Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I know in my mind that the relationship I had with my ex was very dysfunctional and that continuing in the relationship would have only resulted in more pain, frustration, and sadness. I also know in my mind that my ex and I are just too different for a relationship between us to work out. I know in my mind that I need to let go, stop dwelling on the negative thoughts, and move forward with my life. My mind tells me that we are both at fault for the failure of our marriage. My mind tells me that my ex-wife deserves to find someone that she can be happy with. My mind tells me that I deserve to be happy and that I can not be happy with my ex. All of these things I KNOW in my mind.
My heart tells me that it is hurting. My heart tells me that I am still in love with my ex wife. My heart tells me that it is too painful to let go. My heart tells me it needs time to mourn and that it can't keep up with the pace my mind is setting ... which causes me more pain. My heart tells me that it gave its all to the relationship and is in pain because it got so little in return. My heart does not want to let go even though it is causing me so much pain to hold on.
I want to let go and move on but feel like I am being torn in two. Can anyone relate?
My heart tells me that it is hurting. My heart tells me that I am still in love with my ex wife. My heart tells me that it is too painful to let go. My heart tells me it needs time to mourn and that it can't keep up with the pace my mind is setting ... which causes me more pain. My heart tells me that it gave its all to the relationship and is in pain because it got so little in return. My heart does not want to let go even though it is causing me so much pain to hold on.
I want to let go and move on but feel like I am being torn in two. Can anyone relate?
The battle rages on ... my mind knows that this is the way things have to be and that she will continue to move forward and do what is best for her. My heart screams at me "She is MINE! Why are you allowing her to hurt me?" My mind tries desperatley to convice my heart that SHE isn't hurting me ... that it is my hearts attachments that create the pain. My heart still doesn't want to listen.
I want to be able to let go of this pain. I would like to get to the point where I can be happy that she is getting what she wants from life. Because I do love her I want the best for her ... but right now it just hurts so much.
You can expect to feel bad, who wouldnt if they have been left by their partner, I know how that feels, read my journals.
But you and I cope with these feelings. I'm not telling you to deny your feelings but try not exaggerate them eitheris there something constructive you can do? If so then plan it now and then go do it!
Mulling over and over how bad we feel only leads to more bad feelings and may push yourself deeper and deeper into a depression.
i wasn't telling you earlier to be a selfish person, only that YOU must heal right now and in order to do that YOU must put yourself first for awhile. Focus on becoming a confident capable gentleman. List out qualities in man that people find interesting and strive for that.
His answer was, " the heart wants what the heart wants" i was soooo deeply in love by that time it sounded right.
I never realized that my heart would continue wanting and his froze...and my mind knows all the right answers, catch phrases ect...my heart still wants him.
Silly heart.
Have you searched your heart- have you tried marriage counsellling, can you look your children in the eye and say I really truly tried everything. Can you live with the fact that it is completely over and done with...
if you answer to any of those question is NO- they you have work to do.
but I must say, you do express yourself so eloquently... rock on dude.
I thought my mind and heart were together yesterday.
I finally had to get angry with her , so she would stop calling.
Buuuuut today one of the lady's i work with, whos husband passed away 3 years ago and has new boyfriend finally, asked me if i ever been to beaver lake ,ark.
And i told her how we didn't have much money and went to eureka spring ark. for our four anniversary . we were so poor we camped out side out town and got up every morning looking at the lake. And as i am saying this i feel the tears well up in me. And the memories flood so hard on the way home i almost had to pull over.
So my mind know she love and is with someone else, but my heart isn't listening.