Went to the t-doc today, and although she gave me good advice, which led me to get relax with surf and sea today a three disc set that my husband got me which was only 5.88. Wow, I can't believe how cheap three hours of music is! Then again, relaxation music isn't high in demand, so the price for it would be a little lower. I do believe that the music helps. I think I will tell her that next. But, when confronted with my deep sensitivity I feel when threatened or hurt by others my ole man told me he couldn't deal with my emotional rollercoaster anymore yesterday and that hurt me really bad. Instead of suggesting that he change what he says or me suggesting, she says that I should change myself. Thing is I told her I try to tell him things hurt me, and it's like he just doesn't care or seem to want to understand how I feel when the stress level that he has inside his own head makes him not able to care about his words and how they affect me. She says to the comment about me getting out more and dealing with how cruel others can be, and how highly sensitive I am. "Let's just face it, not everyone out there is going to be nice, there are some nasty people out there. Sometimes you have to just face it." Sometimes you have to just face it? omg! She must not have read my signals good today! I wasn't washed. (I was so tired I slept instead of groomed.) I felt so emotionally drained. I mentioned about how my meds didn't give me any release at night, and I might need to switch, and I got you should do more things during the day, and get active more. I bipolar as I am try really hard! I went swimming for a few hours, and it drained me so much I needed a five hour nap to regroup! I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my illness is taking over me, and I just don't know how to deal. I hope by venting, at least my emotions will be released, or maybe I need a new therapist! I think that some therapists need to specialize in certain areas. I think there should be therapists out there who specialize in BP Disorder. Am I wrong for thinking this way??
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