yup

sure do

Yes. It's all about you now. Start writing in a journal. Each day write down things you enjoy or would like to learn. Start doing those things more often and taking some fun classes.

So how do we get found???

Its inside of you. YOu havent discovered another person in you. This would be a great time to do so. You might enjoy it.

I think it will just come in time

Totally understand Happy! Just ashamed that many of us here have to be in this odd place of mind due to another's mis-givings. Not sure if you ever talked with Kimmee about her "Fish in the Mirror" story, but boy did that one help me see a different me... Hugs kind lady.. M

Completely. I am so scared about the endless stories I am hearing. Are humans incapable of great relationships? And why must we treat one another so poorly when we leave? And how, how how do you trust again when someone who was so wonderful could do something so wrong?

LOST and then some.

ditto

Road, how do I find the damn chick inside of me? I could use her!

I think you've summed up how a lot of us feel. I make the motions of going forward, but seem to be stuck.
In 17 months, so much has happened. Looking back I would never have guessed this is how it would all turn out.
I know that marriage is difficult, there are bad times, there are good times, but I never would have packed it all in for totally selfish reasons like my exass seems to have done.
I can accept the fact that the marriage is over. I sold the matrimonial home - quickly to avoid foreclosure, the kids and I have moved into an apartment. My bills are paid and up to date. I've learned hard lessons.
I haven't fallen completely apart and have been here to help the kids through the difficult months as well. Even though they are 21 and 18 their "family" was all they ever knew and in one decision from their father that has been torn apart.
I have a son who avoids talking with his father, who is angry at him and I have an exass who never sat down with them and explained what happened or why. Really I don't have any answers from him either.
I can look in the mirror and see a person who was a good mom, who was a good wife and who is a good person - but I too feel lost. As much as I try to love myself - and know in my heart that I am a good person - I wonder why after 21 years that he couldn't love me, what made me unloveable?
I guess we give off aura's of not being approachable, as i certainly don't seem to generate any response from the opposite sex - I've gone on the online thing - and get responses from either very young men which makes me wonder, very old men - who remind me of my Dad (my dad is 70 and really not that old in my eyes) and biker types and married men - it makes you wonder what really is out there.
So I continue to be Mom - that's all I know, it's what I'm comfortable with and I guess I know that it's something I'm good at. The rest I'm with you - I am unhappy and I'm lost

In my marriage I was always working on my ex and his problems that he brought up but didn't do anything about. I felt like i started taking on the mother role. When everything went wrong it was always "my fault". He never would make decisions so that way he never had responsibility for anything. He always had management positions in his career but he sucked taking ownership at home.

I feel that i really lost alot of who i was and now after 2 yrs of separation I'm getting reaquainted w/ me and it's great. I'm not in the business of remodeling anymore. lol

B, how are you looking to find someone who will complete you? That stranger in the mirror is the person you should look to for all of your needs. She has the answers and she has the love you so desperately need. Once you figure out who is who love will come and later maybe a nice man who can appreciate you. You are whacking my brain with your need for love (dorothy) when you were the source of it all along. All you have to do is click your heals together 3 times and say "there's no love like my own".

yayasis, that was me Momma Brenda!! Ms. Fixit. Now that I only have me to fix I don't know how! I don't even know what is broken? It must be something major!

Patience Happy. Lonelines can make us do crazy things. Be single for a while and get used to it. It will be hard but worth it. You'll learn alot about yourself if you don't have someone else taking up space in the Happy picture, not that you should become a hermit or anyhting, just be with you for a while.

At least that what trying to do. It's driving me crazy, but I'm learning a lot about me. Stuff about me that I didn't even know was there anymore. I think they call that "me time".

Impatience can lead to bad choices.