Well depending what kind a dad he is but my kids would be crushed not to see their dad for holidays but I feel he SHOULD pay. I have 3 kids and cant imagine no contact at all cause we have to discuss the kids but mine is not a cheater so I can see not wanting to talk to him. Now where will this OW be during the trip?

Well, I have no way of knowing about OW unless I ask him.. I know I cant do NC forever, but for a while I need to cuz he is very manipulative and verbally abusive.. I do let him talk to the kids tho.

no i say he moved away, this is his problem and he shouldv
've thought about this and put his kids first before being an idiot about it. He has to learn from his mistakes and after what hell he's put you through, you are NOT entitled to BAIL HIM OUT. Let him handle this .
(((HUGS))))

Ha! he just text me again "U busy or somethin?" So have the tables turned a little bit? It used to be he would take forever to text me back sometimes and I would know he was up to no good and I would be texting things like that.. "u busy?" "Hello?" "why are u taking so long to answer me?" etc.

OW just messaged me on facebook offering to pay for me to bring the kids to Texas... WTF???? I feel sick now... I want to tell her off....

I am sorry you have to go through this....I cant imagine dealing with OW and he should not even allow her to contact you thats between you and him.

agrees with #6, and nope, don't let her bail him out....he's a grown man right? So he decided he didn't want a wife and instead settles for a "mother" . No this is HIS issue, your kids are none of the OW's business. Don't even return the message and block her ass!!

I messaged her:
All I'm gonna say is this:
Of course I dont want to hear from you.. HELLO you are having an affair with my HUSBAND. I dont want to deal with him. You are the 4th that I know of. He has no respect for marriage, no morals, doesnt care about his kids.. You dont know the real him. I almost feel sorry for you because you are with a sociopath but you are obviously choosing to stay with him. If he will cheat with you he will cheat on you (oh yeah he already did!). Dont try to bail him out.. This is not the first time he has bailed on his kids! (xmas 2009, 4th of july 2010, & thanksgiving 2011) HE DOES NOT CARE so why should you or I? He is a grown man and shouldve put some money aside to pay for his trip. Dont let him fool you into thinking he is broke.. He has no reason to be broke or need money from you. He doesnt even pay his child support. He owes me $21, 500!!!!! If he's taking money from you he is using you. He tells EVERYONE he is broke (always has) so he can get people to pay for him or loan him money. He owes several people money besides me. You just dont know. He's a manipulator. I offered to pay to take the kids to him for Thanksgiving and he is the one who cancelled on us. I know how he is, I've known him since we were teens. This is not the first time we've been through this. He will try to come crawling back to me sooner or later like he always does. There is something wrong with him. He's a scumbag and a shitty excuse for a father. I dont want to take your money.. I made plans for us anyways since he cancelled on us, and believe me its not about money.. Its about you. He doesnt want me and you to contact eachother so he can feed us both his lies. My kids are not going to have a "stepmom" or anything of that nature so there's no need for you to ever come here. You really should just stay out of this and let him be a man. He does not care if he hurts his kids and you will find out the hard way, trust in that.

Then I text him "It is not ok for your tramp to message me on fb"
I'm not going to count that as breaking NC because OW said "dont tell him I wrote u, he will be mad" so I want him to know she did. Now I am going to block her.

I like what you wrote, very well said!!! good for you!!!

Was going to suggest keeping with your goal to wait till January. Still seems like the emotional detachment is not there in order to deal with it logically. Sounds like you're pretty understandably angry with the whole situation. It sounds fishy he used excuse he couldn't afford to come then the o w offered to pay to have them come to TX. I don't know. Yes there is some healing to be done and they probably can't help with that, though it may feel good to vent, the kids need to come first and trying to keep things civil is best for them, as hard as that may be, it may be possible after plenty of time and emotional detachment and healthy places/ways to vent. I wish you the best I know it's tough and there's got to be some legitimate anger, but how to deal with it constructively?

No, don't go to Texas. He was the one who made the plans to visit his kids, so he had plenty of time to save up the money for airfare or purchase the ticket in advance; don't indulge is selfishness. He cancelled on his kids for the sake of his Ms. Slutness and now he wants you and his kids to adjust your lives to fit his selfishness, HELL NO! it would be more expensive for all three of you to fly and find a place to stay during holiday time more than if he did it by himself.

Continue no contact. His excuse his bogus bullshit. I'd sale blood, take a loan to see my kids, if I truly wanted to; his excuse is lame.

Yup u are right! He made plans, he should follow thru with them

Logically, NO, you should NOT go to Texas! He has made his bed and you need to let him sleep in it. Your kids will be fine in the long run as they have already missed him on other holidays mentioned earlier. He has to proove himself to them, not to you! Hugs. Neesie

I agree with the others. Christmas comes once a year so he's had 365 days to save money and make arrangements. Tough on the kids but even tougher still to make plans and have him bail as it seems to be his pattern.

Good for your for sticking to NC. I also think you behaved very well with the message from the OW. Told her what you thought, did it in a classy way, and then blocked her.

I'm curious as to how he has avoided paying child support. Is he in the military? Can't his wages be garnished?

I agree with the others. Christmas comes once a year so he's had 365 days to save money and make arrangements. Tough on the kids but even tougher still to make plans and have him bail as it seems to be his pattern.

Good for your for sticking to NC. I also think you behaved very well with the message from the OW. Told her what you thought, did it in a classy way, and then blocked her.

I'm curious as to how he has avoided paying child support. Is he in the military? Can't his wages be garnished?