Sorry, this post is just a tiny bit explicit...and a little too long :P

I am %99 bisexual. I know that sounds funny but I only say that because I've never experimented with a member of the same sex (I'm a guy). I'm 17 Years old, also keep that in mind.

So i have this absolutely amazing best friend. We've known each other since middle school but only really got close this past school year. Both of us are suffering with depression, on varying levels. Some days its bad and other days bearable. He's been battling it for 6 years and I've only been at for 6 months. It's how we found each other. One day, we were at school and he noticed my scars on my arm even though I tried to cover them up. Ever since then, sleepless nights, cutting, nightmares, panic attacks, we've helped each other through all of it. I love him like a brother.

Recently, I've started to notice some feelings I started having towards him. He's pretty good looking but it's his down to earth personality I fell in love with. These feelings only really came to light one day after we laid on my bed and watched a movie together and just talked, he went home and it was kinda late so I just went straight to bed. I rolled over right onto the pillow he was on and it smelled like...him. I don't know what it was, but it made me miss him so much even though he was there only minutes ago.

Now that summer has come around, we get to spend a lot more time together. Yesterday, he came over and another one of our friends was coming over but somwthing happened last minute and she couldn't make it. We sat in the living room and turned on Insidious Chapter 2. We sat so he was laying down and he pretty much had his legs on top of me but my right leg was under his pelvis. The whole time he kept grabbing me out of fear as we watched the horror movie and I thought it was the funniest thing the way he held onto me until things quieted down on the screen.

At one point in the movie, he spoke up and said "dude, no sudden movement of your arms, I want kids someday" I looked down and realized my arm was pretty much over his crotch, (completely accidental). I was going to move my arm but I realized just what I was feeling under those pants. It wasn't a boner, but it was something. I laughed and moved my hand. I slowly felt myself grow a little hard and I didn't want him to notice so I moved my legs a little bit and it was fine.

As the movie went on, we started heckling each other like we always do and at one point he made some snide comment about my car and I said "Hey, do you want me to give you a blowjob or not?" Now keep in mind this kind of talk isn't new. We always make sexual jokes to each other. This time around though, when I said it we just kinda looked at each other and I was aware of the tension so I said, "Then shut up" and we just laughed it off.

Later, when the movie was over we switched to something on the tv. We were still in the same position and he started to stretch and his pelvis went up and he said "I need something sucked" and as a joke I gave him an annoying "Oooookkkk" and pretended to start unbuttoning his pants. Again we laughed it off. I thought about how easy it would be. No one would be home for hours and I finally wanted to find out if i was %100 Bisexual. It was then did I realize some part of me wished that he was serious.

Should I try to initiate some sort of sexual situation, ask him to experiment? At this point, I don't know if these jokes are actually jokes or hints that he might want to try something new. Now, he's straight. He has a girlfriend who lives out of state. But if it's an experiment, it's no strings attached right? Not on his end at least. I want to try stuff, and what better person to do it with something I love and trust?

Please help!