i wish i could do that, very cool

Dark, that poem was good but so sad. I'm sorry you were in that dark place.

Her gaze flitters as she glances about the room.
All seems the same as it once was, she thinks.
Gliding across the shredded carpet,
Her attention Drawn to the winding stairwell.

She is seven years old, sliding down
The smooth, freshly polished banisters.
She had won the race.
Her cousins start to grumble as they admitted defeat.
Her little mind is ever so exultant,
From the adrenalin of breaking the rules.
Climbing the stairs again,
She never wants the game to end.

She blinks, taken aback by the strength of the flashback.
She knows it could have been far worse.
As many good memories, there were just as many bad.
She thinks of how, at Grandmas house,
The same thing ever happened twice.
A heavy sigh escapes her nostrils.
She turns to leave the beaten, empty home,
But catches an unbearable urge to run up the stairs,
To the attic, to bury herself,
In the moth eaten remains of her past.

Stuff I wrote at my last hospital stay (Feb)....


Windows of opportunity left open for spring
Never take the plunge always left wondering
Doors open and close so many times
Only taking the risk proves there's more inside
Right places, right faces and time can really make the means
Is that really what stops us from taking the risk?

--------------------------------------------------

Meaning of life
Living with meaning
Living with reason
Reason of living
the meaning of life

Cursed Blessing

Surrounded by thousands,
loneliness threatens to choke
out your precious life force.
It loudly makes its presence known-
to you, and to all surrounding you,
creating a suppressive blanket
with no air and with no relief.

You long to reach out-
to touch another human being,
to feel the warmth of contact,
to know that somehow,
you are connected to someone else-
no matter to ridicule,
no matter the cost-
just so that SOMEONE knows
that you are there,
standing in the middle of their chatter
wrapping you in a stifling blanket
of their own making.

Though by now,
you know that this is pointless-
they know just what they do,
just where they stand
how else would they know to throw that can?
Throw that punch?
Hurl those words?
at what they pronounce as wasted space,
wasted earth, and wasted air

You long to see what others see,
yet though nothing blocks your sight
you cannot see what they can see,
you cannot see as they can see,
for your mind is blocking you
from being just like them
and driving you insane.

For when you glimpse
a picture hanging above
you proclaim what you see,
full of wonder, full of awe,
it radiates throughout your tone.
The others just hiss,
laugh, point at you for your voice,
claim that you are wrong,
you are confused.

They say,
so certain, so proud:
You dont see what it is,
right there, in front of you-
you are blind, deaf and dumb!

Bowing down your head,
you slowly slink away,
the crowd is breaking up,
knowing that they have won
yet again and yet, they seem
not to realize, as they leave
they still take away your
breathe of life you so desperately want.

Shadows close in,
frightening you,
worrying you,
certain soon you will suffocate,
yet certain too that it is all in your mind.

Noises grow louder,
and then louder still,
echoing all around,
till you want to shrink and scream.
Can no one else hear
the thunder booming all around-
deafening?-
Yet, you keep silent,
knowing no one else can hear
what you can hear.

Alone
You are ALONE,
seeing what you
only see,
hearing what you
only hear,
smelling,
tasting,
feeling,
what you only
smell,
taste,
feel.

How long have you wished upon a star?
Whatever happened to dreaming means achieving?
Hard work means rewards later on?


AUTISM happened and stole away
the promise handed out
to all but you and a few
when their first birthdays came around.
Empty, your are entitled
to no dreams,
no wishes upon a star.

Autism envelops you,
crowds out reason,
even sanity at times.

Autism leaves no visible marks-
just scars and wounds buried deep.

Autism allows you zero normalcy,
no ability to read the same
as other read
what is written upon the masses of faces.

Autism changes your vision,
you never know what you see
is really true.

Autism changes your hearing,
so what you hear
is a thousand and one times louder
yet sometimes you cannot hear at all.

Autism changes everything,
even what you feel.

Autism means that you never know
if what you see,
what you hear,
what you smell,
what you taste,
what you feel,
is real and true,
or false and unreality filled.


Yet, Autism is a gift in disguise,
all the obstacle
fought with your very soul-
fought against for your life-
all the contradictions,
what you faced down,
day after day,
allows a freedom-
a freedom no one else knows,
no one else realizes.

Once you have embraced Autism,
Autism envelopes you
in a different sort of world-
one where nothing is as it seems,
allowing you thoughts,
allowing you ideas,
no one else has dared
to have before you.

Autism may leave no visible marks,
just the scars buried deep,
but you can round up
all that pain,
all that turmoil,
to help others see
just what you see.

Autism allows no normalcy-
but why should you care?
For in this world-
full of insanity,
in this place of contradiction,
Autism allows you
the escape,
the freedom,
available to only a special few:
those labeled different,
those labeled weird,
those labeled nerds,
those labeled AUTISTIC!!

Good work, Dark!

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You made me happy when you were sane.

Singing to me, in that little coffee shop,
I wanted you to continue singing forever.
I was lost to the people around us as your voice rang in my tiny ears.

Your voice was my foundation, a solid rock never to be chipped.
Your smile was my heart-beat, keeping me afloat in the big and scary world.

But now, your smile is a flickering, dying flame.
But now, your heart-beats are counted.

We dreamed of traveling over every inch of the earth.
We dreamed sky scrapers and lion tamers, always a part of the action.
We dreamed of a life that never will be, a life worth living.

Youre still my sunshine,
Please dont take that away.

Thank you....I try to use my poetry as a way to exercise my demons.

Shlay...finally got through yours...yours is beautifully written. Great imagery :)

Same here, Dark.

You
Snuck into my heart
Grabbed it
Loved me, then
Ripped it out
and left me here
Trying to stem the bleeding
and patch it up
and soldier on living
without you.
Were your words of love
and depth and passion
ever true
or just lies to suck me in
I will never know.
Fuck off, and
I will always love you.

Not very poetic but I only got dumped last night and its still raw. Will do a better one soon. Great post, great poems everyone.

One more lol...never have a chance to share my poetry!

Dont Save Me

A ghost like figure
comes closer to me
in my dreams,
stares deeply into my eyes,
down into my soul,
where no one dares
to tread because of
the nightmares that lurk.

The ghost like figure
touches me, with
cold dead fingers,
blood stained,
from cuts so deep
they go to her soul.

I wake, only to realize
that scared, bloody
dead ghost like figure
is who I am turning
out to be.

For I am slowly dying
though on the outside
I may be smiling,
I cannot stop the process.

Nor do I want to.

I want to disappear,
I want my shattered soul
to go home once and
for all, where there is
no pain, no suffering.

I have suffered too long,
I have suffered too much,
so dont try and save me,
I am beyond help.

Just forgive me for
what I am about to do,
please, just forgive me.

What is this pain I feel
That takes hold of me
From time to time.
A blackness that engulfs me.
Hollow from the inside.

Yet sometimes it just seems,
Like it never happened.
I glide among my peers,
With wit and charm.
Like I belong.

The weeks flow among the rest.
When a voice turns.
Thats not right.
What you did the other day.
My confusion begins.

Chaos burns.
As I struggle and fall.
Just trying to stay ahead.
Just trying to stay a float.
Until I wake.

Shadows of what I have done.
The mistakes I have found.
Beyond the expected norm.
The faces always talk.
The blame is directed towards me.

As I sink and think.
About why Im like this.
Thoughts become dark.
Light doesnt shine anymore.
I realise Im alone.

What is this pain I feel
That takes hold of me
From time to time.
A blackness that engulfs me.
Hollow from the inside.

Here's a quatrain I wrote for my aunt who was always sending me her poetry and who had lived in Alaska...

Anyone can write a poem
In the comfort of their home,
Send it to a shop in Nome
And have it published in a tome.

copyright tommymott

Awesome everyone!