how long did you give the meds you were prescribed a go, for? Don't think you have much likelihood of being able to reign this tendency in if you're unmedicated, whoa.

Meds certainly can knock you sideways, zonk you..sometimes this wears off as you adjust to the med, though. Or your pdoc can tinker with your meds/try something new.

Especially given your history you really oughta try againh, imho.

I suggest you be honest with your doctors. Maybe they can do something about the meds that zombie you out. I had bad rages before being put on abilify. I have kicked through walls, abused people, thrown frying pans (dented the floor on that one it was linoleum), broken furniture and left the vehicle in sudden rage and decided to walk home. My husband was driving at the time and that was not good. I scared myself with my rages not to mention my children who were young at the time.

Usually with "dysphoric" hypo mania, I am already in an agitated, restless state and I am triggered easily. There were several factors involved in my rage including the dysphoric hypo mania which was the catalyst for more frequent outburst but not the root cause.

Through therapy with a qualified therapist and taking behavioral therapy like CBT, DBT, EFT, I was able to identify associated learned behaviors and work on them. Once I eliminated those, my rages in dysphoric hypo mania were much less frequent and intense.

To give you an idea...prior to therapies...my rages were intense and physically chaotic and abusive. I destroyed things without control, I threw things at people, I hit people, I damaged property, I hurt myself physically. I have learned coping skills that have helped a great deal so I can identify and work through the agitation and anger before it escalates to that point.

I still have rare cases or "hair trigger" anger, but not nearly as ofte. Meds and therapy are absolutely necessary if you expect to get it under control. Your disored is not an excuse for your outbursts, you have to take the necessary responsibility for your behavior. At this point there is still much you can do to help yourself.

xo

I don't have rage issues, but my son has and does, though he is only just 22 in a few days, and is still working through the youngster/hormones part...

I truly believe they come from Somewhere, but don't have to be directly related to the situation at hand, at All. And I Don't believe you are "doing it to get attention."

I sometimes allude to my son with examples, but there are some times I haven't talked about.

Like when we were walking on a boardwalk trail, and we couldn't agree on whether the angle of his photo shot would show a spider on her web clearly.

He was fine until that moment...then he dragged me into the river and tried to drown me.

Five minutes later, he was sorry, and crying, and so forth. But the instant rage is Strong.

He is Learning to identify the moment, and try to do damage control before too much is already done. But anger management in the Right setting has shown him that some of the rage is from his past, when his emotional ranges were just developing, and things happened that he did not deal with. Father issues, divorce issues, etc - in His case. Plus his bipolar nature, etc.

This may not be the case for you, but it is helping him. I still believe self-awareness goes a long way, even if the awareness is not there in the initial moment of rage. Like re-tuning yourself from the inside, so your sub-conscious eventually begins to kick in to your consciousness.

Just wanted to add something. I no longer try and think of terms of is this part of BP or not? I think most people have more than one issue at work in their head. So if its part of BP or not really isn't the issue, the real issue is that it exists, and it appears to be problematic.

Oops, "disored" is meant to be disorder.

Geesh Java, you and I sound very much alike in this respect. It was because of my young children that I knew I HAD to get this under control. It was that or risk having them taken away from me. I never hit or hurt them, but I scared the hell out of them. I would break and distroy other things so I would not hurt them. I have patched lots of holes in walls and repaired furniture. I absolutely wont drive when dysphoric because I am dangerous to myself and others. I will cut people off in traffic etc. etc. Thank God I dont experience this raging dysphoria anymore.

Also, Atwater....with bipolar dysphoric hypo mania, it usually last several weeks. As I said the agitated, agressive state not necessarily constant rage. If you are going from 0-100 without being in the midst of an episode, you might explore other factors. It may feel uncontrolled because it is learned and instinctual. That can be changed. Best wishes

Once I punched my son's bike tires with a big knife.. I could have been worse, horrible, if you know what I mean.

Meds and therapy didn't take it away, but helped alot. Rage is the main reason I keep taking my meds, I'm scared to hurt someone.

Only through Prayer and Meditation I found peace, now I can keep silence when I'm angry, and even frawn a smile.

The trouble that my rages have gotten me into is endless.It started when I was young and beat the hell out of children my age. I progressed to killing and torturing animals(not proud of just the facts). As I progressed my violence increased,masked by drinking alcohol and then drugs.I owned several large dogs and trained them to attack on command. I started to carry weapons all the time and would use them. Then I met my psychiatrist and we met and talked several times before he suggested medications but he did and I took them welcomely
It was the beginning of a new life for me,a better life.
Everything changed I put down my defences and the walls inside came down as well. I have true freedom now........I am married and have real love in my life. I found all about bipolar disorder,I have found that I have limitations (everyone has limitations). I used to blow up at work too,I hit my apprentice in the head with a pipe wrench for being lazy one day. But those days are gone and have been for a while now. My fear is gone,my paranoia is gone as is my fear of being close to another human being
These are the core issues to be dealt with to remove anger/fear and anxiety. Sorry if I went on too long..............Brian

I used to a lot... Throw things, break things, Hit things, hurt myself...yell at people... Never at work, though. I think there's a moment when you can decide to go with it and get crazy, or step back and say no. Like breaking any bad habbit, it's hard to say no, or to even realize that you can say no. For me, I've gotten it pretty under control without meds so I think it is behavioral. Nothing wrong with that, I like being told it's behavioral bc then I know that with education I can control it better

Yes, am so ashamed but have put knives through doors, punched walls, started fights with my wife for no reason, and when I've totally lost it, kicked / hit my pets for excessive barking, property destruction. I've talked to people who practice meditation, martial arts, yoga, buddhism, and other therapeutic practices to help them learn to control the root of their anger and stop themselves from getting out of control when they feel one coming on. I've been going to DBT for about 6 months now and find that it's teachings, based on Buddhism, have helped me more than once control my anger and kept me from acting out. Yoga and meditation can both be done at home, for free (you can check out books and DVD's from the library). There may even be martial arts classes that are free though a local community center. These are just some things I have done that have helped me and considering the severity of your rages and how long you've been struggling, may be some ideas to consider.

perhaps Seroquel or Seroquel XR could help.

or lower doses of abilfy. I think that by not taking your meds you're really risking a lot. I'm a bit concerned

My rages were generally aimed at myself..I've given myself black eyes,and burned myself w a lighter.

My house was full of holes in my walls...at work,I usually was able to contain myself.

Depakote has really curbed my rages well,ask your Pdoc about Depakote,it often is only med that will curb rages..some meds actually will make them worse (some anti-depressants)

If they happen just out of the blue and with no warning but with only a teeny tiny trigger - then maybe this isn't related to BP? Just throwing that out there...

I wasn't ever really a "rager" and am on more than enough antipsychotics that this isn't an issue - cool cucumber is more like me - I love antipsychotics and their chill out factor.. & yea definitely stay medicated.. Meds should not make you not feel anything - seriously maybe you are not giving them the chance they need or are just on the wrong ones. I just never get it when people say that, as I have been pretty doped up and yet still had emotions or am able to "feel" - so sorry just don't understand that..(not saying it doesn't happen)

Thanks for all the insight and suggestions into this rage of mine.

I do take depakote. But now the pdoc has me on the generic stuff and that stuff just does not work for me at all. I was also on the ER Depakote last month and I had rage incidents many times a day. When on the real regular depakote, i may have one rage incident every few months.

Before I had my first major mania episode which led to a complete mental breakdown (where my memory was completely blank but i was still concious and it took two cops to control me), I never had rage as I do now (of course i would get mad from time to time, but never out of control).

No Trauma: Life has been very good to me. I never had any trauma in my life. The only real trauma I had was breaking an arm when young. I am married to a great woman and have great kids. Everyone gets along well. My previous jobs were very good. Of course job stress grew to be too much, coupled with my deteriorating mind, so i just cannot work again.

My tirggers vary. A sudden high pitched sound can set me off. But all triggers for me have one common thread - they all come suddenly and unexpected. If I see something coming that may trigger me, it is very easy to keep from going into rage.

Most folks may get really upset driving with all the crazy folks on the road. I never get upset driving and never cuss while driving as i can anticipate every drivers move. People may get mad at me for this that or the other, but if I can anticipate it, it has no effect. My kids may call me a retard from time to time for the things i do, but this never sets me off. i expect it.

I know my rage is tied to adrenaline. I once took a timer and set it at random and began a task, such as typing an email. When the timer rang, that ring just set off the rage instantly. So while raging, also looked at what was happening with my body. I flushed, my heart rate doubled, and my head felt so damned hot, my mind seemed in an altered state, I could not remember what I was working on.

I thought If I trained my body to adjust to the sudden ring of the timer, I would be better able to deal with this rage. It really did not help. the reaction was the same over the time I tried this.

But I did find if I was moving/walking when the bell went off, I did not feel the rage as bad.

I told all this to my county therapist in 2007. She did nothing with it...