My son did this it's not easy. We would let him call his dad. Reassure him daddy was still very much in his life and loved him. I mean it's never easy. It's always a transition. If you want to work on things it should be because you two can work on them not solely for kids because it doesn't always work doing it that way. Did you allow time before moving so kids understood what was happening? Wishing you the best.

My daughter does this as well during her weekends with her dad. She cries for me and begs to go home. I have read (and talk to my therapist) regarding the many various approaches on how to handle and the short story is you have try a bit of everything to see what works for you.

I have read where you should not give any choice & force the child to stay with the other parent, that they will adjust eventually. My parents divorced while I was young and this was the method they used. I will tell you, I have very vivid memories of that time of my life. I don't want my child to ever go through what I did.

Personally, I talk to my daughter often to explain to her that I'm always just a phone call away. I tell her she can call me at bedtime so I can "tuck her in", read her a story. Last weekend when she was begging to come home, I said "how about I take you to lunch? After lunch you can decide if you want to try to spend one more night with dad." That's exactly what we did and she did go back and stay with him again the 2nd night. I think it helps put her mind at ease, that I'm still there and accessible to her. Yes it does interrupt what is supposed to be the ex's time, but I feel it's only going to be for the short term. Eventually, the calls & random meetings will not be needed anymore.

It is a transition and it takes everyone time to adjust, but I personally feel it's important for children to have at least a minimal sense of control in an uncontrollable situation. Especially when their world has been turned inside out.

Thanks for sharing Emotional.....I understand the my son is going to be sad and miss me...he is not begging to come stay with me and the wife is not allowing it...its just he misses me at home. BUT want bothered me the most was the wifes comment that if she knew it was going to be so hard for him she would not of agreeed to sepearate. I found that counteractive to what we are trying to do. THoughts?

I think she is just really worried and stressed right now. As a parent (or mother) it is hard to watch your child suffer and be distraught. Yes it is counter active with what you are trying to do and she is probably voicing her frustration.
Like serenity said if you want to work on things for the TWO of you that is different but getting back together solely for the kids is never a good idea.
Remember this is really brand new and the whole family unit is going to be distraught and emotional.

I hope this helps a little....hugs to you!

Was it only one of you that wanted the separation or was it a joint decision? I agree with the others, trying to stay together solely for the kids never works, but I do believe if you both are on the fence regarding your own feelings about divorce, it's worth putting in the work and effort. Even if your child is the main motivator at this point. Both of you have to be willing though. I haven't read about one person that ever pulled their marriage back on track by doing the work all alone.

My wife left me two years ago, and I went through (still go through) this with my children. Not two days after she left my wife called me and said "The children miss you. I had no idea it would be this hard for them."

I wanted to punch her in the throat.

It drove me absolutely bonkers. I wanted to scream "WELL, WTF DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN!???"

We always make a point of having a goodnight phone call (frequently FaceTime), and we let the kids call the other one of us whenever they want - regardless of the time. So, for example, my wife has called me at all hours of the night so that my youngest daughter can tell me she misses me. I talk to her, and reassure her, tell her I love her, and tell her that I will see her tomorrow (or whenever). Eventually she goes back to sleep, and so do I.

She and I have been living as roommates basically raising two kids for the last 5+ years. We did not act like a married couple that showed love and affection and I feel that kids see that and then they think that is how my marriage should be.