Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am at least lucky in this in that I very very rarely remember my dreams.
BUT the last two nights I've had dreams where the situations weren't just of how things were before but how they FELT. It is so bad that when I do wake up, I wake up in those feelings and it hurts all over again.
I don't want to get together again with my ex. I don't want to remember how great things used to be, and they used to be great. I don't need to re-feel all of it to remind me of how I don't have it anymore and how much she is now someone else's.
I feel cheated and I'm not sure of the reason my brain is forcing this on me.
And on a related note, tonight I went to sleep without OTC sleeping aid pills and it was a huge failure so far. Not only did I just get less than 2 hours of sleep but now I have to try to go back to sleep with this crap on my mind and heart.
I wish I could just erase this all and move forward, and there wasn't this big long drawn out process that I have to go through, while she is just fine with her new relationship with her new engagement ring I wasn't able to get her yet, with her new girlfriend that I'm sure she talks about that she's more of a man than I ever was, and doesn't seem to care at all about me and what we had, and seems already past all the crap I am left to deal with, if she ever had to deal with anything at all because I was just replaced, like she upgraded or something, and would rather go on like it never happened.
It's not fair and I didn't deserve any of this. I was good to her and would have taken care of her forever. While I was told by her and her parents that there wasn't anything I could have done and it's not my fault, it doesn't change anything for me.
I just want to sleep like a normal person again.
I just want to be normal again and not emotionally tied to this shitty situation, where I took a huge risk and it didn't pay off.
There is zero comfort in knowing that there was nothing I could have done, it would hurt just as much if it was another man. She gave up on me and "us", and just swapped me out, throwing me in the garbage like I never even mattered, when she used to not even sleep without me and couldn't get enough of me.
I hate my dreams, maybe that's why I very rarely remember them.
BUT the last two nights I've had dreams where the situations weren't just of how things were before but how they FELT. It is so bad that when I do wake up, I wake up in those feelings and it hurts all over again.
I don't want to get together again with my ex. I don't want to remember how great things used to be, and they used to be great. I don't need to re-feel all of it to remind me of how I don't have it anymore and how much she is now someone else's.
I feel cheated and I'm not sure of the reason my brain is forcing this on me.
And on a related note, tonight I went to sleep without OTC sleeping aid pills and it was a huge failure so far. Not only did I just get less than 2 hours of sleep but now I have to try to go back to sleep with this crap on my mind and heart.
I wish I could just erase this all and move forward, and there wasn't this big long drawn out process that I have to go through, while she is just fine with her new relationship with her new engagement ring I wasn't able to get her yet, with her new girlfriend that I'm sure she talks about that she's more of a man than I ever was, and doesn't seem to care at all about me and what we had, and seems already past all the crap I am left to deal with, if she ever had to deal with anything at all because I was just replaced, like she upgraded or something, and would rather go on like it never happened.
It's not fair and I didn't deserve any of this. I was good to her and would have taken care of her forever. While I was told by her and her parents that there wasn't anything I could have done and it's not my fault, it doesn't change anything for me.
I just want to sleep like a normal person again.
I just want to be normal again and not emotionally tied to this shitty situation, where I took a huge risk and it didn't pay off.
There is zero comfort in knowing that there was nothing I could have done, it would hurt just as much if it was another man. She gave up on me and "us", and just swapped me out, throwing me in the garbage like I never even mattered, when she used to not even sleep without me and couldn't get enough of me.
I hate my dreams, maybe that's why I very rarely remember them.
The loss of her family and loss of my best friend is really the hardest part to take. I don't have a family anymore and they were it, I even took a chance and started calling them mom and dad, and they called me son, even on the day I called her mom when I found out the news she was dating someone else like a week after we broke up, she said I'd always be a son to them, no matter what and they loved me. Now, I don't even have that and it's only been like a week since then.
My dreams just remind me of all that I lost, not just memories of thought/scenes, but also of the feeling too, and that's the worst part.
But I guess it's just part of the process.
Song: that is nice to think about, but still sucks on my end. I can never be friends in the same way with her again, or even past a casual situation. There is too much betrayal and lies at the end of the relationship, the trust is gone.
But I know eventually this will all be a distant memory and I'll, of course, being the hopeless romantic will dive in again with both feet and eyes closed in another relationship.
Just wish it would happen sooner, rather than later.
I also need to start exercising, like others have suggested here. I bought sneakers for it and have a new XBox with Kinect games and even that Jillian Michaels Body Revolution DVD set.
remember, there is a good reason that the military works their bodies so much. the healthier the body and the more exercise it gets, the easier that it purges mental and emotional stress out of its system.
I try not to medicate my body with anything if I dont have to, but particularly when my system is trying to void stuff....like, the few times I've had the stomach flu or food poisoning, I just let my body do what it needs to do to get rid of the toxins as quick as possible, because the thought of taking a pill thats going to keep all that poison inside of me when nature gave me this biological mechanism to get rid of it, just doesnt sit right with me.
I had nightmares for quite awhile, and they upset me, but I also reminded myself they were just dreams, they werent realioty, and like every other feeling, it comes in like the tide, and washes out again too.
The subconscious is trying to get some work done, at least thats my way of looking at things, that soemtimes the mind and the body has wisdom we dont.
Plus, screw the drug coimpanies!
ha :)
Edgar, youre gonna be fine, with the drugs, without the drugs. We all find our way.
Thank you ladies and germs, I'll be here all night. Be sure to try the veal.
last night I had a dream that my stbx told me that everything that happened was because of his depression, that he is better now and he still loves me and wants to get back together. It seemed so realistic, too. UGH!
I know in real life he would never want to get back together, since it is clear he has walked away and isn't looking back (and that is his M.O. with women)-- but I guess in the back of my unconscious there is still a wish that he would :-(