I'm not sure what all this weirdness is. No one said anything about all men over 40 being perverts. But it's true that there are lots of them who friend you like a bolt out of the blue. You don't even know who they are nor have you seen them on any forums you Actually visit!

We aren't talking about the 40+ members that aren't behaving this way. Why is this even relevant to the discussion? It's not.

Now you're telling her to just be stupid and friend people she doesn't even know? Especially if their profile is private they've done nothing to prove who they are or given any reason for you to trust them. There's no requirement to do such a thing now you're just bullying some one into doing something they aren't required to do. Why? Are you going to take personal responsibility when some one harasses her because she took your advice to be so open minded that she now just opens her self up and trusts any one?

And it IS creepy behavior. If you can find any evidence that supports it's not then supply it. Other wise you are just high jacking a thread and detracting for the topic.

If it wasn't about you then stop taking it personally. It was probably just a coincidence if you think this was you. You don't even know how many times this has happened to her or me or any other women. You have no right to discredit our experience.

If this really was a safe world with only trust worthy men then things would be different. But that's not reality. If you want to friend any one you're free to do it but stop trying to twist some one's arm into doing something that's not right for them.

And then making them feel like an asshole for using wisdom.

I admit that I finally DID change my Avi for just this reason!! But I didn't feel like I was forced into doing it and didn't mind doing it at all. And I've been thinking about putting it back up and may choose to do that at some future point.

But I know one thing. The number of friend requests I get from men is going to go WAY up, if I do!! But that's okay!!! Some of them have turned out to be really fun friends on here and are never inappropriate in their behavior!!!!!

When I get a friend request from anyone, male or female, I always go check out their profile first. And one of the things I check is their friend list.

The male requests who have nothing but pretty young girls as friends and whose hugs are the least bit suggestive, I just decline. Sometimes, it isn't until AFTER I accept them that I realize they just want to hit on me. When that happens, I just send them a one liner message saying that I don't think we're looking for the same thing and then I defriend them. I usually get a last message from them saying 'No problem'. (Plenty more women where *I* came from, I'm sure, LOL!!!!)

That usually happens when their profile is set to private as I always accept 'profile private' friends. I always reserve the right to dump them right away, LOLOL!!!!

In my case, I'm usually older than them. And that's usually the first thing they want to talk about -- how I look much younger than I am. I know what I look like. I have no interest in discussing it. And maybe being older is the reason that I don't really have strong feelings about men wanting to be friends merely because they're attracted to me. I don't consider them perverts. I categorize them as being shallow. Perhaps if I was half the age I am now, I would find them quite creepy.

Once in a great while, I get a very young male specifically looking for an older woman. I won't go so far as to call them perverts, but I'd say that they might be considered fetishists.

I have learned from being online for many years that there are quite a few young women who are only attracted to much older men. (Does that make them perverts, too? I guess it would, at least as much as the men who prefer much younger women.) So I guess a lot of those who are hooking up as online friends are both getting what they're looking for.

Ha!!!! I don't think you should accept any friends you don't feel comfortable about just in case they're not creeps!!!! If you don't like the 'looks' of them, don't take them on as friends!!! You don't owe them a chance!!!!

I wonder how many more people out there -- both men and women -- are LYING about how old they are!!!! Maybe some of those 40 year old men are really 60!!!! And how many women might be pretending to be younger!!! Or vice versa, for whatever reasons!!!

(By the way, for a good time, friend CarlaBent. LOL!!!!)

I repeat, why can't you just ignore them and not accept friend request's if you are so "grossed"?

Do you even read the replys Doorknob??

For the fourth time - Why can't you just ignore them and not accept friend request's?

Geez for the first time, why don't you just chill out??!!

You obviously don't relate, get over it and move on.

Sooooooo........anybody wanna play a word game? :)

Grenadine, if you are so concerned about predators then please make your profile private. Pretty simple.

Ya I would love to do that, any chance you could tell me how?

Changing my avatar too when I can.

I agree great debate aside from the uglyness!

I can read quite well thanks and I've read whats been said several times. I'm not at all confused about what was said.

I could accuse quite a few people of not being able to read myself. Nothing was male bashing and no one insulted half the board. Half the board just took it that way and ran with it.

Now people are making this something that it never was.

I'm tired of the people who think they can just throw a temper tantrum and get their way all the time. It gets really old.

No one is forcing you to agree with anything and repeating your self over and over again isn't making more of a point then it was last time it was said. If you don't like that this thread is still going then stop reading it or responding.

And I'm not even angry so please stop projecting on me. I always get accused of being angry or attacking when it's very clear that I wasn't they just didn't like what I had to say. The CL's know they can PM me any time and tell me if I did something wrong. I will take a look at it.

on the left hand side below "Edit Status" you'll see "My Profile" with the edit option. You can do it there.

Thank you!

And doorknob thank you and I love you!

I've got love for this whole group regardless!

I'm 46 and the whole freind thing is just that. Think about it, I'm old with an Autistic son,Arthritis, and BP. I need a friend more than the whole perv thing. However if you have any older friends you want to box up and post to Scotland then I may send you a jelly baby and a fluffy bonbon I just found in my old jacket.

I haven't found much trouble here. There was only ONE email that made me wonder, and I think that maybe the guy is just kind of like me--sort of desperate for friends.

If I figure that a guy is a perv, then I will defriend them.

I have about I think what--5 guys friends?..........I'm not sure..........

There is one whom I don't relate to well because he's a super-intellect and he's also more like a movie actor, so I tend to leave him alone out of respect..........

There is one who is ultra safe and is very proper.......I also don't talk to him much either............

There is another who is always upset................

There is one who keeps me on the list but won't speak to me much..........

There is one who is the partner of another friend of mine......'-D

And then there are two who are really good friends who help me navigate the tough waters of my life..............

And one who is a staunch Catholic whom I just sort of let "talk" as it were............

But most of my guy friends seem *okay* to me.

I have not read all of the replies.

I agree that an adult creeping around with the teens is horrible and should be stopped. I hope they stop that soon.

I am sitting here wondering when 40 became old. I'm 41 and definately not old. I have friends that are much younger than me and older on here.

I am not an ageist so I don't have a problem with young adults being friends or even dating older adults.

I have a son who is almost 15. If at age 25 he wants to date or even marry a 50yo woman that would be their business not mine. I would never date or marry with that large of a gap but that is just me.

My beliefs are basically to leave two consenting adults alone.