not separate lifes but diffently not constantly involved .
I am not married but in any realionship or marriage you shouldnt live separate lifes or constantly involved then were is you in all this or were is your realionship if it completly seprate.. i dont no im 20 wft do i knoe:S

I was just discussing this with one of my friends recently....

I think that in any relationship, it is healthy to have parts of your life that are separate from one another....I don\'t think it is necessary to be constantly involved in every aspect of your partner\'s life.

Besides, it would drive me absolutely NUTS to have a partner who was involved in every aspect of my life. I need room to breathe!

I\'ve never been married so I\'m not an expert. But I\'ve been single a hell of a long time and I can\'t imagine someone involved in my life 24/7. That would drive me bonkers. No way. There has to be a balance. Marriage is about union but it\'s not about smothering one another. Ideally, two people are interdependent and give each other space to have a fulfilling life with friends and outside activities that don\'t always involve each other. It keeps the relationship fresh IMO.

sweet im not a stupid 20yr old!

some space is a good thing. secrets aren\'t good, not talking about that, but rather my relationships have been more stable when we\'ve both had our own lives too.

I\'ve never been married....don\'t know if I will. I feel weather you\'re in a marriage or just a regular relationship, each person should have some sort of separate life. something that is their own. space is needed too. I worked with one of my ex\'s, so we were together for the first few years of our relationship. at first it was cool, but man, i really got sick of seeing him day and night. one guy i dated, we worked different places but had the same hours, so we never really had our own time/space. another guy i lived with was here the minute i went to bed, woke up, got home from work...etc. he didn\'t work. so he was bored and when I was home it had to be us together. I need my space, i need to be able to have time in the morning for my coffee, smoke and wake up. I need my unwind time after work. having someone here is nice and all, but in my face no thank you. The guy i\'m with now, he respects that of me, we also work different shifts. so there are days we don\'t even see eachother. we are also both in college so at times we do our homework together. we also have different interests so that helps too. we meet half way on chores and communicate very well...although at times I think he\'s afraid of me and my many moods....lmao....but for the most part he loves me for who I am. and that\'s what counts!

marrage is what you wanna make of it i guess like anything in life

I have been married for 25 years and I can only share what has worked for us......Our marriage together is a melding of "spirits", a sharing of "life, joy,happiness, struggles, challenges, frustration etc. It is "being there" for one another through everything NO MATTER WHAT. In our marriage we have always allowed each other to maintain personal identity.....we each have hobbies, activities and friends that we spend time with. We take some time for ourselves to enjoy "who we are" without the other. We also share hobbies, activities, and friends "together".

Some time away from each other is healthy for many reasons. We make discoveries about who we are without the other and we appreciate more our time together. Missing each other does make the heart grow fonder.

My husband is in Canada right now, fishing, with friends and two sons. He needs this time away to decompress. It doesnt mean he doesnt love me, it means he is a person with his own identity. I do the same when I go on day trips with my friends or a vacation with my mother..............It all works and it has kept our marriage very healthy.

Most importantly, is "what you do together" that makes the time valuable and nurturing. You bring more to the relationship if you have nurtured yourself.

dh and i both rely heavily on one another. we don\'t smother each other, but we share everything. he has been my rock thru all of this and i have been there for him i hope when he needed me. between him and the girls they assisted me to get thru that horrible day yesterday. i don\'t know what i would do without him. he and kidlet have the horse together and i just tag along for the company. i don\'t do much on my own besides the grocery and stuff like that and he usually comes with me. we are a partnership.

Been married for 13 years and I have to agree with Shelly and EJ both. Pretty much sums it up.

I think there are times of great togetherness and times where you feel as if each of you were on separate islands. The latter is how it is for my husband and I these days. He has activities that take him out of the house three nights a week and on Saturday morning. Not that I would ever deny him these things, but I miss him a little...alright more than "a little". It\'s hard. I guess I just have to make the most of the time we have together...

I don\'t believe you should be constantly involved.I think everybody needs something that is still their own like a hobby or a long soak in the tub or something that you like to do.

I\'ve been married for 24 years. Each person has to have something that is their own.

I have been married for 4 months. I thought my marriage would have been a marriage were my husband would want to spend as much time with me as possible. atleast for the 1st few months. he doesn\'t I felt hurt and betrayed because he always seems to want to go off and be apart from me. We both have bp!!! Since we said, "i do" there has been so much bickering and arguing. like daily. I am tired of it. These posts have helped me to see I am atleast partially to blame. I will give him the space he so desperately desires starting today. I wish u the best

and thank u for opening my eyes to how I have been tearing down my marriage with my own hands...

It is his marriage to and he is just as much entitled to the space he needs

Marriage is a business partnership that provides less costly than dateing sex.
& people agree and enter into a companionship- not lost your identity ship.
2 havles will never make a whole persons.
And slavery is against the law and abuse and manipulation and being bullied is against the law and is un healthy.
Sounds like you you have a control freak that beyound insurcured in his own self that he abuseing you and trying to manipulate you.

what do you talk about since he can tell you what you ate by the smell of your fart.

Aw go ahead and allow him to control and isolate you to point that you question your own self and wont make a move w/o him telling you to do so or not.

Apparently he wants to be the only brain that you both share. Fart again and he\'ll know you not only bought a candy bar but you ate a candy bar w/o his permission.