hi hun did you leave a message on his dads number l would just in case especilay if he doesn't know your number for emergencies, your b/f could well be in la la land but even if and its a huge if he has dumped you you need to know or else you'll worry. Apart from that you need to be patient and wait for him or his dad to contact you l'm guessing a lot of grovelling on his part any day now....

Wow, take care of yourself!

How worrisome!!!! I hope you hear from him soon and that everything is all right! You must be out of your mind with wondering what's going on!
Take good care!

I don't know, do you really want a man who does coke and heroin and acid and goes on benders. Sounds like some serious red flags to me. You should not have to put up with that shit.

Hi Sweetie. This is coming from a recovering coke addict: when you are "out there" using, you don't care about anyone or anything. Now, I have never done heroin, but from the people I've met that have, they say it is like nothing else they have ever experienced. It pulls you in and wont let you out of its grasp.
My advice to you is, while you worry, continue to live your life. I have been the addict and been on the other side..dating an addict. You WILL hear from him again. Dont make yourself sick over it in the meantime. He will do things in his good time...addicts are selfish by nature. Take care of you, so that no matter what, you'll be ok.

If I were you, I'd forget him and take care of yourself. No one needs to be around people that are distrructive like that....Just my opinion.

Being a clean addict I know the disapparing act well but being a beeper I know also that when I hit the wrong side of manic I used to disappear and wake up weeks later 3 or 4 states away without clue 1 of how I got where I was. If he is using and out on a bender I hate to say it but yeah until he can put you before the drugs its better than you live your life without him but make sure thats truly the reason behind his disappearance before doing anything drastic

You have been given some really good advice, the one thing that I would like to mention, is if you really love this guy, and want a future with him, then you should make at least 30 AA and Alanon meetings, switch between the two, but do at least 30. If you seriously love this guy you will do this. Not only does it give you insight as to what we go through as addict's, but it also teaches us how to take care of our-selves when they do go on their benders. Nothing happens unless something happens. I am an ex-junkie, and I know that I use to go on benders for weeks, and not care about anyone or anything. And would wake up in places not even knowing how I got there. So no, I was not going to lower myself and let the people I love see me like that. I was hiding from them, for real, HIDING! ! ! Sorry to tell you this, but it is not you! It is his addiction, now, if you want to get to the fact of the matter, what is Love? Well, LOVE IS AN ADDICTION TO ANOTHER PERSON. So now your lost without the other half of you. Having an addiction is having a dis-ease. Now if he were dying of cancer, would you stand over him and scream at him? I think not, well, he has a cancer, known as drug addiction. It can take the best of us down, but if you are going to stay in this relationship, he will come back when you stop looking for him. You see then he will be scared that he has lost the power, so, curiosity will send him back packing. So as soon as you give him to God and learn to take care of yourself, I promise you, he will show up. Because if he Loves you, that is his other Addiction, so he will have no choice but to seek you out and give you an excuse, if he is like the most of us addicts. Now, the only thing that you can do is to take care of yourself, and pray, pray, pray. God can move mountains, and split oceans, so do you not think that he can help Andrew? I believe he can, he can do all things if only we ask him. Give him to God, he already belongs to God, he is just on loan to you! Do you understand that? And I would have to be asking myself, is this really the way I want to spend the rest of my life, and why do I not believe that I am better than to have someone disrespect me that way? Our lives is like a movie, we can make it a horror flick, or a love story, but we have to do the work. Please go to the Alanon meetings, and meet some people there that have been in there for years, I am sure, once you start to go, you will find someone there that is telling you your story, just different people, but the same disease. Well God Bless, and I Pray God will grant you the Sernity to Accept the things you cannot change, The Courage to change the things you can, And the Wisdom to know the difference. If we just ask, we will recieve. God Bless, and if you every need someone to talk too, just add me as a friend, or write to me, and I will be glad to help you out in anyway that I can. And lastly, remember without me, there can be NO WE ! UNDERSTAND? Lots of Love, Kase@dailystrength. org. (((HUGS)))

He's lived how long w/o need of his mother care & w/o your assistance. I assume he can take care of his self. Ya he'll be a winner of a disappearing abusive daddy. now that's food for thought.
Abuse is just that abuse.
sounds like you have an apt a job and everything to look forward to. why oh why would you hitch your wagon to an anchor that will only pull you down! Don't serve others as being a mooring or a port to be used.
Life is meant to enjoy in peace.
Get on w your life,. get on living life to it's fullest.
You have so much to give to your community. enjoy your friends. make new friend. do things that you like. take classes on line or at tech., volunteer,take up a hobby, feed the children that go hungry daily in US, etc... I donate $2.000 yr to local school for food program for children who go w/o at home. My dear friend & I collect children coats,gloves and boots for certain school for those who need better than they have.

I pray that your Man is in rehab or is just being a topical jerk.

Surmising is endless and useless. it is unhealthy.

Take care & be good to yourself for yourself and your family & friends & co workers & us on DS.

So sorry to hear what is going on with you.
I agree with jean, you don't need to be with a self destructive person like him. Take care of you and things will all work themselves out, you deserve so much better hon. :)

I go to Alanon but I don't like everything they say. I hear spouses of addicts saying if it wasn't for Alanon, they would not be still be married to the alcohollic. I totally disagree on using Alanon to make you stay with the alcoholic. They also say you need to work the steps first before you make a decision to leave the alcoholic. I totally disagree with that to. My therapist feels that being married to an active alcoholic/ addict is totally unhealthy.

Im sorry to see you are going through such a painful and frightening ordeal.
I hope he is safe!
If he is using I hope you will soon know and I think you have been given some great advise here
Bless you

Thanks for the advice guys, I really appreciate it.

But.... my stomach is going CRAZY!

I just went on Facebook and I checked his profile to see if there was any activity and there hasn't been for a week now.

Well there is today! Two hours ago he posted a picture and his new status is "Must have gotten lost"

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!??! I'm glad to know he's alive and everything but why isn't he contacting me?!

And the picture is of like mountains in the desert somewhere... where is he?!?!

I'm still so worried and hurt I can't stand it.

I'm in physical pain.

looks like he's ok and gone wandering while on drugs give him a day or two to come back home but he should have phoned you or sent you an email

Well I'm glad he is ok! That is a relief. Now at least you can take it from here. I'm sure he will contact you eventually. He's got somu splainin to do!