I have trouble keeping friends. I think the main reasons are my unstable mood swings and my severe depression. Seems most people think that just their presence should cure you and so they get fed up with me when I don't get cured. The only thing that has really worked with me has been honesty. I only reveal a little at a time when it seems appropriate, but I have found that telling people I struggle with depression sometimes and that is has nothing to do with them or my situation seems to let them off the hook in a way. Some are more relaxed but then there are those who just can't help but think they are the ones who will heal you. Don't know what to do about that.

I have extremely high expectations of other humans, and these are rarely met.... also, I have a strange need to be alone that my S.O.s don't like. My family of origin was "dysfunctional" and so...... I repeat the pattern.

no, not a theme for me?

I have a policy of not burdening or leaning on people with my stuff when things are bleak...that's my preference & I think it helpful.

When it comes to friends, I am a complete hermit. This website is about as social as I get. My husband is an introvert too, so we're hermits together. Sorry I have no helpful advice in the matter!

I think it's my high expectations of others and myself, that hurts my relationships. That and the fact that other people are just dips!
:-) lol

For awhile I had trouble keeping friends. Especially after high school. My friends went on to college (so did I, but I dropped out due to a really bad manic/psychotic episode). They didn't understand. Of course, it didn't help any that I didn't really try to explain it. I just said, "I have bipolar disorder." I agree with ruidoso78, honesty works. Now that it's been a few years since HS, I am making new friends at a new church that I started going to last year. I have learned to be honest with them, when I'm feeling depressed and when I'm feeling a little high. They are always such supportive people. They pray for me and love me unconditionally. I think sometimes it depends on where you're looking for friends. If you're looking in a bar or a club, you can expect to find those fair weather friends that don't really care about you unless you're in party mode. But if you look for friends who share a common interest (in a class or support group or even a church), you can expect to find good friends who will understand or at least try to understand.

I am doing much better at keeping friends now. It involves me doing my part to call them, text them, go see them, hang out with them, etc. Friendship is a two-way street and if you don't do your part, you can't expect someone else to hold the friendship together.

I want to find others that God has spoken to. But the ones I meet that say they have spoken to God have such crap taste in music.

i have never had trouble keeping relationships...my last relationship was 7 years....it wasn't a healthy relationship but it lasted, we are still friends to this day...my current relationship is over a year old and we are doing all right (better then last week LOL)

most of my friends i have known for 10 plus years, the only exceptions are the friends that i met while i was living in TN...those folks i have known 3 years

There's a lot of different factors to take in mind then really.

One would be how long people have been struggling with their difficulties and when that actually started. Like ruidoso78, I've had people look to help me (when they've not asked how to) then get pissed off with me when their help isn't working, as if it's my fault somehow. Most the friends I've had or grown up with fail to understand what I go through and what that's been like.

I agree honesty is a good policy, yet even then it has to be with people who are ready to hear the truth and understand it if possible.

It probably helps to have less expectation and lower standards too. It does depend what someone actually wants in a friend/partner and it does have to work both ways, with us making the effort (it has to feel worth the effort though).

I know I'd be lost without the internet!

I have come to the conclusion that the people that are suppose to be in your life will be. And the ones who were only suppose to be temporary will be just that.
I've had trouble keeping friends in the past... growing up I went from group to group trying to find where I fit in and in the end I never really fit in anywhere. I always stood out somehow and never had an explanation for the way I would act.

I try not to judge people anymore, because when I do it makes me make a list of what I expect from them...and in reality people can't be what you want them to be...so you gotta just accept them for the way they are flaws and all. The same way you want them to accept you the way you are.

I find when I go through depression I lose half the friends I have at the time. it's hard because it feels like a wash cycle, wash rinse repeat :/
I have no answer for you I just felt like saying something, that is all!

It's a solid philosophy to go by Sini, so it helps to be reminded of that.

The true friends are there when we come back out of a depression, right?

Those we can actually call friends and mean it are just more rare. It's probably better that they are in way; you can certainly appreciate those kind of relationships all the more.

yep it works for me =]

I love people. I really do. But almost everyone seems to come and go in my life.

As a bipolar, and as a Person, I am waaay too intense for most people. I say things Honestly, and don't do small talk on a one-on-one basis.

I do it at work, etc, all the time - but those are not "friends" - you know?

I am like Jagiello and some others, in that I expect very little of "people", so I am generally more pleasantly surprised than disappointed when people turn out to be Human.

But no, I don't form close friendships well. Only a few. And maybe that's the way it's Supposed to be.

I have had trouble keeping friends. When I'm manic I am super-friendly and social. When I am down I am a hermit and feel like other people know I am nuts and probably don't want to be associated with me. I dont keep in touch with people. I think that is the most important part of having a friend--keep in touch and keep workng on the relation ship. It is so easy to just give up.