This was on the Family Issues board here. Read the link here, particularly the OP's posts, before you respond.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Family_Issues/forum/17235713-need-advice

What has happened is not ok.... never ever would be ok in any land or language...
I think you have done right by kicking him out and I if it were me would stay away from both of them. They are not good for you.
keep coming back to the site you will find help and strength here....
Don't let him back in the same thing will happen again and again..
reach out to freinds and try to stay strong...
I know we are all hurting on this site... but it is a moment in time really... 6 months a year from now ... we will all be in a diff place and see things from another side... hang in there.

Thank you for supporting me. I am also on the family issues page on here. Joined this page also as I didn't see it before. New to this . My husband is upset and stressed and blames me. I have told him it is his fault and my daughters. I am the innocent one here. He don't seem to want to accept any blame. Just blames my daughter. They are both guilty to me. They hate each other now which I find strange. My daughter says get rid of him because he came on to her. He says she is a liar. I know she tells lies but I saw those texts. I even had a recording on my phone that he deleted. It was him asking her to meet him and her agreeing. I planted the phone. I still love him but he tried to make out he is the injured party and is blameless . He plays these mind games and I question myself thinking I'm the crazy one. I am not strong and he knows it. He says he loves only me but how can he. I have tried talking to them both but get nowhere. I am going try get some counciling . Someone on here told me where I can get free counciling in my area so I am going to have look. In the meanwhile I am trying not to take him back. But it so hard when you love someone you don't like anymore.

regardless of how old your daughter is, it is your daughter. Whether your husband made the move on her, or even engaged if she made the first move, is wrong either way. He is married to you and should not seek another, especially your daughter.

I am glad you are seeking counseling. You need to have a strong base in order to seek what you want and need in your life and not to allow trash to stay idle in it.

You daughter is blood and I hope that she can get help with her substance problem and that the two of you can mend your relationship. As for your husband, if he will even flirt with your daughter, my guess is he would do it with another woman or maybe even man in general. He showed his character with your daughter, so now you know how he would handle a situation whether he was approached or he approached her.

Stay strong and continue to accept and seek positive relationships in your life and remove those that aren't. Life is too short.

Welcome to the group. Feel free to post here or in any other group that you feel gives you the support you need.

I understand what it feels like to be alone in a problem. This is really bad and you should try your best to be a good mom and not a good wife right now. The person who is lost and needs help is your daughter not a grown man in his fifties who would do something like that. Hopefully it was just texts but still you can't be sure.
I would report it to the police. But more than that I would try my best to help my daughter to find her way in life.
I know what it is like to be with someone who is no good to you and keep seeing the good in them no matter what. But in this case please think of yourself first. Do you really want to be with a man like this???
I hope you find peace and I send you a big hug and all my support. Feel free to private message me if you need to talk to someone.

*like* #5

Don't know how to private message on here. Thank you for your help in am desperate for all advice

Animal: Her daughter is an adult, so it isn't a crime.

Let's see, hubby gets nasty with some texts with your daughter...a recovering drug addict.

You kicked him out, but he always finds a way to weasle back in.

You became a MOM before his wife, correct??

I'm trying to see how it's confusing what you should be doing...I think this situation writes its own answer.

Which is....LEAVE HIM FOR GOOD. PERIOD.

I am doing my best here to not take my husband back and I am going to get councilling to make me strong enough to keep him away. he wants to come home and I have said no to him

all you can do is your best. Just keep reminding yourself that you deserve what you would give, nothing short of it.

stay strong

Today I feel ok. I find the night is the lonely time. He keeps asking me if I have someone else because I wont see him. I tell him no because its the truth. How he could even think that I could just move on to the next man, I do not know, He is looking for something to blame me for to make him feel better. He is not in control now and he don't like it. He keeps asking for sex, unbelievable. He thinks what he has done never took place. He keeps saying I love you and im beautiful and he never did anything wrong. He says my daughter is the one to blame. I am on a rollercoaster, one minute im strong the next im in a heap.

Keep those feelings in check.
YOU are in control of your body, mind, and soul. Stay in control.
And when they are out of control Stop, cry if you must, breathe and keep going. Never make decisions or talk to him or your daughter while you are not feeling strong.
I have my daughter lying beside me taking a nap right now as I write this and all I can think is How can anyone do a thing like that? Be strong and know that you deserve SO MUCH BETTER than a man like that.

Another day of it. Him texting, ringing . asking where I am, who I am with. unbelievable.

Stop taking his calls/texts. If you don't pick up or respond, he'll stop.