might this be bipolar 2 hypomania hyper sexuality?

2 years ago, I found out my wife had sex with 8 different men over the period of 15 months. she was diagnosed w ADHD 5 months after disclosure.

I spend lots of time on infidelity forums online , but ive yet to read any story that comes close to mine. the only story that ive read that is similar deals w a wife who was suffering from Bipolar Hypersexuality.

we have been to many different individual therapists, and a marriage counselor. two therapists have told us that my wife is “not a sex addict, because she doesn’t fit the profile, and that she is not bipolar, not borderline, nor a sociopath”.

thing is, no story I have read regarding serial cheating, multiple affairs, types of affairs, etc….fits our story.

the only stories I have read that really fit, are those that deal w bipolar hypersexuality

there was a lot of stress prior to her before she began acting out sexually. she moved around between lots of jobs, decided to go back to school, got another job, quit that, got another job,

We had been trying to conceive for years, and she was finally pregnant. we had twins, and she quit her job when they were 8 months old or so, to stay home and take care of them. lot of stress. during the same time , the first 5 years of our kids life, I had to have multiple operations which kept me out of commission and on daily pain killers.

we drifted apart and didn’t realize it as we were focused on being parents, not on being a couple. sex dwindled to 5 times in 5 years. we didn’t communicate and we didn’t share our sadness about the state of affairs with one another.

she was only diagnosed w ADHD 6 months post dday, so there were a lot of things she would say and do that would alienate people, friends, family and me.

she lost lots of frienships due to her undiagnosed adhd as well.

I think I shut down emotionally, and I think she did as well. at one point in the summer right before she started the hypersxual behabior, she gave me the I love you but I am not in Love with you speech. she goes away w a friend of hers, and has first text contact w her first AP affair partner. she comes home and she is a changed person. we end up having sex 55 times in 60 days.

hell, I think we both became hypomanic and hyperexual. I remem ber bathing my kids one evening , and all of sudden that hypersex feeling I had for the past 2 months just stopped…. unbeknownst to me, my wife was just getting started, and moved on to a second guy, and after that started hunting guys down on craigslist and Ashley Madison.

she would text the 1st guy daily thru out the entire 15 months of hypersexual behavior. she’d masterbatre often, watch porn, even had an orgasm with no physical touching at one point after watching porn, then texted the 1st guy, who then facetimed her, and they masterbated for one another .

she says that it was a “high”.

she says it never was the actual sex being the hit, but the hit and high was the hunting, pursuing, texting, sexting, dressing, getting ready to go out and meet up, it was all the lead up, and while it always ended in sex, she says it wasn’t the sex that was the rush….it was everything leading up to the sex….

it was the way she felt from the things the guys texted her or said to her….they way she would dress up to be noticed, even if was going out to the store. she was glued to her phone…the first guy, she texted daily for 15 months…. he was also encouraging her and her bff to hookup w men…. she said she never climaxed w any of the guys, and that it wasn’t the pursuit of an orgasm that drove her to solicit these guys….. still not sure what it was…. or how to diagnose.

some of my therapists have cautioned me to let go of the need to DSM and diagnose it, because there may never be an answer. ive read definitions of the 5 or 6 or 7 types of affairs, and hers don’t match up with them. when I read the story of folks who suffered thur hypersexuality due to biplor…. thats when I read things and think ..”ah ha….this sounds much more of a fit”