Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I usually have a low self esteem, I definitely feel that I am worthless...
I know this is because of the illness. Before the diagnosis, well before the BP started, I was normal happy and innocent. Now, I am a shameful battered old woman.
I'm ashamed of what I am. I feel like a monster because of how I was off meds. I feel like an idiot most if the time, I have no ambition, no real goals.
And when I was off meds, I was raped three times and taken advantage of after the first time it happened because I felt no worth and was such, such a mess. Because of all that I feel all used up. Like I'm no good anymore.
Now I have all these side effects.
I am not in good shape right now, emotionally,, or ever. I always have anxiety and self loathing. I call myself ugly and fat all the time.
Could I have more issues?
Am I alone?
I know this is because of the illness. Before the diagnosis, well before the BP started, I was normal happy and innocent. Now, I am a shameful battered old woman.
I'm ashamed of what I am. I feel like a monster because of how I was off meds. I feel like an idiot most if the time, I have no ambition, no real goals.
And when I was off meds, I was raped three times and taken advantage of after the first time it happened because I felt no worth and was such, such a mess. Because of all that I feel all used up. Like I'm no good anymore.
Now I have all these side effects.
I am not in good shape right now, emotionally,, or ever. I always have anxiety and self loathing. I call myself ugly and fat all the time.
Could I have more issues?
Am I alone?
Just wanna say sorry...and it will get better. Or at least that's what they tell me.
I don't know if you ever forget your past. I've experienced physical, emotional and sexual abuse in my youth and I remember it all. I think it becomes more of an issue of making peace with it than forgetting it, recognizing the damage and hurt that it caused but finding ways to continue to grow and not let it hinder you. Easier said than done yes, but that's something I strongly believe in.
Voltaire, I think making peace with your past is the best way to go. My current status on that is.... I have a very hard time with forgiveness... forgiving myself, forgiving others... I think that has a part to do with making peace with something, forgiveness.
The trick is not to dwell on our anger towards. them, but let that go and keep the caution and wariness and avoid them if possible.
I did find revenge fantasies to be helpful though!