My wife is (was) my life, my everything, my reason for living. I put her through some bs during our marriage, as I lost my brother and both parents all during a 5 yr period starting in 2002. I did'nt cope with these loses very maturly, drinking and and tranquilizers. In 2007 I finally got my act together, and we re bonded our relationship. Things were going good, life was good, and we went on some romantic vacations, spent lots of quality time together. In 2014 our 26 yo daughter (who had a history with addiction) became pregnant and wanted to have the child. My wife invited her to live with us as she was basically homeless at the time, and I agreed with it. She and my grandson are still living here, and daughter has been sober ever since yeaa. This is a short history leading up July 4th weekend: I'm 63 yrs old and my wife is 59. We've been married for 37 years. It hasn't been a perfect marriage, however fidelity has not been an issue (that I know of?). Monday morning July 2 my wife went on her daily walk around 9:00 am. Her walks last between 30 and 45 min. normally. At 10:15 I started getting concerned and drove around the block. I found her talking on her phone sitting on the curb about 3 houses from home. I waved and went back home. We met in the garage as we returned at the same time (min or 2 later). I had no time to speak as she went off on me being jealous and paranoid! She has been very short with me over the last year or so. Acts like she can't hear me. And on the rare ocaisions I try being touching with her I get an elbow and derogitory remark. To continue; We went into the house and I calmly asked her what she is so upset about... Then she went off on a long "blanket list" of everything I've done wrong in the last 37 years! With a few add in's I had no idea about! She said she was afraid of me? I never ever touched her in anger. I tried to dig a little as to why she brings all this up now? and why she has been so short with me over the last year? She proceeded to tell me that she doesn't care anymore, and she doesn't love me! I lost my breath! I worship this woman, it was the most hurtfull thing she could say to me! My daughter and grandson came home then. So we picked up the talk a few hrs later. I first went to her while standing, put my hands on her shoulders, and ask her if she loved me, or if they were words of anger? She merely said she feels nothing and started to choke up, which in turn made me choke up. I tried to tell her how devistating this was to me, and she got angry again and blaming me for ancient history again. I asked her whats really going on here? This all makes no sense? Is there someone else? She said no, she would divorce me before she did that. The following morning she said she wanted to divorce me. I tried to talk her into seeking a marriage coach, and she refuses. I tried to get her to tell me what I had done to cause this, and goes back to ancient history. I am very confused, concerned, and devastated. I don't know what to do... Help!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change;The courage to change the one person I can;And the wisdom to know that person is me.
i do try now to change the things i canwhich is me from the inside out. HUGS