Okay please don’t take my comment as criticizing you or your relationship because trust me I’ve been there in my current relationship except I’m the guy fighting for her but she’s not for me.

Just because a relationship may seem perfect from one side doesn’t mean that it’s seen the same from the other side. He may be a good guy or from what you described your perfect guy, but he may have seen or desired something different. Two people seeming perfect for each other doesn’t necessarily mean they love or will love each other.

My girlfriend of 4 years had an emotional affair on me claiming I wasn’t the built guy she normally goes with, I didn’t live close to her and I was too immature, but from what I saw was I went over to her place, got her anything she needed and was always there for her, I thought we were perfect, but she saw differently and currently our relationship is not progressing like it should be an may not last.

Do not take this as criticism of yourself, you did everything you should have done, you are yourself, some guy just as good will come around and actually love you for you, coming from a guy, most of us are all the same, you will find someone better and that will be better. Satisfaction and connection doesn’t mean love.

How old are you both, because early twenties this kind of things seems to happen to everyone at one point before we truly find the right one

"If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with" - Stephen Stills

Crfootball20 is spot on when stating "two people seeming perfect for each other doesn’t necessarily mean they love or will love each other."

Back to Stephen Stills, you were the one he was with, not necessarily the one he loves. Perhaps the "she is my everything" feeling just wasn't there for him.

We are both in our mid 40's. He has told me that our relationship was perfect so its not one sided. He just said he doesn't love me like I love him. He was always very guarded to tell me he loved me, but he eventually did tell me. Which I questioned if that was a slip up on words. He said no. But now he claims he doesn't. Not that he does and just isn't in love anymore but basically claiming he never did. I'm confused. I think he is confused too? He said he is sooo attracted to me. But without those heart string feeling he feels he is missing out on, says if he doesn't seek out other woman to try to have that with them than he won't be any good to himself or anyone. Whattt??Some past background info. He divorced his wife of 23 years to be with me. Why do all that if I'm not his person? What's the chances that he will realize he made a mistake and come back? He says any man would be soo lucky to have me because I'm incredible woman. Again, this confuses me? Why am I not good enough to try to figure things out with? Instead of staying and using his energy on me to figure this out. He would rather quit and try to find with someone else? Just doesn't seem fair.

He would rather quit and try to find with someone else?

Seems like that is his pattern, isn't it? I mean, he "quit" his wife to be with you. Now he is "quitting" you to be with someone else.

My gut feeling from reading all of this thread is he has already found someone else, or at the very least, has already been looking around for a new woman, or women.

He did not need to say those hurtful things to you such as never loving you, that is not right of him. He didn't have to be cruel.

Mid 40s... could be mid-life crisis. Could be him wanting to be with as many women as possible while he is still "young" enough to get them (since he was married 23 years and then 3 years with you... oh so NOW he wants to see what he has been missing out there??). I am so sorry you are going through this but it is best to let him go and he may or may not come back, but you are going to have to move on with your life, regardless. I'm so sorry he is being selfish and a possible narcissist.

Forget about him. If he said he have no feelings for you than stop stalking him. Try to find new love

I may be off base here but, it sounds to me that he is going through a "mid-life" Crisis. It's kind of like menopause for men. At his age, he feels his inner man is still lacking so, now he feels he has to go out on his own to see if he's "still got it". It's kind of like the lyrics to a song Jerry Lee Lewis had out a few years ago. "He's 39 and holding, holding everything he can. from 18 to 21, still trying to prove he's a man". He's burning that old candle, It's burning at both ends. he's 39 and holding, trying to prove, he still can."

I'm sorry this is happening to you but, when all is said and done, you can't make someone love you. I tried that years ago too.

I will give you one suggestion put your 100% effort. Try him to convince. If still he is not ready to accept then please do not waste your time and move on and keep yourself busy. Focus on your goals. Try to work hard for your goals.

Self-centered jerk whom women like because of his unavailability, and dangling affection- a frustrating scenario for nice guys who are loyal and honest. Any chance, there's a third girl in Romeo's group. When you post, you do open yourself up for honest discussion and I think you made a mistake going with a married man and I suspect you would be dealing with the same type of problems if you did marry.

I'm sorry this is happening to you but, when all is said and done, you can't make someone love you. I tried that years ago too.

Goes around comes around. He probably told his wife the same thing when he left her for you. Sorry, but you are culpable in this man’s marriage ending because you allowed a married man to break up his family for you. Own that and all that comes with it., including choosing a man with no moral compass. Leaving his wife for you should feel like a character flaw, not an act of love and devotion. Sheesh, why would you want him back?

I get reaching mid life and questioning your happiness, your worth, what you want... everyone should examine themselves that way throughout their life. That doesn’t give you permission to sucker punch other people, and you know, be an general a-hole. Count your blessings you don’t have to waste one more minute on this turd. Heart strings... what, are we 14???

Oh my gosh, I understand completely. I had a perfect relationship and then I was sent home to another state. We had a long distance relationship for about a year and then things started to deteriorate like a locamotive going downhill without breaks. In the end, he broke up with me OVER FACEBOOK MESSENGER! I found out he was cheating on me the whole time. Great. It's been almost 2 years. Oh, there is a way I want him back terribly and make things like they used to be. My heart is still broken and I'm still devastated. It's going to take time. And from what you just told me, don't you think you deserve better? Better is out there, I have to believe it. You need to believe it. And there is no timetable on grief. It takes as long as it takes. But the right guy is out there. Much better than this goof. You are a loving, compassionate person. Use those wonderful qualities on someone who will appreciate it. Let this one go. It's hard, but I know you can do it. I have to do the same.

I can understand in which situation you are going through. If he is not ready to live in a relation then please don't force her because if stay forcefully in a relation then both of you will not stay happy. It's better to ask her for a break in relation for some time. After taking a break if you both are not happy and not have feelings for each other then its time to end relations and search for another option.