Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Scared of depressive/suicidal relapse

calder29
calder29

Yesterday I freaked myself out that I will relapse into a severe depressive/suicidal episode.


recently left inpatient hospitalization (one week stay) after I deemed myself unsafe and needing more help. This was after a 6 week depressive episode.


i am stable and working on improving everyday. I have a routine, and I’m working towards going back to work in November.


everyone is saying that I am improving and seem so much better than I was...I of course don’t really see it except shrug and say, “ well I’m not suicidal so that’s a good thing”


I’m scared of a relapse though. My husband has already said that our marriage can’t take it. Part of me doesn’t want to seem happy and “perfect” again because when I fall, it’ll be so much worse. Sarcasm and walls have always been my armor. But I’m scared to even be sad as he will perceive it as me being depressed or “mental”


Any advice? I’m new to being bipolar so I’m still at a loss :(

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug.... One day at a time.... That's all that we have anyway..... If your marriage is having some problems maybe some couples therapy

If you start having any symptoms call your doc for an appt... Adjustments can always be made

I would work on other coping skills..... gratitude journal... journal=ling to vent.... feeling gratitude.... exercise.... meditation or mindfulness... grounding techniques

You can look some of these up.... They're available on google..... Big hug and deep breaths

Don't borrow trouble sweetie.... We have a treatable disorder. and you're receiving treatment....xo
mlr0853
mlr0853
Hi and Welcome....very sorry to read of the past and current pain you are living. BP is a hard nut to crack to find the right medications in order to keep balanced. Yes, the highs do go down into the lows....one thing you can focus on is that you are being "proactive" with a routine which is Huge in recovery and awareness which can help prevent set backs.

As for hubby, it's hard to see a loved one who 'looks ok' and have so much going on 'inside'......kind of like a duck on a beautiful lake so calm, under the water the webbed feet are going like crazy to move.

A therapy called DBT(Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) https://positivepsychology.com/dbt-dialectical-behavior-therapy/ was my saving Grace....not easy, takes lots of time and practice, but in the end there have been huge rewards in my life.

This is a book that might help your husband understand more about BP and be better able to cope. https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192

I do hope you will also find the time to be kind to yourself, no doubt this too will be a challenge, each day spend some time giving yourself Calm. Atm, I'm listening to this as I too have been in a really bad place for the last month or so with Huge Stress....I hope it helps :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkM-FjfN6Mc

Also, I use the journal to help me write out my feelings and thoughts to clarify....I do find insights and have the support of friends....Very Good Friends!
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady
Sorry for your difficult days you’re dealing with - keep going along as best you can. I think when you don’t have a supportive and understanding spouse it can make the struggle much more difficult..... I have experienced that and it was a very hard time in my life. It helps in those circumstances to identify other folks (like support groups) who can be an alternate place. I did a lot of therapy groups and drop in groups And though my husband back then didn’t really like all that stuff, I did it anyway. Sending lots of strength your way.
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