Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Today has been the hardest morning i have had in a very long time. Last night my girlfriend confronted me that she wasent ready for a relationship. For five months we have been together in a long distance relationship and with all the chaos in my life it really felt like she was all I had. She said she would still talk to me, I could still play games with her, and we could still even tell each other that we love one another, yet I can't help that even with all that it doesn't feel the same in my heart. Her last relationship was one that still leaves a heavy burden on her because it was filled with abuse and neglect towards her. She told me that she is too overwhelmed with all that still with her and that she cant yet give me all of her or commit to any sort of relationship right now. While I understand all of that, and I know its probably for the best that she makes an attempt to get better, I can't help but feel that this is really the end for us. That no matter how long she takes, whether she becomes ready or not, that we would never be together again. That hurts really badly. I help but constantly look at pictures of her, and I can't bring myself to change my phone wallpaper of her. Everything just feels so wrong.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
I assume you know she is telling you the truth about her issues and feelings and ability to be in a relationship. If you think she is lying or dating someone else, that is a different story.
I can understand why you think it’s just wrong. Your feelings are valid. Dating for 5 months is really a short time, though, and I wonder if in the long run you may start to see the flaws and problems you don’t see now. I’m not sure if she’s rejecting you or doing what truly is best for you because she simply can’t be a good partner at this time. But whatever it is, know that you do have value and worth even if she simply can’t be a partner to you right now. You may or may not want to be her friend only. That you get to decide. Take time to do nice for yourself this weekend or this week. I could say all kinds of things about how this just might open the door to new and better for you with future relationships that are more equal in needs. You’ll see that in a while. It takes time to heal.
I know this is the girl that wanted the "polyamorous relationship", when in actuality she was just dating a bunch of different people.
I asked this before, but have you met her in person? How much time in person did you spend together (if any)?
I know it hurts a lot right now. That is completely normal. She is not rejecting you, though. She had been dating other people and I think you were hoping that she would stop that and just date you. People often show us who they really are. And we have to believe it. We wish it were different. We wish they would change for us. It all sucks, and it will take some time, but soon you will feel so much better. A sense of relief, really.
Have you heard of No Contact? Look it up on YouTube. It's when you have no communication at all, nothing, for 30 days. It will help clear your head and help you to take a step back and see that the situation she was presenting, the dating multiple people, wasn't at all what you wanted.
Be kind and patient with yourself right now. You are hurting. Talk to a friend or a family member. Keep up your daily stuff, keep working, going to school, etc.
It is so hard to believe right now, but soon you will meet someone that lives in your city who you can see as much you two want, and there won't be this stress and pain that this girl was causing you. I know you didn't like that she was dating other people at the same time. You deserve better and you deserve to be with a girl who wants to date only one person (you). You will find that girl. You are only 21 years old and believe it or not, you will find the right person sometime soon. Have fun in your 20's. The 20's are truly the best time and most fun time Go out. Have fun. Socialize. Go do things you've been wanting to do. Keep writing out how you feel. We're here for you. You are going to be okay!!