Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I know in my mind that the relationship I had with my ex was very dysfunctional and that continuing in the relationship would have only resulted in more pain, frustration, and sadness. I also know in my mind that my ex and I are just too different for a relationship between us to work out. I know in my mind that I need to let go, stop dwelling on the negative thoughts, and move forward with my life. My mind tells me that we are both at fault for the failure of our marriage. My mind tells me that my ex-wife deserves to find someone that she can be happy with. My mind tells me that I deserve to be happy and that I can not be happy with my ex. All of these things I KNOW in my mind.
My heart tells me that it is hurting. My heart tells me that I am still in love with my ex wife. My heart tells me that it is too painful to let go. My heart tells me it needs time to mourn and that it can't keep up with the pace my mind is setting ... which causes me more pain. My heart tells me that it gave its all to the relationship and is in pain because it got so little in return. My heart does not want to let go even though it is causing me so much pain to hold on.
I want to let go and move on but feel like I am being torn in two. Can anyone relate?
My heart tells me that it is hurting. My heart tells me that I am still in love with my ex wife. My heart tells me that it is too painful to let go. My heart tells me it needs time to mourn and that it can't keep up with the pace my mind is setting ... which causes me more pain. My heart tells me that it gave its all to the relationship and is in pain because it got so little in return. My heart does not want to let go even though it is causing me so much pain to hold on.
I want to let go and move on but feel like I am being torn in two. Can anyone relate?
I refuse to look him in the eye. I try not to hear his voice. (hard when he is in the house)
I am planning on moving across the country.
I am determined to kill this. I went through it for two years with my first ex. I won't do that again. I will NOT allow stupid hope to drag me around by the heart for another miserable 2 years...especially after spending 22 years waiting for this stbx to love me.
Hurts now, but I can do this.
Best Wishes.
My head is strong and logical, it is just to smart for the heart.
My heart is not logical it is silly, loving, fun, caring,romantic...
My head gets that I must not love this man... my heart is a slow learner and loves this man.
Heart -----> slow learner.
We are obviously people who allow our hearts to lead.
((((((HUGS)))))
Somewhere along the way your going to have to focus on just you. From the sounds of things you are probably the type of person that wants to please everyone around you. If that's the case it will be difficult for you to break free from that to focus on yourself, but you have to do it. You need a healing right now, just know that people on this forum are here for you and are praying for you
I know that, for my own sanity, I HAVE TO let go. It's just a lot easier said than done.
I am going to court day after tomrorrw. I can do the motion thing, and I can halt the settle ment thing, especially, since it's chump change, really it is. My mother asked me if I was ready. My lawyer says, I go forward with this and come out with some money, if not, I go thru the 14 monthg track and could/would end up with nothing. Origianlly it was 10K, but I sent out a very bad emaail with a naked picture attached. Now he's continued wwith at least an emotional affair with my ex-best friend (who went to my lawyers initial visit with).
I never planned for this. This marriage was for 59 1/2 years. I thought he meant it. Now, he is leaving me in a very finacially bad situation. He doesn't care.
He is a public offical, of a high nature, and subjective to public opinion.
Paulbear, you are right, I am the type that puts others before myself ... at least when it comes to those I love. My family always took top priority in my life and my kids still do. I have been doing more for myself but it isn't easy to change behaviors that I have been doing for 25+ years. It is difficult for me to be "selfish". That is the personality trait that my ex exhibited more than any others and I absolutely hate it. It is very difficult to venture into the realm of behavior that has been the primary cause of a lot of my pain.
It hurts, and it is sad. But it is the only act of love I have left to give.