hlks

Just curious, you said you are allowed to see other people but your SO (significan Other) is NOT. Not exactly a fair deal in my opinion. Why is it ok for you and not for him?

Just wondering. If I were in that situation not sure I would be very happy about the situation. What should be good for one, should be good for the other.

Well my current (but screwed up) relationship goes...is that he allows 3-somes as long as it is another GUY...and we both agree on him. I would rather have MMF though...but my bf is totally gay. But at least we are both allowed to have the extra person...and we both have to agree to who it is. I guess in that respect...its fair.

I am currently in a polyamorous relationship going on two years now. It has has its rough moments but so did my marriage beforehand. I am so very sorry you had such a bad experience.

I did get rid of warden (ex bf)........ and am just happy...........dating right now. Both genders.

is it just me, but wouldnt a polyamorous relationship be very stressful, I mean, one signifigant other is complicated enough...

I was in a poly for awhile with 2 women, & he thing was, y'know when you're in an arguement& you get into "butt-head mentality & can't back down even if you're wrong? the third person diffuses all oof that. There were virtually no arguements...

When did you leave the lifestyle?

A 4 or so years ago. Everything ends sometime...

cool, so where do i go? I just want to be with a group of people who will accept me for the fact that I can appreciate love no matter what sex it comes from. Does this sound like I am explaining it right?

I believe in Poly relationships. I am married and I have had a serious romantic relationship with both my husband and girlfriend that lasted for years. I am now currently looking for a new girlfriend to be in a poly relationship with now. I am not looking to have a 3some with a woman and my husband but for a meaningful relationship with a woman in addition to the one I have with my husband. A lot of people don't admit to a Poly lifestyle because we live in such a monog society. Although it has been a way of life dating back to the ancient Greeks. I know that not all Bisexuals live Poly lifestyles but I don't see how you can fully embrace being Bisexual if you don't because there is always going to be something missing and a part of who you are that is going unfulfilled if you are only with one person. I have been monogamus so I know what it feels like to be Bi and Monogamus it feels like a very important part of you is missing. I can't speak for everyone else I can only speak for myself. To me it is about much more than sex. Sex is only part of my attraction to both sexes. To be honest I also fall into the Pansexual category because I see and love a person beyond their gender. It isn't someones gender that makes me love them it is who they are as a person and how they treat me that makes me love them so I can love a woman or a man in a romantic way. Pansexual is almost like saying you are not limited or blinded by love. It is not a term that many people are familar with I classify myself as both but I usually say that I am Bisexual first and Pansexual later on since a lot of people that I talk to would look at me as though they are completely confused. They already think you are confused when you say that you are Bisexual. I read a book recently called Bi America that talks about how the Bisexual community is virtually invisible and the myths and truths about Bisexuality and the many different definitions and lifestyles that Bisexual people live. I found it very helpful. It mentioned Polyamory in it.

The group here on DS was shut down by the OP of this thread. I have started a new one...if you are poly or poly curious please join!

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/polyamory-relationship-challenges

I look forward to talking with you all!

I tried to add the group and it said it did not exist! :[

Polyamory!

I am a natural bi-sexual and seek (and have for 2/3 of my life) a dual-monogamy family. The most micro-type of polyamory. I believe any think larger in "love" relations can get too complex to manage as people are a complexity of emotions. polyamory then comes a cloke for a wide open relationship more like polygamy (where each bond does not require the "amory" at all.

wow this thread crept up from the depths...retract my answer from last year..no longer poly..split up with H...and am in a very healthy and fulfilling monogomous relationship with my partner (not the same woman from last year) who is a woman....in a much better place now :)

I did this thread in reverse, I just found it today and posted but only after doing so did I read the historical replies. And yes, just as I stated (before even reading) the very initiator of this thread found out the hard way what I was saying.

Women tend to be the victims in poly because they do not stop to reflect on what it means AND what that will mean to them emotionally. They "know" what it means and are exited about that, but do not "understand" what it means.

Logic one: If "poly" & "amorous" means "many" & "loves" what part did you not "understand" BEFORE getting involved with it:

The concept of "many" or the "loves", YES it is a haven for the "selfish" and "self-centered" this is why mostly it's the women who want these "many-loves", But if her husband does the same "loves in it's truest definition] she can easily feel "cheated on" [The men tend just want "many-lusts] knowing the consequences/dangers instinctively of crossing the line into the many "loves" agreement.

Therefore often "poly's" end up with multiple men to one woman and "rarely if ever" the reversed. i.e MMMF or MFM etc. OR multiple females with hubby on the sideline M-FF. Only when "polyamory is religion based do you find one or two men to multiple women i.e - the Mormons. The couples concept can more often work (i.e a quad), but eventually, they tend to reduce down over time to MFM or MFF....one female falls out (probably "feeling" cheated on.

You see the poly-amory doesn't just mean hubby will have you plus another woman as sexual variety spicing things up, it ALSO means he is allowed to "LOVE" a woman other than you. To handle this the first and wife is established as "primary". But the problem is, what if the title goes to the other woman over time.

Sex is ALWAYS subject to become a "bonding agent" to any 2 partners even if it starts out as lust only. And if it starts out understood as "love" (amorous) in the beginning, then that bond has ALREADY started. It could strengthen or weaken over time and the first wife could find herself slipping to secondary relationship--at least emotionally. Thereby she is now "lo and behold" being "cheated" on.

The only poly I recommend is for the emotionally mature and the UNselfish natured participants where "love" is NOT possession (this is a "spiritual" evolution) where all involved have "the CREATOR" as their "primary". and then couples can make it for longer in a dual-monogamy. She then is his wife and "his" alone and he is her husband and "hers" alone. The couple only connect through the "same gender" tracts.

This seems to be the easiest, fairest, and most fulfilling way to handle poly loving. The alternative, is simply have an open marriage where he can see other women and you other men.

I have NEVER been married cause I discovered in my teens practically that people tend not to "really understand" what they need for life but rather at best they "know" what they want at present. And "experiment/experience" their way along. When the ride ends....they are hurt, feel used and cheated on, but still remain lost at sea to themselves until the next ride.

STOP. reflect, know thyself WITHOUT experience, seek your higher power (preferably your CREATOR) and then set out on your mating journey and let no-one (male or female) steer you off course.