I have done this at times.... I think that we all have.... When I start to do it now I try and think about how I think of other people and I don't want them to beat themselves up... I want them to be charitable with themselves

Also it can keep us in a bad place and stop us from moving forward... I would try to be a good friend to yourself and do what can help you and not hurt you

You're talking about automatic negative thinking I think.... Are you seeing a therapist or are you able to have a therapist?

Welcome to the board.... This is a good place to come.... xo

I just had a breakup from my first therapist because I just felt that she wasn’t really getting me.I was paying and not getting a lot out of it. I made an appointment with a new one so I am hopeful it will be better. I really like how you framed that about thinking of others. I will try that. Thank you so much.

I hope that your new therapist works out well.... Big hug....xo

Best wishes with the new therapist. I fight hard against things that I feel I have been conditioned to feel. Trying to recognize why and stop the automatic negative thoughts when they appear.

Are u and ur therapist considering meds?

I am on 20mg of latuda. I tried 40 and it gave me that restless feeling so badly.

I’ve done this too but therapy has helped so much. I hope you can find a good therapist soon.

I live in the past a lot. Still have nightmares about the past. I try to remember I here in the present and things have changed since those days. Sure I made some wrong turns and taken some bad advice but that's a part of life. Learning as you go. Big hugs.

Rumination. Classic bipolar symptom - or maybe feature of the condition. We over-feel everything, good and bad. The result is often just what you're describing. We can't ignore the past but it's a waste of time and energy to think about it too much. It'd be nice to just tell ourselves to get over it and get up and moving in the present. If it were only that easy.

I agree with looking at your meds and re-evaluating them. It can take a lot of experimenting with different ones to get the right balance.
Personally, I'm on 200 mg of Lamictal which doesn't entirely eliminate the depression, just keeps it from being so deep when it does happen.
But I also need Bupropion to keep me up and it does wonders but if I'm not disciplined with it I can get really down before I know it.
I tried Latuda but I don't do well at all with any anti-psychotics and get that restless feeling BIG TIME. It's called "akathesia" and it sucks so bad. Makes me want to crawl out of my own skin just to get relief.

BIG HUGS MOONK2021!