Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I am so tired of being treated bipolar, like I am catchy, like a horrible person, left alone. My husband dosnt take me out, my mom never calls me now that I have told her about my limlits. I am tired of no friends, and I have continued to keep helping my parents out. I am alone in this. Today was a struggle getting up for a dentist appointment. I dont even care about Thanksgiving. I just am a no-body. I pray everyday for a true friend, someone who is intrested in me. Sometimes I feel like going over the deep end. Sometimes I feel like cutting agian. I feel like smoking, cause no one cares. I am just tired, I want to sleep and sleep. I cant be me. I cant like things or want things. My husband always has to aprove of everything. Even if I want to dye my hair. What the heck can I do? Having false teeth makes me feel old. My clothes are old. I am 50, thats old! I used to think I was kind of pretty, but now... no way. I am tired of crying.
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
Talk to your pdoc to get you into a group.
People don't get BP...they're usually afraid of it. You kind of get used to it and make your own friends with people that "get it".
You are NOT old. I used to think that when I turned 50. It's bull, you can be any age you want. Personally, I feel 26...that's my story and I'm sticking with it!
Hugs to you Angie!!
I hope you get your antidepressants. I was on Lithium for over a year, thinking it was a miracle drug! Then I sunk into a depression and it was time for an AD. It helped SO MUCH!! I had a better outlook on life and I didn't feel hopeless.
Tell you doc what you are feeling...he can help.
So sorry to hear you're in the dumpster today! I've been feeling kind of off to ever since the time change. Seems to happen every year. We got our first little snow this morning. It was so pretty outside that I couldn't help but appreciate the quiet stillness.
Hey .... what's this about 50 being old? Since when sister??? I've got a few years on you but I'm going to go down kicking and screaming if a part of me ever starts believing that I'm old. Sounds like you're overdue for a makeover! Why not treat yourself to a cut & color (of your choice) and a new outfit?
We're here for you. We care and, even better, we understand what you're going through. I hope tomorrow is brighter.
An extremely difficult aspect of living with Bipolar Disorder is keeping friendships and relationships in the long-term. The swings that we experience are not only destructive to ourselves but to those we are closest to. Preserving relationships with the people we care most about requires sacrifice, effort, and understanding from all of the involved parties. The following is a foundation for building an approach to keeping these relationships intact. Much of the advice I provide is distilled to a bare bones approach that I feel anyone can adapt to their lifestyle. Mental illness is a personal experience like no other, thus it requires a personalized management style.
*Educating Both Parties
The first step is to build a foundation of knowledge for both parties. The Bipolar person should wait until they are as level as they can be to prevent perceived slights from exploding.
Bipolar: As a Bipolar, we need to understand how a loved one perceives us while unwell. Are they afraid, uncomfortable, pained? After you level off, you will need to initiate the steps to repair the breach.
Normal: A Bipolar that is in an unwell period is perceiving life through a twisted lens. We react to things in ways that make no sense to anyone but us. The person that you know and love is in there. It may take days or months, but under normal circumstances they will return when in balance.
*Preservation Strategy
On a regular basis, we the Bipolar are left watching the ashes of our personal lives drifting through our fingers. The actions we take while unwell always have greater repercussions through every aspect of our lives. Thus, we should strive to minimize the damage of the flame once it ignites.
Bipolar: Always remind yourself to hear what you are being told. Try to prevent their statements from running away in your mind. I cant give you ten bucks. Doesnt mean anything more than that though it can easily get to That person wont give me ten bucks because they dont love, respect, or care about me. So fuck that mother fucker too! And now youre in a hostile mentality ripe for torching that friendship.
Normal: Be aware that any action or statement you make could get blown out of proportion in the Bipolars mind. However, that does not mean that you are to be a doormat or a victim. When dealing with someone who is unwell, keep your statements short and to the point. If their reaction seems out of sync with what is going on, it is quite likely the Disorder twisted it out of proportion. Stay calm and even. If you cannot, leave the conflict. Step away with something like, Im not sure if you are unwell or not, but I do not feel this conversation is constructive. We will talk about it tomorrow. By doing so, you are not providing fuel to make the situation worse.
*Forgiveness Is All Important
There is no more powerful action than forgiveness. That does NOT mean you should allow yourself to ever be a victim or doormat. Mental illness is not an excuse to treat other people like shit. Yes, we periodically do treat other people terribly, but that does not make it right or acceptable.
Bipolar: Be aware that everyone has certain boundaries that cannot be crossed. In the event that you do, you may very well lose that person or drive them away for good. Should that time come there is not a whole lot you will be able to do. Avoid letting feelings of resentment, anger, or abandonment build. Forgive them. Tell them you understand and let them go. Why? By doing so you are not reinforcing the unwell you in their mind. They are seeing you are a rational, reasonable, understanding person. Their thoughts in the coming days wont be about whatever lunacy you were going through at the time, but be focused more on their last, rational interaction with you.
Normal: Not everyone can handle being around the mentally unwell when they are. You need to identify your limits so you know what is entirely out of bounds. This will help the Bipolar person as well since they may be able to recognize it as a boundary. At some point in time, I took to looking behind a persons actions for motivation before making a judgment. The same thing will help when deciding whether or not to forgive a Bipolar person their slights against you.
For example: Ive been through approximately 25 jobs in the last 15 years or so. While I was with my second ex-Fiancee, I was still without diagnosis. I continued to lose jobs on a regular basis. Instead of coming clean about it, I lied about why I kept losing jobs to her. Now on the surface, one can just look at it and go okay you lied several times, youre a shithead. and in large part Id agree. However, I lied because I knew I had difficulties holding a job and was trying to turn it around. I knew it would affect her clinical depression and I did not want her to be so mad at me that I could not help her get through it. Was it right? No. Would I have handled it that way if I was well? No. Was it what my unwell brain told me was the best approach? Yep.
There are very few simple, clear cut reasons with a Bipolar thought process. If they do not cross your limits, its better to forgive them if you dont understand the thought process they are relating to you.
*Repairing Breaches
To the people that have experienced the pain of losing someone close to them because of their actions, you might find it hard to believe that there is a silver-lining. Going back, apologizing, and repairing the breaches between you and the people you care about can greatly strengthen your relationships. In addition, it will help separate the people that can handle your unwellness from those that cant. You will have to take the step forward though. Embrace whatever humility you have to approach the people you wounded to ask forgiveness.
When I put this idea forward, the first response I usually get is Why should I apologize! Im the one with the mental illness! I understand your frustration. This is not about mental illness, this is about showing remorse for hurting someone you care about. The approach I typically use is as follows:
I apologize for (insert action here) and the effect it had on you. I was in an unwell Bipolar cycle at the time so I was not myself. And I want you to understand, this is not an excuse but a reason. I acknowledge what I did, I know it was not the right thing to do, and to be honest, theres a better than good chance Ill probably end up doing something just as stupid in the future. Thats life with Bipolar Disorder. If you want to forgive me, thats your choice. If not, I understand that too. If I can make it right, I will.
And then I give the person space to think if they need it. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes it takes a few weeks, very rarely do they ever disappear for good.
*A Final Thought
The people in your life that can accept the bullshit we put them through and forgive you are your most valuable allies in your battle for wellness. If they are a person you can trust, their word becomes invaluable while you are unwell. They can be an anchor to what reality actually is. In my case, if I am acting severely out of my mind and someone points it out to me, rather than go out and about and cause the chaos that will come with being unwell; I hole up and ride it out until it passes. Once I rebalance, I get back on the path of whatever it is I was doing. By doing so, I help minimize damage and shorten my unwell periods. The more fuel shoveled in the furnace of mind the longer Im going to burn, right?
Dont hesitate to bring the people you love and care about in your world if you are Bipolar. They already know your different facets. They may not like, agree, or desire the unwell you. But there is a person in there that they value and love, otherwise they wouldnt be putting up with our bullshit. In most cases, the person they love is the well person we are struggling so hard to get to with the therapy, doctors, medication, exercises, and more.
More information is available in my article Effectively Managing A Bipolar Relationship.
This is my other side,
Im not only a Dark One,
As I have a pulsing heart,
For all who care.
The Dark One Darkseed