Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am at least lucky in this in that I very very rarely remember my dreams.
BUT the last two nights I've had dreams where the situations weren't just of how things were before but how they FELT. It is so bad that when I do wake up, I wake up in those feelings and it hurts all over again.
I don't want to get together again with my ex. I don't want to remember how great things used to be, and they used to be great. I don't need to re-feel all of it to remind me of how I don't have it anymore and how much she is now someone else's.
I feel cheated and I'm not sure of the reason my brain is forcing this on me.
And on a related note, tonight I went to sleep without OTC sleeping aid pills and it was a huge failure so far. Not only did I just get less than 2 hours of sleep but now I have to try to go back to sleep with this crap on my mind and heart.
I wish I could just erase this all and move forward, and there wasn't this big long drawn out process that I have to go through, while she is just fine with her new relationship with her new engagement ring I wasn't able to get her yet, with her new girlfriend that I'm sure she talks about that she's more of a man than I ever was, and doesn't seem to care at all about me and what we had, and seems already past all the crap I am left to deal with, if she ever had to deal with anything at all because I was just replaced, like she upgraded or something, and would rather go on like it never happened.
It's not fair and I didn't deserve any of this. I was good to her and would have taken care of her forever. While I was told by her and her parents that there wasn't anything I could have done and it's not my fault, it doesn't change anything for me.
I just want to sleep like a normal person again.
I just want to be normal again and not emotionally tied to this shitty situation, where I took a huge risk and it didn't pay off.
There is zero comfort in knowing that there was nothing I could have done, it would hurt just as much if it was another man. She gave up on me and "us", and just swapped me out, throwing me in the garbage like I never even mattered, when she used to not even sleep without me and couldn't get enough of me.
I hate my dreams, maybe that's why I very rarely remember them.
BUT the last two nights I've had dreams where the situations weren't just of how things were before but how they FELT. It is so bad that when I do wake up, I wake up in those feelings and it hurts all over again.
I don't want to get together again with my ex. I don't want to remember how great things used to be, and they used to be great. I don't need to re-feel all of it to remind me of how I don't have it anymore and how much she is now someone else's.
I feel cheated and I'm not sure of the reason my brain is forcing this on me.
And on a related note, tonight I went to sleep without OTC sleeping aid pills and it was a huge failure so far. Not only did I just get less than 2 hours of sleep but now I have to try to go back to sleep with this crap on my mind and heart.
I wish I could just erase this all and move forward, and there wasn't this big long drawn out process that I have to go through, while she is just fine with her new relationship with her new engagement ring I wasn't able to get her yet, with her new girlfriend that I'm sure she talks about that she's more of a man than I ever was, and doesn't seem to care at all about me and what we had, and seems already past all the crap I am left to deal with, if she ever had to deal with anything at all because I was just replaced, like she upgraded or something, and would rather go on like it never happened.
It's not fair and I didn't deserve any of this. I was good to her and would have taken care of her forever. While I was told by her and her parents that there wasn't anything I could have done and it's not my fault, it doesn't change anything for me.
I just want to sleep like a normal person again.
I just want to be normal again and not emotionally tied to this shitty situation, where I took a huge risk and it didn't pay off.
There is zero comfort in knowing that there was nothing I could have done, it would hurt just as much if it was another man. She gave up on me and "us", and just swapped me out, throwing me in the garbage like I never even mattered, when she used to not even sleep without me and couldn't get enough of me.
I hate my dreams, maybe that's why I very rarely remember them.
:)
The dreams i do have tend to be of him yelling at me. I think that i think about him so much that I try to get into his head and try to understand his deep hatred and mistreatment of me. Yea...that does nothing to help me heal. It's my sleeping brain yellin at myself and abusing myself instead of him. Do i really miss THAT part of him so much that i now do it to myself!?!?!? ugh.
I have been able to sleep better since i started my online dating profile. I must admit. Fear and misery is now replaced with a sense of hope and that others CAN and do understand. And love is possible without him.
I don't have a dating profile, but I am seeing via friends and such that I am a good catch. I am not horrible and all that. There is hope in that and it feels good to hear. I definitely never got that much affection and complements from my ex (unless I initiated it), so it's awesome to believe.
It would be nice to be with someone that was affectionate in touch and words, as much as I am, or at least close. Sure, I love being the man and attack/dominate/controller, but I love to get it back in return without having to initiate anything every time.
It sucked knowing the only kiss I'd get from not initiating was before bed or when she left for somewhere. Maybe it should have been a red flag or maybe she had self-esteem issues, I dunno, but it was very taxing on me. Bringing it up to try to communicate never ended well.
Anywho, a bit of a tangent there, heh. It's late.