I have read everyone's reply and it makes me very sad that we are all going thru the same thing. I have tried so very many meds since I was diagnossed. I tried anything to feel better/normal !!! Usually 2 or 3 meds at a time. The Dr. kept saying,,, it is normal,,,, when I asked if they had ever taken this medication to see what it felt like they all said NO. Welllll, that pretty much explains it !! I have quit all the mind altering drugs and now take xanax for the anxiety my BP causes me. I have never been the same, mentally, since I have taken all their "Helper" drugs. I make a joke out of it a lot of times, saying ,, I Miss My Mind The Most,,,, but you are all exactally right. I often have a hard time comprehending what is written or said, my memory is good for shit... and I still have embarassing times, such as now, with my spelling. However, I no longer walk around in a haze/cloud,,,, my nerves are much better with the xanax , and I can find my arce with one hand!!! LOL Best of luck to all of you,,,,,,,,..,,,, Love, Lynn

Thinking that we are brilliant, is a very typical characteristic of BP. When we are correctly medicated, and I emphasize the word ,
"correctly", we realize that our thinking was delusional--if not psychotic, the way mine was. If you really feel dumbed out, and now have memory problems, you might discuss it with your doctor. Could be that you're on the wrong med for your body chemistry. That's why there are different BP meds. What works for one person, doesn't always work for another.

I have read all the posts...and know what you mean by the numbness and just feeling so dumb... My wonderful husband takes lithium, lamictal, abilify and seroquel at night. he is a college graduaute and owns his own business now for almost four years! He had to go thru a trial of different doctors and meds till he found what workied with his body chemistry.
He does seem to be like a zombie sometimes and i have to call his name like ten times or remind him about stuff....He may just need to have his lithium reduced, in my opinion. He gets very aggittated and will take a klonapin..that helps some....I support him, but it is hard for the both of us.....I hope the best toeveryone....find what works for you...I do think the lithium makes you like a robot or just going thru the motions, i wish he could not take it.....

I feel like my thought process is slowed as well as my memory. I hate it.

I feel very much in the ozone on off days. My short term memory is affected also. It troubles me but I am trying to accept that the alternative is insanity. I do logic puzzles- all sorts of challenging puzzles in hopes of producing more brain cells. Who knows if it helps..lol

I really miss parts of me that was not medicated. I guess sometimes I do miss the outrageous thoughts and euphoria. But it always eventually turns into hell. So, there it is....

it's hard to tell ifi it's the medication OR the disorder itself OR just age OR a combination of some or all.

but...benzodiazpeines are like alcohol, they do make you slower cognitively

I know I am way foggier since I started my meds eight years ago. I have no memory and it really sucks because I went back to college and I am really struggling with the material I am learning. But I guess its better than being way out there!

Yes, I need to go back to school but I think I need a lot of brain games and get off benzo's first.

I feel like a moron on my dopamax, uhm I mean Topamax, but it keeps away the PTSD episodes, so I guess that's just the name of the game. Oh well.

i forget what i was going to say so i am just bumping instead... ;0

my memory got MUCH worse...(short term memory) after I took Lamictal...I stopped it on my own after 4 weeks and my memory is WORSE AND WORSE..
ITs so bad that I will put my brush down for 2 seconds and I cant remember where it is to save my life...its aweful

I feel the same way.

I can be talking to someone and forget what I was about to say. This happens all the time. I hate it so much.

Even since I posted the other day I have noticed that I say UM a LOT. I hate it too. I can't stand when people do that!!! I always feel like they aren't paying attention to what I'm talking about when they do that. I need to put a rubberband around my wrist to see if I can stop myself!!!

I studied for a Math Test All week and Still Failed It. Can't help but to wonder if the Seroquel is partialy to blame.

BP2001...this is why I cant go to college...because I cant remember anything I study. My memory has always been aweful...MATH IS MY WORST SUBJECT...my enemy...always has been...anything that requires remembering a lot of things...

I cant pass the lowest math class 4c's has to offer because once I get to the middle where things get a wee bit more difficult...I fail...FAIL....FAIL....FAIL....

and I end up saying "fuck it" and give up.