since our stories are so similar
I dont find it weird at all
in fact my therapist told me its pretty much par for the course

i thought it was miraculous that you had a relationsip with that other soldier dude, to be truthful

and there was some excitement with that jeep guy, wasnt there?

thats still ahead of me, I mean when I'm out, especially at the club I notice guys arms, or thighs or a seductive voice, but thats different than thinking I'd like to jump their bones, or even go on a date

but then you know how I've gotten settled with the whole thing now
Idont freak out when guys show interest anymore
and I dont freak out that I'm still not all that interested
although I do get happy when some interest pops up for a few hours every few weeks or months
and even though its not according to my plan at all, I figure, I wont miss what I dont miss

somI dont fret

it'll come back when it comes back
or some great guy will walk into my life to melt the ice jam or not

in the meantime, theres a whole beautiful life I'm living

Ive brought this up to my therapist too...and he says the same...its par for the course...but thats it.

Jeep guy is the exception....the only exception.... We saw each other today, actually.

And Mr.last guy.....I have no freaking clue how that happened.

Maybe Im not supposed to figure it out? But i kinda feel "icy cold" Difficult to describe... ugh

I like Joys last three sentences. I date, but they're always more into me, and I was wondering if there was something wrong. With me. I date for companionship and to maybe get more back in to life, but no one has made me feel like I want anything serious. That's going to have to be fine for now. If it happens, it happens, but I'm aiming to just enjoy life even if I'm not attracted to anyone in "that way" again.

I have not been attracted to any guy last many years.

I was attracted to him before this relationship started, in fact since I was in my teens. I have not been able to get attracted to anyone since. Not even remotely.

There was someone who showed interest in me few days back and I could not feel anything at all....

I'm not quite sure how to deal with it as it scares me and I get doubts if I'll move on ...

you're still ahead of the game :)

i'm laughing a bit, thinkin how i just met my exhusbands girlfriend #12

twelve !!

(who DOES look like me but cute as a button, complete with freckles and a contagious smile)

but twelve !!

I think he's making up for the rest of us...but can you imagine? I'd rather be taking my sweet time waiting for the next guy, than have been trying relationships with 12 of them.

i guess everythings relative.

yer doin fine :)

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I also find that it takes a lot to attract me to a man. That's why I'm so choosy on the dating sites and when I'm out with friends. The friends will point out any guy who happens to be breathing, but I tell them that I am not attracted. They're shocked. They think I should just be running around, dating any guy who comes along.

I think you have to have that attraction. If you're not feeling it, you're just not. So to answer your question, yes, you are normal. There is nothing wrong with you.

Me, too.

I've been out of a relationship for 2 1/2 yrs.

I have only been out on two dates.
The first one, I knew right away there was nothing there and did not go out w/ him again. The second guy, there wasn't initially much chemistry, but I wanted some physical contact and we were a great match in that department at first. However, I had NO desire to be in a "relationship" w/ him and he became too demanding of my time.

That was 1 1/2 years ago and I haven't felt a desire to go out again with anyone. I do miss the physical connection.

I'm on a dating site and one of the things that freaks me out is that the men seem as if they are expecting that you will end up being "The LOVE of their LIFE". I CANNOT deal with that at ALL!

I would like to go out and have some fun, but I know my fear of having my life sucked out of me like in previous relationships is holding me back.

I have a bit of a similar situation. A colleague asked to have a drink with him. The thing is he would be great to get together with for a drink or a movie just a nice friend I'd spend some time with. I am afraid though that he is looking for something more or maybe he thinks I may be in need of a new relationship. I don't know how to talk to him. I am in a horrible turmoil with my divorce process and the last thing I want is this guy to be hurt...

Namaste,

you cant rush perfection :)

You're right about that Joy!!

I know for me, it's about energy. Not just the physical part of attraction. But that's the thing.... I RARELY find that either. Kinda makes me feel as if I belong on the island of misfit toys. It's seriously next to never.

After my experience yesterday with my Jeep guy...it has me thinking a little about the relationship I just ended. We sure did have a connection..although it changed. And I'm not figuring out HOW that happened. Strange.

But 3 "attractions" (and only 1 of which was a "relationship") seems quite disturbing to me.

Jeep guy knows this too. We have talked about it several times. He knows that I'm next to never attracted. But there is something about him that makes it all go out the window.

We have an insane connection....

And that scares me a little bit too.

Talk about fireworks.... *sigh*

I know what's wrong with you! Let me sing a song to help you. See if it makes sense.

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts

I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry, your smile in my heart
At times when my life seem so low

It would make me believe, what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know....

I'm all out of love!
What am I without you?!

I can't be too late to say that I was wrong....

Lol

Lord I hate that song.

That song is ridiculous.

Namaste,

so then what are you talking about in the OP?????

:P

kiss Jeep guy and get it over with :)

But isn't that what it looks like? She's just all out of love. I was like that at one time too.

hahaha!!

Joy, I did that yesterday! :P

I guess what I'm trying to convey (my brain is scrambled, sorry1) is that having this next to never attraction scares me... Scary that I dont find it. even scarier when I do, because it is so rare.

What if I'm like this for an eternity? Thats gonna suck!!