Kisses - Sorry to hear that you are still having ST. I had them for a long time after my last hospitalization and it took several months for them to disappear. I still have ST every now again. Mainly when I climb the stairs to my workplace. There is a long stairwell that I thought about that each time I climb those stairs I am reminded of the ST. It is just part of my day now.

Kisses, I hope you feel better soon. I hope that the IOT works.

Kisses I'm glad you go back to IOP white knuckling it after a hospital stay is hard to put it mildly. Keep that crochet project at hand at all times!

I've suffered from suicidal thoughts since second grade. The difference is now I know I don't have to act on them. Check on the feeling that my life isn't worth living...One of the times I acted on my feelings and almost didn't make it, I was moved by the people who came up to me for many months after in tears...and I think I mean nothing to no one. You job is not to listen .....

I’m hanging in here. I doubt the thoughts will ever go away. Life has been a constant uphill struggle for me for years.

It’s just that I’ve already done six rounds of IOP and I don’t think that there’s anything else I can get from it. But I need the extra support during the day so that’s why I’m going back

Sending lots of supportive hugs your way. Sorry you are feeling like this. Big ((((hugs))))

I really hope you feel better soon. It's not a good place to be. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for 10 days now. IOP should definitely help, it helped me a lot. Hope you feel better very soon. Did they change your meds in the hospital?

They upped my Zoloft from 25 mg to 100 mg but that’s all they changed.

Hang in there. Going during day to inpatient will give you structure and you'll be around other people.

I just feel so depressed and hopeless. I applied for a few jobs today. I need more than the 6 hours a week my current job is giving me. I can’t live on what I’m currently making even with my disability check.

Good luck on the new job prospects Kisses

Sending more supportive hugs for today. You have been a trooper and you may not even realize how strong you really are with all your perseverance. Have you ever thought about working with mental health in the health care field.... helping with elderly and dementia.... I know it doesn’t pay enough alongside disability. That’s such a stressor and I know how frustrating all this can be... but hang in there. We are rooting for you.

Hi Kisses....sorry the return of st is pulling you back from moving forward to better living. I've been to IOP so many times I can't remember all...what is different and you will experience are the different people who you'll be with...they all bring their experiences and knowledge.

I'm not sure, this is something I thought about you last night....do you think you were a bit manic when going through all the training...using up too much energy and feeling overwhelmed? I'm just throwing this out there cause when I go full force for a period of time, I more often than not have a Huge Crash afterwards.

Also, possible? feeling like you've let yourself down because of not working? Kisses, Not You, it's the illness that makes life hard and stable in work situations. Be gentle with yourself, after being in hospital a period of recovery is needed from the change of returning home...especially since you wrote your family called only.

Best of luck moving forward...slowly...steady movement :)

Big hug for you Kisses...… I hope that you start to feel better soon..... I try to look at this as May does..... I have these thoughts at times as well however I look at them as a symptom of a disorder that I don't have to act on and that there's treatment for..... Another hug.....xo

Thank you all for your support

I'm sry you went through that. I hope you have found a little peace. I'm close to losing it myself.. I taking car of mother n law with severe dementia right now she is nice but she about to get ugly. Brother n law allowed his mom n law to chase his gf off so he quit his job I think mom being there will help him, he wont be in his mind so much but he thinks its Cuz I'm being selfish to get rid of her the fastest but he said yesterday she was going on wed. WTF. The resentment in his eyes tells me all I need to know now to find a way to leave safely find job with bad hips will be hard plz pray for me Cuz tonight the rogues are strong