I kind of asked the same question to another friend. She said "most of us just muddle through." I know that might not be the most inspirational thing but I guess "one foot in front of the other "might also be a way to say it. I know when you get down and stuck it can be hard to start - but it feels so good once you've started and are doing your thing - especially once it's all done.
Keep on keepin' on Jan!!! You know I get stuck too Jan, and you unstick me if that's a way to say it! ha! Just keep in touch for that encouragement to help push you out the door so to speak!!! We're here!

Thanx sweetie..... Muddling through sounds good to me...… Big squishy hug.....xo

Well, I work during half the week, so that doesn't allow me to give in to feelings of "yeah i'm not doing that today" feelings on those days.

My hard days are Fri - Mon., my weekends. I deal with a lot of medical illnesses and pain along with the BiPolar, so sometimes its real easy to give in and just say screw it, i'm not getting out of bed, I'll finish those 5 projects later, I'll catch up on the briefcase full of work later. Its also easy, because like you Jen, I live alone and it doesn't affect anyone else, most of the time.

What I've found that gets me out of it, is to nip it in the bud as soon as it starts. Whether I feel like doing things or not on the weekends, I make myself get up, and move. I try to schedule appt.'s mid-morning Fri. or Mon. as that forces me up and out of the house. Once I'm up and dressed and out, I generally feel better and get things done. Saturdays I use for projects around the house and gardens. Sundays are my "lazy" days, I forget all I have to do, and just do what I want...which is usually stay my pj's and read and watch movies.

For me it's balance and not taking on too much and then not letting myself give in to not finishing. And giving myself permission to have a day where I do whatever the hell I want, which is usually a whole lot of nothing.

Take care,
Kat

It would help to know what you are feeling stuck on. Tasks? Feelings? I like to assign two or theee small tasks at a time per day. Big tasks like cleaning my room take up the whole day. When I feel stuc in life in general I talk to my therapist who when suggests I take a step forward, reflect on how far I’ve come.

Sometimes when I'm stuck it's because there is something deep within me that needs to be resolved. We keep trying to move forward when we need to stop and look inward.

I would look at that first, but as far as pushing forward...

There is actually a wonderful unstuck app! You can find their website (unstuck.com) or find their apps in the google or iphone store. (free!)

I also looove creative brainstorming. It's where you basically list everything you could possibly do and really go nuts with it. I also like to make an anti-list. Things I definitely DON'T want to do. (sometimes I get a little dark humor with it... cut my own head off, etc. It makes me laugh and gets me out of my headspace.)

It's a toughie, Jan. How to get the wheels out of the ruts without tearing up the vehicle? ? ? Why can't life be as clean and simple as a car commercial?

Nudge, nudge. . .
One foot in front of the other. . .
Take your best guess and muddle through. . .
Say, "fuck it" and have another cup of tea. . .
Appreciate the fullness of time. . .
Make a wish list and go wish hunting. . .

Whichever route you take, be gentle with yourself and patient with the process. Don't forget how many people you inspire, just by being you.

I agree it's a toughie Jan with no A + B = C type of solution.

When I find myself stuck it usually has something to do with being unable to access " acceptance."

Be gentle on yourself and I have to agree movement helps...in whatever way you can get your body going....

(((Hugs)))) none of this is easy :)

Thanks so much for all of your wise words I truly appreciate them.... I'll read this over a few times

It's getting out of the house for the most part and anything social I struggle with

I spend a lot of time alone because I choose to..... and I don't think it's healthy....

Now that I don't get out to work I think that's a big part of the problem Kat

I took care of my folks for the last several years of their lives and my mom had Alzheimer's …. My Dad had a series of strokes and was partially paralyzed …

. I was able to go out for 2 hours twice a week to do shopping, banking etc and after a while I no longer wanted to go out..... I developed some agoraphobia I guess

My mom passed in 2007 and I've never been able to get the social me back

In the home and chores I am always on top of.... I'm a bit of a clean freak to my home is nice

Hmmmm, I can relate to the whole ‘not moving forward’ sort of feeling, though I keep extremely busy. I’ve gotten better with self care amidst the constant workin for a Paycheck feeling and striving toward a better financial situation...... but it’s a bit different than more of an agoraphobic type feeling.....which I’ve also encountered in episodes in the past.

Support groups are good starters. But then other things have helped with the climb. Museum days? Matinee movies? Library outings? Thrift shopping or hitting up garage sales?

You’ve been through a lot Jan taking care of your parents. And you are always here for us, providing safe advice and comfort to so many. You deserve to take care of your amazing self, too. What would lift you up? Something you once enjoyed that you haven’t tried before, or something you’ve always wanted to try? A neighborhood you’ve never visited? (I’m a brainstormer about these things....for me it’s creative thinking essentially that gets me out of that stuck feeling. I cannot recommend a free public library for inspiration enough!)

Ah I see. I too hate going out. Even to my sisters’. They all live within 15 minutes of my parents Home. I go shopping and I’m fine with that but mostly I stay home. Except shopping and my appointments. Despite wanting to isolate myself I do get cabin fever and I need to get out for a bit. My point is that I also struggle with wanting to be left alone. The fewer interactions with people the better. Work is enough social stimulation for me.

Have you tried going to a coffee shop with a book? Or walking around a local park? Plenty of social opportunities there

I schedule outings if I don't have appointments- I joined a free class called weightwise- once a week class on weight management- they have other classes to--- I find my not socializing I was getting stuck in my thoughts-- and I find energy from others helps me--- so going out makes sense--- I go for a coffee and read as well- being near others helps-- I hope you find solutions ((hugs)) polar

You just have to push forward but it is not easy and not always possible.

Thank you for the wise words..... A weight management class would be great.... I'm going to look up my area and see what comes up..... Big hugs.....xo

Is there any opportunity to Volunteer that you think you'd enjoy? I find helping others helps me feel better and keep things in check.

I only work in my office 3 days a week, and it can be easy to not leave the house those other 4 days.... I don't particularly like being around a lot of people, don't like shopping, or just going out places for the sake of going out. There was a time a few months ago where my son brought to my attention that every time he left for work, came home from work on the weekends or stopped by, my car had not moved and I was generally in a t shirt and boxers...

I was like, "yeah so whats your point?" He said, "so you stay home from the time you come home Thursday night, until you go back to work, Tuesday morning.....no people, no going out, no anything?"

I hadn't realized that I'd gotten in the habit of doing so, but I had. Isolation has never bothered me, as long as I have an endless supply of yogurt, apples and Books I could never leave the house. lol But it's not exactly healthy and it does tend to bring the depression around to visit.

That's when I started changing Dr. appts to Fridays and Mondays, or meetings with private clients, haircuts, etc. I make sure I have something to make me get up and out, because once I am, I'm fine, I run errands, meet Kyle for lunch, or Seth if its his weekend to be in town, and do things like go by nurseries to look at plants. Nothing earth shattering exciting, just stuff to keep me from hibernating all weekend.

Complacency has never been my friend.

Take care.

jan, as you would say yourself 'baby steps' and arfie's advice to 'say fuck it and have a cu of tea' made me smile as i hope it did you. I find doing this first makes it easier to get myself out of the house when i need to do something. too much interaction with people overwhelms me so I allow time between events/activites to recover. this week, I have things to do with the car on tuesday, renew my licence, organise paperwork etc. have basal cell carcinoma appoingment in Dublin (8 hour round trip) and pdoc appointment on thursday. I was very anxious at first when i realised all three things were so close together but I know I can get to each thing if i rest in the short times in between. a big sackful of big fat hugs to you to dip into when needed and please dont beat yourself up about this glitch. that is all it is and when you are ready you will get out when you need to and allow yourself to relax in between things. good luck with it. may try going to a nearby cafe first for a short time and have a cup of tea/coffee and then go home again and work forward with something like that. sending you positive energy and all good thoughts.