The agreement was a FEW days a week during the lunch rush. How did you let him allow you to wind up working all week by yourself? I would go to him and tell him that you really only wanted a few days a week during rush hour and you are finding that working Mon.-Fri by yourself is more than you wanted and is becoming stressful. Sounds like more than a little job for you. You are NOT a failure, you are just stressed out because you are working more than you originally intended to be. Talk to your boss and see if there is a compromise that could be had.

You could say you have other commitments and that working so much is interfering with those. :-)

I'm going to try to get a job today. I'm really nervous about it.

D... I would talk with your boss... This would be very upsetting... It's not the agreement you made and you don't want to work outside the home everyday..
You have a lot going on and your own business as well that you care so much about
I'd have a sit down with the boss sweetie ... This isn't right
Great big squishy hug for you...xo

You are not a failure. I would let your boss know that you can only work the original agreed on few days a week during lunch rush. There is no reason to allow yourself to get stressed by working 5 days a week by yourself.

Good Luck

Please don't feel like a failure! The original agreement was for only a few days, so maybe you can use the suggestion from evildoer, that you have prior commitments which was why the few days initially worked? I think that is a great way to set the expectations. You obviously have AWESOME skills that made the owner want to give you more. So feel proud of yourself, hon! I am in the middle of my own career cross roads and totally understand about the anxiety and stress. I think I break down daily in the bathroom in tears. At some point we have to remind ourselves that we need to take care of ourselves first. (HUG) Hang in there! :)

1..NOT a work failure !

2..You are doing a great job.

3..Sit down with your boss ,explain that you need to stick to the few days a week you originally agreed upon.

4..If he knows you are BP, that should be enough of a statement from you.

5..If he still wants you all those days and will not lower your hours. Well tats, you did your best !

Your not a failure..you are going out trying to do something nice for you and your family by taking this part time job.

I agree with everyone else...this boss is the one who is stepping over the boundaries and the original agreement.

Write down what you are honestly willing to do and can do. If the original worked then stick with that. Courage is having fear but doing something anyways... Have courage and go to the boss and tell them what you can do and stick firmly to this. Your health is number one.

Your a great person :)

Look,at,how,successful,you,have,been.Are,you,happy,doing,the,work?
do,you,want,to,continue,with,it?If,so,talk,to,your,pdoc,about,regulating
your,dose,of,klonopin,and,using,relaxation,techniques.You,sound,
like,you,are,doing,an,amazing,job,so,stop,for,a,moment,and,
congratulate,yourself,on,that,front.Then,think,about,which,step.is.the,
next,right,one,for,you.The,one,that,will,make,you,comfortable,and,
happy,with,a,good,workload,and,a,reasonable,income.Big,hugs,and
good,luck,with,it.--I,don't,see,any,failures!

Ask your pdoc to add Something to the prn - or get more prn...

Everything gets easier with repetition -

You like it, your gaining confidence, your out of the house, your making money - hang in there! So, it sucks a month or two - call it growing pains!!!!!!

Or if you want to quit, do - but I feel you don't, so I know FOR ME pushing and getting used to things? Works! No one in life is good at things the first month, or used to things, or comfortable!

It's new and worth it - but if you want to quit, you didn't fail you tried! You did well! Acceptance, its hard - acceptance you don't want too... there is no wrong or right, do what you want - what is in your heart! But thinking something is easy, after years of isolating and not doing? Well, that is incorrect - and causing you more harm - your expectations........

((((BIG HUG))))) Imagine any athlete - maybe rock climbers, do you think they hang off a cliff by their finger tips, the first time they start? No, they learn and gain confidence, it gets easier and they keep pushing : )

Well sweetie, you know how I feel about it... Maybe you should reduce to a couple days a week and if you do that you can build up to five days a week. . No one should jump into that many hours at first - you know I ruined my mental health that way five years ago... and even a 20 hour a week job just killed me probably because it was about 10 hours too much at the get-go so I got anxious and discouraged. Totally not worth it though if it's making you miserable. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. You're very brave for just even giving it a try. And I do think you can do it if you SLOW DOWN!!!

You are not a failure. You are doing very good considering he is scheduling you during the rush hour 5 days a week. Talk to him and just tell him you can only work the agreed amount of days you first talked about.

Hey at least you are making an effort to be out in public and dealing with people etc.. That is my next step. If you have to take a little extra medication to get by then I don't think it's a big deal :) .. I am not your pdoc though. I hope things get better for you..
--Nick

Don't do this to yourself, Trust me I worked in a hospital 12 hr shifts with patient overload and NO ONE(rarely) to be kind to you and also pitch in to help(and Im not meaning the patients) I ended up in that same hospital for 5 days. I was a neurotic mess. Stand up to your boss kindly and tell him how it is!!! Be good to you!!!

Thanks from the heart for ALL the responses and support I deeply appreciate it.

Have given ALOT of thought and am talking to the boss on Monday about doing 3 days a week.......I won't be able to keep doing what I am doing like this without having a damn relapse. I am totally exhausted now and feel like crying every other minute....not good. So I know what I have to do and that is cut back.....I can say I gave it my all....I always do!!

Love and hugs to you all and thanks so much for helping me out here!!

As long as we are growing, we will continue to fell fear.