Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Its an emotion I DONT do well with.....
Honestly, I hate the feeling. I work so hard to be peaceful. It's takes just about an act of God to really hit my anger button.
Well, it got hit a few days ago when I received another email from my ex bf. This is the 3rd one in about 6 weeks. I did not open the last 2, so why this one?
I take full responsibility for opening it. Had I ignored and deleted, I wouldn't be here, stuck in this anger now
Basically it said its all my fault. I disnt communicate with him?!
Wtf?
11 months I waited while he was deployed. Countless letters everyday, packages, sent hi. Everything he wanted or needed. Only to come home to him shutting down and taking off. He was on leave for a month and took off for Florida ...no big deal...told me the day before he left..and then didn't speak to me for 3 weeks....and *I* am the one who doesn't communicate?!
Screw him.
And now it's my fault that he moved back to the west coast, is unemployed..and in the only bankrupt city in the whole freaking country.
Ugh.
Why am I dealing with this months after the fact?
And why is he bothering me?
Honestly....I went through a TON of shit with my ex husband...and don't ever remember feeling anger like this...
Wtf?
Know how it was topped off this morning? I had to go to a family gathering for breakfast...
Guess where I got to sit? At the table with the children....
And then when everyone shifted after breakfast....they made room at a table where I got sit next to a freaking "Barbie"
Ugh.
Honestly, I hate the feeling. I work so hard to be peaceful. It's takes just about an act of God to really hit my anger button.
Well, it got hit a few days ago when I received another email from my ex bf. This is the 3rd one in about 6 weeks. I did not open the last 2, so why this one?
I take full responsibility for opening it. Had I ignored and deleted, I wouldn't be here, stuck in this anger now
Basically it said its all my fault. I disnt communicate with him?!
Wtf?
11 months I waited while he was deployed. Countless letters everyday, packages, sent hi. Everything he wanted or needed. Only to come home to him shutting down and taking off. He was on leave for a month and took off for Florida ...no big deal...told me the day before he left..and then didn't speak to me for 3 weeks....and *I* am the one who doesn't communicate?!
Screw him.
And now it's my fault that he moved back to the west coast, is unemployed..and in the only bankrupt city in the whole freaking country.
Ugh.
Why am I dealing with this months after the fact?
And why is he bothering me?
Honestly....I went through a TON of shit with my ex husband...and don't ever remember feeling anger like this...
Wtf?
Know how it was topped off this morning? I had to go to a family gathering for breakfast...
Guess where I got to sit? At the table with the children....
And then when everyone shifted after breakfast....they made room at a table where I got sit next to a freaking "Barbie"
Ugh.
I get stuck at the kids table too. For some reason they thing its a good idea to have the divorced guy with no kids to sit with the kids.
My coping mechanisms...starvation and physical pain... I'm noticing about myself. Even after all of the years divorced. Not good.
:)
I like it
Maybe its clearing things out from inside of you to help prepare you for another relationship. Maybe both? Either way - its all good. You are allowing yourself to feel it and move thru it. You totally see it for what it is - you haven't responded to his last several emails, so he is pulling out the big guns and blaming things on you - because he knows how you will react. He wants you to react. He wants to keep feeding the fire - if he were secure within himself he would have stopped emailing you the first time he didnt get a response.
The people that go outside of themselves to tear people down are the ones that are afraid to look inside for what they need to be accountable for. You aren't one of those people. Just hit delete, don't react and carry on.
I like being stuck at the kids table - they are more my mindset anyway. :)
xoxo
I can think of about two, maybe three times, where my blood boiled dealing with my X, even almost two years after our divorce. All times, ended up being more pissed that I was pissed than anything else...
...but, it's fleeting. For the five minutes, hour...whatever amount of time it is, it goes away just as fast. Life continues on...you have made so much headway, that I think this is a tiny bump in the road...
Being angry sucks, but it takes so my energy to be angry, you won't waste your time for very long.
Good riddance to bad rubbish...and go beat that heavy bag :) hugs!
Sweetie, you know who you are. I read those journals while he was gone, and man, NO ONE could have asked for more from a woman.
He's all f'd up, and projecting all his own crap onto you....as I'm sure your ex h did.
So... let it go, it's the same shit, different guy....I think Mr. Jeep is gonna be the one. Got a good feeling about this one...
You are still awesome. Who gives a damn what the loser says, LOL.
Just keep your head up, it's gonna get better.
no contact. the past needs to stay in the past.
Also, being seated at the "kids table" must have just been the icing on the cake!
Here's to the return of calm and peace ahead of you :-)
It's where I usually land at family functions....
I have earned loser status in my family because I am divorced. I am the only divorced person, and it's shameful to them. I'm reminded often of the bad choice I made. It is my fault. Perhaps it would be less shameful for them from the outside to continue to live with a sociopathic drunk who liked to beat me.
Families suck sometimes..
And so do exes!!!
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