I believe we were born with the pre-disposition to BP and it was triggered by some event in our life, even if it means the stress of birth.

I also believe it has a purpose as we do and it is up to us to find it. In searching, with prayers, we are blessed in seeking and once found through acceptance, it brings us innner peace.

The trick is in finding it Hanna. We have to look deep, seek profoundly, search constantly. Our pupose changes with events and age, as I believe. In this disorder, I see my purpose as a way to share the intensity, emotion and revelations I experience with this disorder. To me, the disorder all by itself is not a purpose but what we do with it IS.

Our purpose may only be to help another realize how best to deal with the disorder, or have an outlet for crativity or compassion, or understanding.

Hugs

I used to view my disorders before my breakdown as a weird gift.

For my son his ADHD and Asperger traits help him to memorize anything he is interested in. He is really into sports, science and history. He has been amazing people with his knowledge for years. He is twelve now, but to see a six year old talking about so many interesting facts always suprised people.

I'm very good at multi-tasking. I was excellent at my job. I always had excellent review in teaching and the paper work. I feel I draw a bit of creativity from some of my disorders.

I'm definately not boring.

Yes, my disorders have down sides but with each one I see a little gift.

T

We feel more than normal people, be it good or bad.

I, personally, can't see the gift in this disorder. I look at it more as a curse But that's just my perception.

I understand what you're saying Shelly. But where is "God's" great plan? Were we doomed to be like this b/c of genetics, or b/c of a higher power?

Tru amal, we DO feel more than the saners. I guess I'm just looing for a place to put blame...even if there's no purpose in placing blame to begin with.

It's hard to accept what you've been dealt, be it from God or genetics when you can't function properly and that's all you really want.

No.

I don't see it as a gift. But then so far I've been free of other ailments.

I suppose my experience of life has been that it is fairly random. People that are successful suddenly get ill, people who are ill find happiness, people die, children are born etc. Good and bad for everyone.

For that reason I've never wanted to swap places with anyone. I've lived with BP for so long that I accept it (I thought that was just the way I was).

Shit happens....we got lucky with BP.it could have been a lot worse.born with no arms or legs..that sort of thing.

I know acceptance is the key...I accept that I'll have to take meds forever.

I know I should be thankful that it's not a worse thing, such as what DD said. But how can you be thankful that your own mind turns agains itself?

i dont feel lucky..i feel cursed..

genetics did me in. i don't see it as a gift i would like to share, and hopefully i didn't.

i feel like it is a curse too,

sometimes i feel like god is some kind of fkg sick fuck up their doing an experimetn on us and fkg with us..

but then, i stop and think, i have no where to turn, i have to somehow beleive that for some reason, we have this disorder, and yes, it is a hellish, terrible thing...

but, too like dd said, there are so many thing's out there that people live with and cope with, that hey never wanted...

yes, we feel so intensely and deeply, and that in itself can be a curse....yet, look at all the beautiful works of art, and poetry, and music that has come out of it? thse thing';s have touched so many people's lives you know

i think that our curse can be a door to somehow getting out of our selves...if we take our meds and work hard enough at it...and becoming free of all the every day shit and crap and judgements and illusions that growing into a "member of society" brings...and somehow, we can make a difference....

we can touch others....and help alleviate the broken, ...because we have been in such deeply remote and frightening and dark places..that i dont think we really look at life the same way as most people do anymore, or at least i don't...

i wish so bad we didn't have this helllish illness.....but....i think we have to , we must look at the gifts that it brings....and use those gifts to touch the lives of others and truly make a difference in this sorry sad world...

hugs, love maggie

Ya Im with you Hanna. I dont see the up side. Going through suicidal tendencies isnt something most people even want to acknowledge, never mind accept as a disease.
As for gifts, Im lost. I have no idea what people mean when they say bp comes with gifts.

sometimes i think that maybe it leaves us more open-minded than others... maybe since it use to be "taboo" to have a mental illness and i guess some consider it to still be... maybe that leaves us more open-minded to "taboo" subjects that others simply can't understand or don't even try to...

i agree shelly , i think we do have a pre disposition to have bp especially genetic related and i believe that it can be triggered with stressful events in life....but i dont think i would be as good of an artist if i didnt feel life the way i do and in that aspect i am glad though the dark times are scary and are inevitable we all have our crosses to bare , our crosses can just be a little heavier than the rest.

we either can make the best of BP or we can succumb to it and let it take us into its hell ridden world....YOU have the power to either start thinking positively or just continue to let it take a hold of you and think it is a curse...xoxo

Genetics, fucked up parents, fucked up people injecting their fuckedupedness into our lives and fucking us up.... Round and round the mulberry bush...... for millenium. Bipolar is not new. No reason, no rhythm..... Although I have a theory about trauma/abuse and multiple diagnosis....... But I'll start a new thread..