Balance in jobs, balance with helping with the kids. ;)

A. I'm about to lose my house and I don't want to put my kids on the street.

Did you try to refinance, I helped my mom with doing a refi through the new Obama plan and actually cut her mortgage to half of what she was paying.

B. Wife's parents had an intervention with me and freaked me out.

I have had this happen before during my seperation and all I have to say is be fair to yourself, because although they may call it an "intervention" it seems more of an attack than anything else...

C. Wife said she would give marriage one more chance, if I followed her guidelines.

Guidelines? Are you kidding me...I hope you have some "guidelines" as well...that just gets me upset...it takes two in a marriage...

D. I think I need meds for anxiety.

E. I think I'm drinking too much.

F. I'm burnt out from working and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

D, E, F...The anxiety meds may help with the drinking but I myself don't like them, I get too jittery, I can't really talk about the drinking subject, been drinking too much myself...I did get burnt out, and took a medical LOA for anxiety, depression, and stress, maybe you need to look into it for short term disbality to just breathe and catch a break.

G. I have no taco kit at home.
Taco Bell is pretty cheap? LOL

I'm sorry for all your troubles Rman....it sounds like you've been doing what you can....she is the one that needs to put more effort into the relationship if she really wants to give it another chance. Be good to yourself and take care of yourself...what good are you going to be to your girls if you're not taking care of you?

And yeah, I don't feel I can come here for any real support anymore, and that sucks....I got reported yesterday for stating that I would like to see some peace brought back to the board....that I missed the old DS...I doubt I will be here for very much longer...but not by my choice...

The question remains, do I want to sacrifice my own needs, in order to meet hers and live the fairy tale dream with my 'princess?'

you got a full plate....eat one thing at a time. IF you really think you need something for anxiety...try some breathing techniques (you can look it up online or ask your therapist if you have one) or take a long hot shower. Drinking too much is not good. It leads to more. You could join a in-person support group. Keeping busy with people you feel comfortable helps. Spending more time with kiddos really helps too. Then you all benefit from the time together. Chin up, it's going to be okay.

I would agree with TD, balance of it all and for both, not just you to have to change.

Yah Rman... SOME of your needs, as she would have to sacrifice some of hers.

You get to determine which are non-negotiable, as does she.

you shouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness Rman....if you're not happy, its going to reflect on to your girls...and thats not healthy for them...

I know in my own case....I grew up with a father that was unhappy and angry...and I ended up with a lot of anger...stuff I'm still working through to this day...at times, I've felt it would have been better if my parents had just divorced instead of all the fighting that went on, and all the sadness and unhappiness that I had to be around growing up...

Like I said....take care of you so you can be the best person you can be and the best father you can be to your girls.

If I had your situation, Rman, I would first demand that our finances be brought under control. If that meant letting the house go, then I would. If it meant that she must work so that I do not have to work two jobs, that is what I would insist upon. Then, I would demand that our debts be paid off and money be saved regularly. I would move the family someplace with a reasonable cost of living. Perhaps the midwest.

That is merely the starting point. If there is resistance to financial problem solving as basic as this, I would drag her butt into a counselor's office.

Screw feelings. Personally, I have to have the practical problems solved first before anything else is even considered.

My two cents worth anyway. Good luck with navigating all of this, Rman.

A. I'm about to lose my house and I don't want to put my kids on the street.

I agree with the refinancing suggestions.

B. Wife's parents had an intervention with me and freaked me out.

intervention? Really? WTF? did they also do an intervention with HER? If not, I wouldn't take it seriously.

C. Wife said she would give marriage one more chance, if I followed her guidelines.

it needs to be BOTH OF YOUR guidelines for it to work.

D. I think I need meds for anxiety.

Do what you must.

E. I think I'm drinking too much.

It would probably be a good idea to cut back on the drinking... yes.

F. I'm burnt out from working and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I agree with what Faithful has said about financial balance. You cannot support your family when locked up.

G. I have no taco kit at home.

what the hell is a taco kit?

We are all pulling for you Rman. You've shown intelligence and compassion in your responses. You can do this, you can make it work.
One day at a time, one step at a time.

Yah Rman. Start demanding stuff. *eye roll*.

Do the counseling, listen, talk, and do not hold back.

actually, the anxiety is a good thing. it indicates that you are a problem solver and desperately want the problems solved.

sit her butt down with a piece of paper. list the REAL practical stuff that would create a sane lifestyle for you both. real things. real changes. the feelings will take care of themselves once there is a sane lifestyle constructed.

the good news is that you have some raw good stuff to work with. you both are motivated to create improvements. the inlaws want to see you two solve your problems. and, you have money coming in to work with. those things are enough to build something really good, Rman.

Yah Rman. Sit her butt down. LOL!

Do the counseling, listen, talk, and do not hold back.

Jumping on faithful's advice....
Rman - it is a marriage with TWO people, not one
Maybe it will take losing the house for your wife to understand the circumstances
Maybe it will take counseling for the two of you to see eye-to-eye
Maybe this is all a blessing in disguise, forcing you to make a decision that's been hanging around your neck like a noose

maybe

All I can say is it's ok to be scared and it's ok to admit it...then YOU can do something about it. You are not a weak person for admitting your faults. As far as her demands...meh...depends how demanding they are. You are working 2 jobs, demand she get out and get one.