Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
i cant even speak right now i am so angry and distraught.
my mum has just come home for the first time in about 3 months.
she knows i am ill again.
she sat me down and told me she had to speak to me
about a year ago when i saw a pdoc because of depression/anxiety etc.
she told me that when she had a private conversation with the doctor without me present ( i didnt get that at the time)
the doctor told her i have borderline personality disorder.
my mum told the dr not to tell me. because she thinks its not an illness.
just me being a brat.
ive been lied to.
denied help.
all because my mum doesnt believe this illness is valid.
i am absolutely. beyond words right now.
my mum has just come home for the first time in about 3 months.
she knows i am ill again.
she sat me down and told me she had to speak to me
about a year ago when i saw a pdoc because of depression/anxiety etc.
she told me that when she had a private conversation with the doctor without me present ( i didnt get that at the time)
the doctor told her i have borderline personality disorder.
my mum told the dr not to tell me. because she thinks its not an illness.
just me being a brat.
ive been lied to.
denied help.
all because my mum doesnt believe this illness is valid.
i am absolutely. beyond words right now.
I've totally manufactured this situation to ensure I make just enough drama. Thankyou for making me feel just an inch worse than I already do. Thanks for being like an online version of everyone in my life already. Thankyou for everything.
Beyond Words
I'll apologise for any offence ive caused to any of the supportive users of this board.
Other than that I am absolutely fuming
I was on rispridone..... I was really messed up.... hearing things.... before diagnosed with BP.
I took my dose in the morning once before work..... and 20 mins later couldnt remember if I took it...so I took another... and I started feeling.... quite strange. I was going to be late for work.
I called my boss said... give me an hour... Im gunna be late.
She asked... WHY?! Very angrily.
Me... being right messed anyways... said... I just took an extra dose of meds and I dont know how I feel right now.
She asked well what kind of meds?
I said.. Medication for... mental illnes. (why I dont know .. I didnt have to tell)
She then told me.... you dont need medication, your not sick, mental illness is made up by pharasudical companies, and all I need to do is pray to GOD.
I said... OKAY, Ill get on that.
And I hung up, called the HR office... and quit.
Lots of people think menal illness is made up.
These people have light switch personalities... who, if suffer stress or loss, of any mality.... just flip the switch. And on they continue.
Im sorry you had to suffer this type of trust trama.
I hate people who test trust.
Yeah trust is fundamental but I guess, I don't know the full story.
I just can't deal with all of this shit any much longer.
:/ can only ignore it as if I didn't know any different and see a pdoc and get sent away being told I am fine again :3 when that happens.
Jerez I I will give up with everything
If you haven't given borderline treatment a red hot go then how do you know whether it may help some?
Having a label like borderline does not mean that a bipolar (or anything else) label cannot be tacked on down the line in addition- in fact it's commonplace.
People, down here in Australia, who insist they are 'sicker' than borderline (as if you'd want/aspire to that) also get short shrift in Australia, I'm afraid. ie/ insisting you are 'psychotic' despite doctors reassuring you are not. It's viewed as typical behavior for borderline. Such patients are routinely turned away from ER etc (I have seen it with my own eyes) as it is frustrating to mental health professionals when people are desperate to be hospitalised, treated as very sick patients...when there are truly sicker patients to be dealt with.
I am very very sympathetic to how bewildering such treatment by mental health professionals must seem to you. Why can't you give borderline treatment a real go instead of being so stubborn?
None of your posts over time have seemed bipolar- all textbook borderline (been in hospital many times with bipolars, borderlines, schizophrenics, catatonics etc).
Help yourself...trying to manipulate, win sympathy, insist you are sicker etc won't endear you to the people treating you, believe me (I've seen it with my own eyes, again). This things aren;'t conscious, I'm not saying that.
Borderline does not mean you are not suffering terribly. It doesn't need to be called something else just so you feel validated as 'really fucked up'.
& borderlines see things, get a touch psychotic btw..none of that stuff means oh yes, your doc is wrong you have bipolar.
You don't know me
You dont know my past
You don't know my country
You don't know the services
You don't know the procedures
How dare you accuse me of exaggerating how Ill i am and have been.
How dare you. I am just going to otherwise ignore your comments because they are untrue and unnecessary.
i havent been treated at all because of the lack of services in my area.
the transition from adolescent to adult support is non existent therefore aged 16-18 there is nothing for anybody.
i would give therapy for anything a go. i am not bothered by what label they place upon me, as long as it is true to my symptoms.
infact i dont even want a label of anything who needs one, i'd rather just be able to contiune with my life i have a lot to live for but this is disruptive and has been for a very long time .
i am not stubborn. i am not exaggerating and i am not lying.
what would i possibly gain from that? its not in my interest to mess people around. i dont attempt to win sympathy nor do i aspire to be sicker than the next person. why. ?
if you could please elaborate on your comment on how my posts are borderline in nature i would be interested to understand because sometimes its easy to lose sense of reality online.
i have lost sense of reality anyway.
but thats a lie isnt it sorry.
Now it's time to get to work Mush, get the help you need, and get your life going the best you can for yourself, you are an intelligent and very tough chick and can make it all happen for yourself, go get'em, don't let "them" get you!!! **big hugs*
two fingers up to the lot of them ! hate doctors so much haha xx