Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

It's probably just a phase. Plus goth is going out of 'style' so they'll probably get over it quickly. Just keep an eye out for the important stuff.

Thanks......Should the husband know his step daughter thinks she's goth? He told her if he caught her trying to be that he'd ground her.

If she starts dressing in all black, he'll know anyway.

Geez you guys need some real problems with kids.....just be glad that she isn't into alcohol, booze or dating some guy that is way older than she is. Dressing up goth is not a biggy. A lot of kids go through a phase of experimentation. I remember when I first started as a teacher the big thing in our high school was body piercings. Just relax and let her express herself. It's part of growing up.

Well he bought her this black rock on shirt for Christmas and it's a skull themed boys shirt with a skull hand on it thinking it was a harmless present and he bought her a black nintendo DS with a cartoonish skull themed skin. But doesn't know that she has this type of attitude that she thinks she's one of them.....IF he knew he'd discontinue her having any more things with black or skull themed. I think he's promoting it.....but if he knew he was I think he'd probably stop......I wonder if I am becoming too paranoid.

Thanks artemis....ail advice is appreciated.

Her idea of goth (dressing in black and trying to look bored) isn't the same idea that we adults have of goth. To kids it's just about trying to figure out who they are. Trying to squash that can make them react even more and then it's a spiral.

Worry if she starts smoking, till then- they probably just see it as cool and different.

She'll probably just rebel against you if you hold her back in some way, so the best thing to do would probably be over-supportive - even enthusiastic ;)

Dress as a goth for a few days yourself and she'll be put off the idea, as she'll associate the goth look with you, her mum, rather than with her friends (embarrassing for her), and it'll put her off for good :)

Just tell her you looked into the goth look on the net and you like it yourself.

Just prepare your ears for some good old heavy music lol ;)

In my experience, goth is merely an expression of wanting to be different and to stand out from the crowd. My son went through a goth period, a raver period and also was involved in going to the cult movie classic "Rocky Horror Picture Show".

I let him express himself as he saw fit as long as he wasn't a danger to himself or to others. He's now 26, has a 2 year old son, and is a very responsible adult. I'm very proud of him. I think if I or his step-father had made a big deal of the means he used to "find himself", things might have turned out a lot different.

A word of advice from one parent to another. Pick your battles. Decide what's worth fighting for and stick to your guns. Let the little stuff slide. How are they going to learn to trust their choices in life as adults if we never let them make any and let them live with the consequences of their choices?

I'm not saying to give an 11 year old free reign in your household, but it is natural for her to try out her wings. She should be allowed to test them occasionally when it's not going to hurt anyone to let her have her way.

Well my one friend said it's better that they get it out as a phase now at 8 and 11 rather than being a Teenager and dealing with it......

Thanks everyone BTW. =)

really? wow..umm its no big deal i did the same at a very very younge age my rents let me express myself that way and all was good if they didnt ..for my friends who mums and dads did the punshment they just hated them and did more to piss them off ..its expression.. i mean as long as she isnt servious depressed its little of cousre she'll "acted" sad and dreary thats gose with the gig

Ps Rocky Horror Picture Show!! i was rised on that movie!! guess my rents are pretty relaxed

I have been GOTH for over 20 years.LOL There really is nothing to it .For her she is most likely drawn to it as a way to look and feel different.Skulls and rock stuff are all the rage right now for all kids really so that does not mean anything more than hey I think that is cool. The most important thing is too keep the communication line open with her and if you are concerned with her new look and habits talk to her openly and honestly and ask her questions.Get tuned into her and her life and if something serious comes up you guys can deal with it together.