Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am at least lucky in this in that I very very rarely remember my dreams.
BUT the last two nights I've had dreams where the situations weren't just of how things were before but how they FELT. It is so bad that when I do wake up, I wake up in those feelings and it hurts all over again.
I don't want to get together again with my ex. I don't want to remember how great things used to be, and they used to be great. I don't need to re-feel all of it to remind me of how I don't have it anymore and how much she is now someone else's.
I feel cheated and I'm not sure of the reason my brain is forcing this on me.
And on a related note, tonight I went to sleep without OTC sleeping aid pills and it was a huge failure so far. Not only did I just get less than 2 hours of sleep but now I have to try to go back to sleep with this crap on my mind and heart.
I wish I could just erase this all and move forward, and there wasn't this big long drawn out process that I have to go through, while she is just fine with her new relationship with her new engagement ring I wasn't able to get her yet, with her new girlfriend that I'm sure she talks about that she's more of a man than I ever was, and doesn't seem to care at all about me and what we had, and seems already past all the crap I am left to deal with, if she ever had to deal with anything at all because I was just replaced, like she upgraded or something, and would rather go on like it never happened.
It's not fair and I didn't deserve any of this. I was good to her and would have taken care of her forever. While I was told by her and her parents that there wasn't anything I could have done and it's not my fault, it doesn't change anything for me.
I just want to sleep like a normal person again.
I just want to be normal again and not emotionally tied to this shitty situation, where I took a huge risk and it didn't pay off.
There is zero comfort in knowing that there was nothing I could have done, it would hurt just as much if it was another man. She gave up on me and "us", and just swapped me out, throwing me in the garbage like I never even mattered, when she used to not even sleep without me and couldn't get enough of me.
I hate my dreams, maybe that's why I very rarely remember them.
BUT the last two nights I've had dreams where the situations weren't just of how things were before but how they FELT. It is so bad that when I do wake up, I wake up in those feelings and it hurts all over again.
I don't want to get together again with my ex. I don't want to remember how great things used to be, and they used to be great. I don't need to re-feel all of it to remind me of how I don't have it anymore and how much she is now someone else's.
I feel cheated and I'm not sure of the reason my brain is forcing this on me.
And on a related note, tonight I went to sleep without OTC sleeping aid pills and it was a huge failure so far. Not only did I just get less than 2 hours of sleep but now I have to try to go back to sleep with this crap on my mind and heart.
I wish I could just erase this all and move forward, and there wasn't this big long drawn out process that I have to go through, while she is just fine with her new relationship with her new engagement ring I wasn't able to get her yet, with her new girlfriend that I'm sure she talks about that she's more of a man than I ever was, and doesn't seem to care at all about me and what we had, and seems already past all the crap I am left to deal with, if she ever had to deal with anything at all because I was just replaced, like she upgraded or something, and would rather go on like it never happened.
It's not fair and I didn't deserve any of this. I was good to her and would have taken care of her forever. While I was told by her and her parents that there wasn't anything I could have done and it's not my fault, it doesn't change anything for me.
I just want to sleep like a normal person again.
I just want to be normal again and not emotionally tied to this shitty situation, where I took a huge risk and it didn't pay off.
There is zero comfort in knowing that there was nothing I could have done, it would hurt just as much if it was another man. She gave up on me and "us", and just swapped me out, throwing me in the garbage like I never even mattered, when she used to not even sleep without me and couldn't get enough of me.
I hate my dreams, maybe that's why I very rarely remember them.
I am exactly where you are. I still hang on to some hope, even though I KNOW he isn't coming back. UGH!
Since he and I started to discuss plans to file for divorce about a month ago, on a conscious level I thought my hope was gone, but apparently it's still lurking in there somewhere!
I'm sure for both you and me, that our hope will continue to fade more and more with time, as we see that they aren't coming back.
BTW, I love your new avatar!
And, sometimes I think I am holding on to the pain because I dont want to let go and forget him.
Last week, I had several dreams of my ex-some good, some bad.
But I havent had one in several days.
Emotional detachment is pretty strong, but I do have little periods and trigger moments from time to time, but they are much easier to handle now. When I do think that she may end up being a good friend or when she may be nice when I see her, I remember the horribleness she did to me as a lover and friend, and it really puts things in perspective.
gothic: http://www.dailystrength.org/content/view/1853006#change_photo