Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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so yesterday - i know this isnt the exact forum to post, but why the hell not because i like this community i feel safe here and i want to share my experience with somebody !!!
so yesterday me and a group of friends took this 2-meo-dalt a tryptomine pschedelic drug that is quite new and quite experimental. for my first trip experience apparently this is quite a weird one to go with but it was absolutely amazing.
we took it at 4.30pm in wentwood ( a forest near us ) and we had a hut and a little sitting down area where we put a blanket and some music and we made a fire. at about 5pm jess started to come up and stood up, then it hit her and she started twsiting out (in a good way) then as though like contagiously spread through the air we all became tripped after her, me and my friend mia were last to come up but it was great when we did.
i stood in this open space looking at the sky focusing on things i'd never thought to look at before, that twig, so beautiful and red ? and then it felt like time had moved so far and that i'd been staring for long. my hands feel detatched from my body like they werent mine i felt like i'd fallen down a hole and everyone was so far away. but so close. the birds twitered in my ear and it felt like they were right inside my head, only it felt empty and peaceful in my head, but rushed and chaotic at the same time.
i sat down for a while, when the others went off to vomit because they felt ill (common side affect) i didnt' however. i stared at the fire, seeing all the twisty yellow and orange and black flames licking around eachother holding hands with their firey tongues flicking at me like snakes, it was odd but i didnt feel disturbed only interested.
they came back laughing, we all huddled together laughing about the thoughts in our head and i seemed to be on a telepathic level with everyone, we didnt even need to speak it's as though we all shared the same train of disjointed thoughts.
every thought span into the next and every meaning of that last thought seemed to come into reality. i bit into some chocolate and it felt like mud in my mouth so i spat it out.
it started to go darker and colder but it still felt like morning inside my mind and i felt like i'd opened up a door to a new life outside of this ordinary existance, seeing things that only the trained eye could ever think to see. i went for a pee behind the tree. and saw loads of ants marching up the bark, i looked at them for ages fascinated, then i was stood in their nest.
the pee was strange. i saw the steam coming off and floating into the air, i saw every particle of my pee spraying onto the leaves and grass around, it was madness.
theres more but i cant even begin to explain the wonders of yesterdays adventure....best part is though :) i've got more to see and more to feel and more to enlighten myself with.
i just feel at peace :)
(SORRY ITS SO LONG) xxxxx
so yesterday me and a group of friends took this 2-meo-dalt a tryptomine pschedelic drug that is quite new and quite experimental. for my first trip experience apparently this is quite a weird one to go with but it was absolutely amazing.
we took it at 4.30pm in wentwood ( a forest near us ) and we had a hut and a little sitting down area where we put a blanket and some music and we made a fire. at about 5pm jess started to come up and stood up, then it hit her and she started twsiting out (in a good way) then as though like contagiously spread through the air we all became tripped after her, me and my friend mia were last to come up but it was great when we did.
i stood in this open space looking at the sky focusing on things i'd never thought to look at before, that twig, so beautiful and red ? and then it felt like time had moved so far and that i'd been staring for long. my hands feel detatched from my body like they werent mine i felt like i'd fallen down a hole and everyone was so far away. but so close. the birds twitered in my ear and it felt like they were right inside my head, only it felt empty and peaceful in my head, but rushed and chaotic at the same time.
i sat down for a while, when the others went off to vomit because they felt ill (common side affect) i didnt' however. i stared at the fire, seeing all the twisty yellow and orange and black flames licking around eachother holding hands with their firey tongues flicking at me like snakes, it was odd but i didnt feel disturbed only interested.
they came back laughing, we all huddled together laughing about the thoughts in our head and i seemed to be on a telepathic level with everyone, we didnt even need to speak it's as though we all shared the same train of disjointed thoughts.
every thought span into the next and every meaning of that last thought seemed to come into reality. i bit into some chocolate and it felt like mud in my mouth so i spat it out.
it started to go darker and colder but it still felt like morning inside my mind and i felt like i'd opened up a door to a new life outside of this ordinary existance, seeing things that only the trained eye could ever think to see. i went for a pee behind the tree. and saw loads of ants marching up the bark, i looked at them for ages fascinated, then i was stood in their nest.
the pee was strange. i saw the steam coming off and floating into the air, i saw every particle of my pee spraying onto the leaves and grass around, it was madness.
theres more but i cant even begin to explain the wonders of yesterdays adventure....best part is though :) i've got more to see and more to feel and more to enlighten myself with.
i just feel at peace :)
(SORRY ITS SO LONG) xxxxx
Now I wouldn't though I see things with out drugs now. Demons and such. I'm afraid of what I might see if I used drugs.
There are pretty things I see but they are twice as evil and cunning as the ugly demons. You have to be aware of them. Don't ever look them in the eye, and pretend you didn't see a thing. If they notice that you notice them they will follow you around for days and cause problems.
What scares me more is to think they could be real and not just a hallucination. One time my sisters boyfriend saw a shadow demon crossing the street at the same time as me. I had to ask every one if they just saw that and he said yes he did. So why are others seeing my hallucinations?
Well I'd rather believe they aren't real and I'm just crazy.
i did this because i DONT know myself. x
The vomiting also sounds like impurities cut into the drug. That is what is killing ecstasy users. I remember the same thing - cutting drugs to make them go farther. Dreadful side effects. Not a good thing.
As for induced psychosis, I prefer to be straight. I have taken enough meds to keep me normal. Don't think we should glorify drugs. And I am sure there are many that would agree.
i have an open mind and this was not induced psychosis.
i also am aware that these experiences will not make me become anymore intelligent (perhaps less so) im also aware that i am probably delusional when i talk of discovery of new things, only im young and free and why should i not glorify my positive experience ?
people smoke cigarettes and enjoy that.
people go out and have a bevvy.
and this drug was legal btw so =) i didnt even break any law ! :D
I think this guy has the right idea about "getting loaded" :)
be aware of dealers some of them cut their drugs with deadly things like rat poison and house hold cleaning products.
Some times this is what actually kills drug addicts not the drug it's self. This is still labeled as and overdose most of the time even though it's technically being poisoned to death. Well I guess you can consider it that either way.
I wasn't feeling pressured believe me. I wouldn't mess with drugs any more, that chapter of my life is closed.
I just remember wanting to try psychedelics as a teen. I never did though.
I messed with crack and heroin in my mid 20's now I regret it. I blame drugs for my mental illness and other problems. I wasn't like this before the drugs.
I used them to escape reality but reality always catches up with you in the end.
=)