Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Just wondering because we are so basic in our needs and communication. Women give small hints and expect us guys to figure out what they want. Guys are far less complex and when we want something we say what we want or we just do it. We don't read into body language much and we can even communicate through grunts if necessary! LOL. Hell, when I need something I don't shop for it, I find out where it will be cheapest or the most convenient place to get it and I go in, buy it, and leave!
Communication is important in marriage. My ex claimed that she was trying to work on things for a while in the marriage and just gave up. How come I never saw her trying to work on things? How come she never came out and told me what was on her her mind?
I will freely admit that I can be a bit of a caveman. I don't get hints, don't understand subtile suggestions, and I just want to be told what is going on. I use to tell my ex all of the time just tell me what is going on, don't try and give me hints. I appreciate bluntness.
Now that I am divorced and out there looking around I am trying to learn from my mistakes in the past (I know that I have made my share of mistakes in a relationship). If I ever get into another relationship I am going to flat out tell someone to not give hints, be direct and blunt so I know what is going on and can fix or respond to the issue at hand.
Ladies, any suggestions for us cavemen?
Communication is important in marriage. My ex claimed that she was trying to work on things for a while in the marriage and just gave up. How come I never saw her trying to work on things? How come she never came out and told me what was on her her mind?
I will freely admit that I can be a bit of a caveman. I don't get hints, don't understand subtile suggestions, and I just want to be told what is going on. I use to tell my ex all of the time just tell me what is going on, don't try and give me hints. I appreciate bluntness.
Now that I am divorced and out there looking around I am trying to learn from my mistakes in the past (I know that I have made my share of mistakes in a relationship). If I ever get into another relationship I am going to flat out tell someone to not give hints, be direct and blunt so I know what is going on and can fix or respond to the issue at hand.
Ladies, any suggestions for us cavemen?
Lynne
I believe education is a must, you admit you were raise in one way. Now you look at a woman from one angle, that is mostly sex and to please yourself, yet you understand now there is more to it. So, find out, what woman are like, but more importantly, when you meet one, learn about her. Not all woman are the same, not all value the same things. Example, one might enjoy cooking very much and a clean house, the other could care less, loves books and movie, other want to be moms, other don't want that want freedom, travel etc. So, it is a person you are sharing your life with. If you were to share your life with a man, you would still need to learn about him, even though as men you think you have it figure out. You have an education, a culture, that makes male bonding easy with strangers, for surface. But deep down every person is unique. When you get a statement, give feed back, explain what you understood, check with the person.
If she says I like cooking, don't assume she will take that role in the relationship. Ask "do you like sharing the cooking, do you like eating every day home made meals or like to go out?".
When you tell her something about you, check back on what she understood. If you make a statement like " I like going out Friday night with the boys", make sure you add "Would it bother you if I would continue to go out with them if we were together?". See, with the last statement you learn if there is a problem, not ask permission. You both know that if something was stated and accepted from the beginning there is no grounds for later fights. That's my advice, hope it helps.
think about it...... I am man, hear me roar!
Ugh!
(translation for the ladies, I am with you Bro)
Seems to work so far.
We'll see how it goes.
Found a dating site for us guys!
Who needs loin cloth? Only gets in way, just as sexy without!
Mmmm, cavemen... :)