Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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jfulk
jfulk
This morning, I laid in bed having a strange desire to cut. I'm really ashamed to even be typing this, but I know that this is a group of people that I can surely talk about this with and get some advice.

I've never wanted to cut a day in my life. It's never appealed to me and has certainly not felt like a necessity. Right now, I don't really want to and think it's silly to even think about it.

But I was thinking about what a great relief it would be. I don't think I'm cycling and I don't have an abnormal amount of stress. Hell, I'm on vacation for 2 weeks, I should feel great.

What if these thoughts continue? I'm not suicidal. I could use some help here. I know I'm probably the neediest person in this group and I'm sorry.

Thanks everyone and happy holidays.
bbipolar
bbipolar
I don't think you are the neediest person in this group. I think you are going through a rough patch. Can you start some sort of project for yourself or for your children or wife that would take your mind off the cutting. You have 2 weeks with nothing to do. Can you make something, journal, write a poem, create a toybox, stool, herb garden for window sill, whatever, something to take up your time? Or see friends, socialize, organize your family pictures from last Christmas, make a scrapbook, cook something, teach the kids something, make music with the kids as a gift to your wife and record it as a christmas gift and date it?
jfulk
jfulk
BB...Thanks so much. That is helpful. I think you're right...I really need to occupy myself during my time off instead of sitting around watching freaking Intervention on A&E.

My mind hasn't really been on the cutting today. When it's come into my mind however, I haven't thought of it as awful though. It seems to me to be a logical stress reliever. I know how silly that sounds. I just can't explain it very well. Fortunately it's not much of an urge. I just hope it doesn't get worse.

You're right....I need to occupy myself.
vickybea
vickybea
you may not feel unwell but for it its a sign when l start counting things l know l need to see my Dr or check how l'm really feeling or what l'm going through if l'm stressed etc l may not feel the stress but a lot of small everyday jobs that l have to do can trigger the ocd in me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
As someone who cuts, I can tell you that it helps make me feel better, which is wrong. It's as though it makes my emotional pain go away for a while. Sometimes it helps to keep busy, but for me, the big thing is staying out of the house. I can just sit in a cafe for hours and that helps. Sometimes, I do it even when I'm not alone now.

I hope you see your doc soon and talk to him or her about this.

*HUGS*
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
you are right that is what many people do is use cutting to relieve stress..
take the pain from the inside where it often seems uncontrollable to the outside where it can be controlled by you.
unfortunately it is a bandage effect and a dangerous one at that.. it can become an addiction for some... does not relieve stress or help you to heal
bbipolar has some great ideas and I hope if you have a great desire to cut you will talk to your doc
Big hug of comfort for you, I hope it gets better soon
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would suggest that u get with some of the real cutters in here, so that u will find out what the cutting is really about. You would be suprised how many of us there really are. Maybe you should start a group for cutters, sounds good to me, I would join or talk to Doug about starting one, I have not found one yet, so check it out and talk to ther cutters. There are many different reasons that we cut. And lack of attention I do not believe is one of them. Good luck and get busy, stop sitting around and watching tv, get on here and try to help some other people.

God Bless,
Kase
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're not being silly. How do you think other people ended up cutters?

Whatever you do DO NOT start down this road, it is insanely difficult to get away from and very dangerous.

Some people find ice cubes to the wrists or rubber bands twanging off them works, most of all distract yourself...

Im sorry if any of this has been already said
deleted_user
deleted_user
New here. I don't know anything about physical cutting. What I am very familiar with is the mental/emotional cutting that goes on inside me just about every day. Internal cutting also serves a function/s. For me it's like a price to be paid. Maybe we have something in common? I'd be willing to talk to anyone about it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not sure why the disire I never do it but I can understand why some people do it ,maybe your going through stress that you dont relise takecare
jfulk
jfulk
I must be manic. I woke up in the middle of the night with all kinds of stuff in my head. Ridiculous notions have been popping up and I've been getting all kinds of crazy ideas. I don't feel depressed but rather strange and stressed.

I think this is mania for me. I've experienced it before, but I'm usually depressed and not manic. So this is an interesting change.

Maybe this is where the cutting idea has come from. I'm not thinking about it as much anymore. Thanks everyone for your ideas and support!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Any new medications or antidepressants lately? I never had that urge before until I was given an AD. when taken off I was fine. I was given Abilify for depression once and it did the same thing I got off after a week and no further urges since. Just a thought.
jfulk
jfulk
About a month ago I added an antidepressant (Lexapro) back into the mix. I've got to have something because Lithium doesn't keep my depression away.

I think I'm going to ride it out and see what happens. I've not really had much of an urge, more along the lines of thoughts. I think I can control it.

If this is as bad as my mania gets then I think I'll be all right.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Lexapro was what did it for me. I just couldn't take it anymore and started to get getting signs of mania. I was finally put on Lamictal. It's really not enough for me either but no AD's for me. We all have our thresholds so I wish you the very best and hope it all works out. :-)
angeleyes92
angeleyes92
when I ended up with that desire 2 years ago it was because of a med. you might want to talk to your doctor about your cocktail. If you werent a cutter in the first place these thoughts are not normal. Please talk to your doctor before you end up with a bad habit
angeleyes92
angeleyes92
It was Lexapro for me that brought on the thoughts. Call your doctor right away
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