The best you can do is research the illness and go from there. Everyone has something wrong with them and at least he is being open with you, there are lots of things a person can do to help themselves and having a stable home life is key for him keeping stable. I think this illness can be controlled or even cured but the main thing is keeping things stable...see how things go and the bottom line is he is a person...the illness doesn't take that away.

In my opinion You have found yourself an honest man, and I think he feels safe to tell you about his illness. Like above, read, learn and let him tell you in his time about his journey with bp. I too have bp1, my medication has kept me stable, for the most part for years. Each person is different, and there are different severities of bp. So what is normal, I think those of us with mental illness are not in denial and know what we want, what we need to maintain our health, sometimes it is hard, but we have hope. Best of luck to you both.

Okay, so I'll be the realistic bad guy. A person who has BiPolar 1 has manic or hypomanic episodes. During those episodes one of the major symptoms is hyper-sexuality. Patients can have an almost incurable urge to go out and have sex with random strangers. If protection is not used then your partner can danger both of you for STD's or HIV.

I would have a very honest discussion with your boyfriend about his past manic episode behavior. It's not like these guys want to go sleeping around, sometimes they can't help it....but they can learn coping skills on how to keep it in check.

This is to serious of a problem to not mention it, especially with your past . Talk to your partner and see how he's done in the past. If he can handle it and hasn't acted on these urges in the past, then things may be okay, provided he continue his medication and Therapy. If he's not been able to control those urges, odds are they will continue during his Manic/Hypomanic episodes and if he doesn't fight them he'll be sleeping with strangers and bring their germs/diseases home with him.

Have a serious conversation about this, because for some people it can be a deal breaker.

I wish you the best and hope things work out for you.

hi, we are all struggling with bipolar here ourselves, we are all different and we don't know him (or you) so it's hard to give advice.

Honest communication and research is what I'd recommend, you will find a long post about bipolar disorder, what it is, the myths, what a partner can do that I wrote on the families & friends of bipolar group, it's called "long post"

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/family-friends-of-bipolar

Thank you so much - he actually told me at the earliest stage of our relationship that he was bipolar1 - he also explained to me his struggle with his mental health - I don't think his bp defines him - but I need to learn how to understand it I guess - thank you so much for your advice. Appreciate it

BiPolar Disorder does not define any of us. It's a Disease, just like any other, it's a Mental Disease. And like other Incurable, lifelong Diseases it has to be worked into our daily lives in order for us to function and become stable. We all have to do the things "normies" do, work, marry, have kids, get enjoyment out of life, etc. So when you have BiPolar you have to learn how to intertwine the two. If you don't figure out how to do so, then life will be hell. You'll find people who swear they can keep their BiPolar Disorder separate from their regular life....they're wrong and you can't, the BiPolar can make you think you can do things that you really just can't.

The only way to live a somewhat peaceful life with BiPolar is to learn ways, coping skills, tools to intertwine the BiPolar with your regular life, as its going to affect you 24/7, even after you reach Stability, because then its all about maintaining that Stability. One really big thing we BP'ers are good at is thinking, "Hey I'm good, life is good, I feel good...I don't need meds anymore!!" And that is the biggest trap that we tend to fall into. A person has to stay on their Med Cocktail, they have to be in Therapy and they have to be proactive and learn their Triggers, so that when they see episodes coming, whether its Depression or Manic, they can put things into motion to manage those episodes before they take over.

So, its never about the Disease defining us or having a label, its about managing the disease and working it into everyday life so the 2 can exist simultaneously with a good output.

When you do your research, make sure you research about the Partner or Spouses role, because its not always easy being married to a BP'er. Things can be great for a long time and then a brain chemical can shift and the world can fall out from under the BP'ers feet that quick. So generally the Spouse needs to be able to work and pay the bills and take care of the house and have all the general information about well, everything.

And I know I kept saying, "you", I just hate talking in the 3rd person, it irks me. lol

I've been Bipolar for 28 years now, I was married for 24 yrs and I have 2 sons, 27 & 18. I have an Associates Degree in Computer Science, a Bachelors Degree in Accounting and a Ph.D in Clinical Psychology and am also a Certified Paralegal. Back in the day when I was DX'd there was no 1 or 2, I was DX'd BiPolar Disorder with Severe Suicidal Tendencies. So, you can have BiPolar Disorder and still have a life and do all the things you want to do.....but it does take an almost military-like discipline to managing your BP, i.e. Meds, Talk Therapy, other Cognitive Therapies as needed, and a very open, honest and trusting relationship with your Pdoc and Therapist. Its never perfect, I've been inpatient 5 times and done every therapy there is. The last time included ECT (electric shock therapy) but it's what it took to get me back in a non-suicidally depressed state of mind so that I could get back to work and be productive in my life.

The fact that you're spending time trying to learn what you can about this, just shows how much you care about your guy and how much you want to support him. Him being open with you about his struggle says as much about him. Its really great that you 2 are working toward the same goal so that your future life together can be as good as possible.

Take care,
Kat

Let your head and heart talk. Make decisions that you truly know are right for you

There is a lot of information online and some good books.... Talk to him.... That's the best way that you'll get to know him.... A lot of people have long periods of stability and it's a treatable disorder.....Big hug.....xo

For those that say above, bipolar mania or hypomania does increase sex drive. However, we don't all go anywhere out there for sex. I stayed loyal every time, even when it meant nearly 3 years between marital encounters

Do a lot of research, thats what I did, I wish I did more when we were together. I think he was nervous with me doing research. You need to honest and open and talk about BP. I would def do research, there great book on BP relationship. I read forums, articles, documentaries. I wish we talked more about it together, we did a few times, I asked him if I could look up his meds because he telling me about this thinning. I knew this really bothered him so I asked him and I found vitmins he could take and shampoos that helped. I talked to him about his meds and how they deplete some nutrients and he needs to eat better. So I started making him healthier lunches he could take to work and made him healthy dinners. There is a lot to know about this illness and its good if you research and see if this is something you want. I think both partners need to be open. My ex he was to certain extent but I didnt fully understand BP until after we broke up. I wish we talked about it more and I could have supported him better certain times.
The only reason I researched it because the day he broke up with me, it wasn't really him. His face changed, his eyes changed, his voice changed to something more hollow and the love he had for me was completely gone. It was within an hour. He told me he loved me and then an hour later he broke up with me. I haven't talked to him in 6 weeks. Anyway after he broke up with me I did a lot of research my only regret is that I wish I knew more about his cyles triggers, his thoughts what worried him. I am more logical then he was so I could have helped him when he was feeling overwhelmed with thoughts. It is illness that takes up a lot of time. BP has to be priority to certain extent but if you guy is worth it then stick with it. My ex he only person I ever told I loved and he was very sweet, and kind and very beautiful person inside and out. There a lot of information out there for you learn about it. if you do continue I would suggest the following:
--CTB therapy for him
--therapy for you and him together
--bed time routine is pretty important (making sure you full night of sleep and he takes his meds)
-- eating healthy
-- try to remove sugar that is a trigger
--get vitmins OMEGA very important
--exercise
--Mood / emotions journal (one for you and one him) keep you insane and also keep track

these are just few things I learned and read and things we did together that were helpful. My ex was very calm BP, i mean he dif had a few moments but they were never really bad, most of the time he had hard time reading people and their intentions. So since I bit more logical then him i would break it down or explain and this helped out a lot too. COMMUNICATION is the KEY to ANY successful relationship.

Do a lot of research, thats what I did, I wish I did more when we were together. I think he was nervous with me doing research. You need to honest and open and talk about BP. I would def do research, there great book on BP relationship. I read forums, articles, documentaries. I wish we talked more about it together, we did a few times, I asked him if I could look up his meds because he telling me about this thinning. I talked to him about his meds and how they deplete some nutrients and he needs to eat better. So I started making him healthier lunches he could take to work and made him healthy dinners. There is a lot to know about this illness and its good if you research and see if this is something you want. I think both partners need to be open. My ex he was to certain extent but I didnt fully understand BP until after we broke up. I wish we talked about it more and I could have supported him better certain times.
The only reason I researched it because the day he broke up with me, it wasn't really him. His face changed, his eyes changed, his voice changed to something more hollow and the love he had for me was completely gone. It was within an hour. He told me he loved me and then an hour later he broke up with me. I haven't talked to him in 6 weeks. Anyway after he broke up with me I did a lot of research my only regret is that I wish I knew more about his cyles triggers, his thoughts what worried him. I am more logical then he was so I could have helped him when he was feeling overwhelmed with thoughts. It is illness that takes up a lot of time. BP has to be priority to certain extent but if you guy is worth it then stick with it. My ex he only person I ever told I loved and he was very sweet, and kind and very beautiful person inside and out. There a lot of information out there for you learn about it. if you do continue I would suggest the following:
--CTB therapy for him
--therapy for you and him together
--bed time routine is pretty important (making sure you full night of sleep and he takes his meds)
-- eating healthy
-- try to remove sugar that is a trigger
--get vitmins OMEGA very important
--exercise
--Mood / emotions journal (one for you and one him) keep you insane and also keep track

these are just few things I learned and read and things we did together that were helpful. My ex was very calm BP, i mean he dif had a few moments but they were never really bad, most of the time he had hard time reading people and their intentions. So since I bit more logical then him i would break it down or explain and this helped out a lot too. COMMUNICATION is the KEY to ANY successful relationship.

OK....SMH...some of you who DON'T have Bipolar sure do seem to be throwing around a lot of advice. That's what doctors and therapists are for. Doctors and trained psychologists give medical advice to people who have bipolar. Educating yourself is fine, but quite frankly you could inadvertently hurt someone here who has this disease in your misguided effort to "help". Maybe you should consider the Family and Friends of Bipolar board. That's a much more appropriate place for this post and the replies I'm seeing. Geez.

I'm sorry but this is NOT for friend girlfriends family and all that. Please go to thier support group. If I post about a bad day you will assume that is BP and it not. It me the person with BP having a bad day

I'm sorry but this is NOT for friend girlfriends family and all that. Please go to thier support group. If I post about a bad day you will assume that is BP and it not. It me the person with BP having a bad day

Thank you so much for your support - it's truly appreciated