Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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I'm so angry and I don't know why.

grenadine
grenadine
I feel so angry right now, like I've got an edge to me. I drew a picture to express myself, it was a persons chest with a square cut out of the whole thing and there's a woosh of some type of liquid pouring out.

I snapped at my mom today when she asked me a question about how appropriate something was on tv and I snapped at my little sister after that about something. I apologized later.

I don't know what's come over me. I totally ditched my new good friend Sydonee this morning to go for a walk with my entire family (most of whom don't live nearby) and I think I made her a little upset. Shit.

I contacted my older gentleman friend with some heavy male orientated issues I was having and he lives in las Vegas and we were close like two years ago. Ugh!

I just feel so angry! I was fine yesterday!

I had some trauma drama last week or so so maybe that could be surfacing again.

I just feel so damn angry! Why???? Intense wooshing emotional feelings whirling around in my chest and a clinging bitterness in my gut. I feel tension!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Do you think you need a med tweak sweetie?.. it sounds like agitation..x
grenadine
grenadine
Maybe you're right. I just drew the weirdest drawing.... I don't want them to make me dull though, I already feel so dull in my mind. What am I gonna do with me? I'm so effed up.
grenadine
grenadine
I just drew this really interesting series and I feel a lot better. Yay for art!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Could it be connected with the night terror post?

I often can't see what is triggering my rage until I vent it. Anger is such a blinding emotion that I can't see through it to save my life. I go tear up a cardboard box - or some such - giving myself permission to scream and yell like the manic fool I am until I am calm enough to clean up my mess. It is amazing how often I can clearly see the source of my rage before the mess is cleaned up.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i wonder if your feeling are related to being manic at the time hypo that is but at least you realize it and say sorry for it that helps if the people around you know your on edge they will work with you but i would try to find the source of the anger and get that off your chest the drawing could help you find it it like free word assocition it helps find promblems that you cant think of your self it leads you down avuenes that are differnt that the acuttly conscience thoughts you have so may be some absract art could help
gmason
gmason
Good points made here above. I generally see anger, agitation, panic, and homicidal thoughts as being a part of mania. Med tweak might be needed. But it is also at time to make the conscience effort to put the brakes on. Sit down, look at what you are feeling, look at the past experience, and try to understand what is going on.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If I am in the right sort of mood my anger can change with the wind. It sounds as if you are in an agitated state with your bipolar mood.
starfish
starfish
Where's your dad in this picture? Often when young women (presuming you're relatively young) bond with older men, it is because there's a significant emotional void in their lives from their inattention from their own father. Could that be your own chest? And could that be what the missing square is?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Perhaps you are a little hypomanic? I get agitated when I am hypo.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i get you. i get so angry at times that i feel like ripping someone's head off. what helps me is walking alot to deal with all the pressure. music also is my therapy along with expressing how i feel or writing how i feel. i hope you feel less angry and more happy
grenadine
grenadine
Thank you everyone. I am running on little sleep and after nightmare affect. But it's cool. I feel better after pissing and moaning on a nature walk with my mom... by the end the endorphins and being in nature kicked in and I felt ok mentally, just physically sick.


A lot of great things said here.

Starfish - I'm actually having issues with my stepdad right now (always have though) and my real dad is a selfish self centered abusive alcoholic pric with a big heart. I don't have many positive older men in my life, except my uncles on my moms side... they're amazing.. all four of them. But I rarely talk to them.

The womans chest with a hole in it was definitely me. I drew more characters that represented me and I think they are so awesome. Pretty morbid though.

I'm calling my doc on Monday.. I have a lot to get straightened out with him. Might replace wellbutrin with a SAD lamp.
grenadine
grenadine
Towritegena- brilliant.
deleted_user
deleted_user
As stupid as this sounds, but this too shall pass. Maybe like a kidney stone but it too shall pass.
grenadine
grenadine
Thanks. I noticed tonight that's most every night, when my family goes to bed, I start to feel alone... Lonely. Then I go to my room and I feel frantic too. Frantic and lonely. Then a start writing in my journal so in a way I can tell someone my thoughts and worries. But still, nights are the worst, when I'm alone. I just feel like I don't have the potential to accomplish anything in my life. I used to have such a strong and promising future. Now, I'm a dud.
tats69
tats69
I get the same way at night.....they can be the worst time of the day for me. I think it's because it's quiet time and we let our thoughts get away from us and freak ourselves out. It's good that you journal and get those thought out on paper/computer. Maybe night time should be the time where you pamper yourself to a nice warm bubble bath and candles....some you time....we all could use more of it!!!
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