Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Husband and I are separating after 12 years, he's saying that he needs to fix himself in order to fix everything else he's found someone that understands him in this moment but he still loves me and will care for me the rest of his life, still wants to be part of everything, we've been really honest with each other no cheating or nothing like that ever happened, he still living with us (me and the kids), soon he's gonna visit this new person that lives across the world and come back to the house where we live and I don't know how I'm gonna feel...am I wrong for letting him to this??? I still love him with all my heart and has suffered so much since little that I really want him to be happy and be there for his kids, to be honest after he told me about separating we've talked so much like never before, we've told how much we love each other and want the better for our family, and yes communication is better relationship with my oldest son is better there is a lot of positivity in this, but I'm just afraid since my self-esteem is non existence maybe I'm not seeing clearly how things really are!!!
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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This is incredibly cruel and selfish.
Obviously he put the needs of his family on the line, so he is determined to go do whatever it is he wants to do.
If I was in your shoes ( since I am a bit of a push over ) I would probably let him go and not be a b—-ch about it, BUT he has to know that your marriage is not a revolving door. He can’t just walk in and out. The children are going to be devastated, and while he is pursuing his dream, you will be there to help them through it and somehow manage your own broken heart.
I am so sorry he is doing this.. at least he told you, instead of running around behind your back.
Btw - making an emotional connection with another woman while married IS cheating. Idk what he said to convince you otherwise.
Hugs and strength.
I know before you were looking for a therapist, have you found one? I think talking to someone would be very helpful right now. And as already said, get a divorce lawyer because you need to know your rights (to your house, finances, custody agreements, etc) and a financial advisor to protect your share of the assets.
Not an easy time for you, not at all. I am so sorry you are going through this! But now is the time to protect yourself and not let him walk all over you.
He has met someone else, he wants a separation, he has already moved on (in his mind at the very least). Also, your question was if you are wrong to let him go to this other woman, and it actually has nothing to do with you (none of this has anything to do with you), because we can not control what another person does. He wants to go, let him go, this is obviously what he wants in life. But do not just be waiting there as if everything is okay with you. Because it's not okay.
I haven't found a counselor yet, but it'll be my priority starting next week and financial advisor of course......
Thank you for help me see more clearly I really needed it.
Believe me, I know. I have been through a couple of bad break ups. And I didn't want to believe it was happening. I would look for any glimmer of hope, and maybe my guy would say this or that, and I would get my hopes up.... but ultimately, it would end. All their words do is keep you stuck. Days go by, and turn into weeks, months... This is YOUR life. You can't control what another person does. And if this is what your husband CHOOSES to do.... then you can't stop him. But I hope you get to the point of not being so okay with it, and wanting and hoping to have such a good relationship with him.... he did you wrong... is being completely disrespectful to you and your children.... and you need to face the reality of what he is choosing to do.
Of course you will parent together, but not in the same house... I mean, what is he telling your kids? That Dad is going away to meet some other woman??
He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too. Get that therapist, talk to a divorce attorney (you do need to find out your rights) and make sure you have your own money, not in a joint account.
You are going to be okay. You are in shock right now. But soon, it is best for your mental health to see what is really going on. Hugs and good luck to you.
Basically...he has shot you in the foot, but instead of letting you attend to your wounds...he's crying so loudly about being affected by witnessing such an act.
He's pacifying you...so he doesn't have to face up to the destruction his choices are creating.
He has demoted you from wife, to friend who supports him. That's not ok.
If you are ok with it...then you are a bigger person. But when you said you have nonexistent self esteem...I have a feeling he's done this sort of thing a few other times.
He always has your goodness and ability to forgive, and seek peace to rely on. But that leaves him with no guilt. You carry it for him.
As for the situation with the kids...it's great you came to some agreement.
However...with everything that you guys have agreed upon...I would write each one of those things down...and ask yourself after each item, "Do I really agree with this? Is this in my best interest or his?"
You’ve gotten some wonderful replies and advice already, so all I will add is that you are not alone. I think you should learn to love and respect yourself more and work on your self confidence, because let me tell you, I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. You’ve already demonstrated strength, understanding, and a willingness to honestly tackle your own emotions, which is not an easy thing to do. Thank you for supporting me and I am here to support you too. All the best for now. Looking forward to hearing your update.