Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I just want to put this out here and trying not to be controversial just sharing my experience. I was put on .5mg of Klonopin at age 24 when they discovered I had Mitral Valve Prolapse. I thought it was to keep my heart rythm in sync. Had no discussion..just told I would need to take it. About a year later I started having severe panic attacks and went to ER and they upped my klonopin to 1mg and said that would help. Needless to say I have been on it (up to 3mg since my dad passed from former 2mg) for 26 yrs. now.
On July 30th or 31st I had one left and called my pharmacy and asked them to fill the prescription they had on hold for me. They said insurance wouldn't allow me to fill it until the 5th. I have never taken more than prescribed. I asked if I could pay for it would they will it..no they again said insurance wouldn't allow it until the 5th. By the 2nd day I hadn't slept and had flu-like symptoms and muscle spasms in feet and hands and neck. Throwing up and diarrehea with horrible stomach cramps. Could barely walk from the bedroom to my bedroom and back. I ate a sleeve of saltine crackers and a sprite everyday for 5 days..that's all I could hold. The worst was the intrusive obessive thoghts that ran over and over in brain to the point of being unbearable. Yes I had been severly stressed before for quite awhile but this was what sent me over the edge. I was going to give it 10 minutes to shut the hell up (my brain) or I was just gonna take an assload of pills. I simply wanted quiet in my head and rest. I prayed help me help me over and over in my head and a miracle happened and my mind just stopped ruminating and was silent. But..I was so weak and at one point I had flashing signals in my eyes and I thought I was going blind and got scared and just laid down and closed them. I'm feeling better bit by bit everyday but still not right.
Question or opinions...Have you ever went through a benzo withdrawal or anyone succesfully ever gotten off of them. I was doing research and found others who had tried to commit suicide after being on benzo's and said they actually had less panic attacks when they got off but it was hell to get through.
Talked to my pdoc about this this morning and when I voiced my fears that there may come a time when a doc just stops prescribing them and then I'm on my own or have to travel and they only transfer the script one time. I feel like a slave to this drug. He said it was nothing to worry about docs weren't going to stop prescribing them and that I would need to take them the rest of my life but when I'm 60 I'll need to switch to a shorter acting one(??). He brushed it all off as no big deal when. I know better tahn to stop them cold turkey. I;m surprised I didn't have a seizure but could my brain ever recover. A part of me just wants to know what it is like living more clear headed and it's obviously a very dangerous drug but the other part is scared to death of suffering. It was the sickest I've ever been and that's saying something. Lost at least 5lbs. in 5 days that I couldn't afford to lose and still don't have my strength up. Opinions...advice..experience??
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
It's scary doing med switches, period. I'm starting one and I've gotten kind of anticipatory anxiety about it. I try to find centering activities as best I can....Pilates basic stuff....focusing on my core helped me over time get through rising panic....so much so that I could avoid panic attacks.
Nester I'm so sorry you were so sick and we couldn't give you cyber (((((hugs))))!!! I'm sending over positive thoughts and lots of prayers sent up for you. This stuff is complex and sometimes these docs don't know how it feeeeeeeeeels to go through med changes!!! Love ya nes!!!
Can you safely detox from Benzo's? Yes, people do it everyday, I've done it twice in the last 28 years when I had to switch meds or did a brain re-set. You safely detox by doing a slow taper, lowering your dose over a period of time so that when you get down to a small amount, generally .5 - .25mgs you can stop with little to know withdrawals.
If you want to get off the benzo's and see what your anxiety is like, then ask your Dr. to put you on a taper and get off them. The key with benzo's is to do it slow at 3 mgs it will take you several months to detox safely and comfortably. Benzo's carry a physical withdrawal symptom and a psychological withdrawal symptom which can make them harder to detox off of than a narcotic or opioid, so slow and steady is the way to go.
May B that is AWESOME!! You are the first person I've heard of that was on them 20+ years and got off. The thing that I've been reading about is that after awhile benzo's cause the very thing they are meant to help..More severe panic attacks! Maybe I wouldn't even have near the anxiety that I have on them. I sure don't know after being put on them for Mitral Valve Prolapse at 24 and the panic attacks did come after being put on them but they just upped the dose and I was young and stupid and thought docs know everything.
Older...Yes I have heard coming off them makes coming off heroin or Meth a walk in the park but have been reading about liquid tilterations (?) to taper.
Bookmaven..My pdoc was furious with the pharmacy and his staff.. I did call the Mental Health Center and they told me that I would have to wait and talk to Dr. Jeffrey's nurse on Thursday bc he is only in my county Mental Health Center on Thursdays. His main office is in another county 4 days a week. He said that was absolutely not true that they couldn't reach him. Also he is having me switch pharmacies to a local owned one where he knows the staff. He has always fussed about me using a chain pharmacy but I've done it out of convenience for like when I'm at my brother's in a different state. He was tore up about it and told me sincerely he was so glad to see me and I looked him in the eye and said I'm so glad to see you today and he teared up.
Suncloud..thanks and yes he is pissed at the staff for not reaching him. I did tell them I was very very sick and needed them to give him a message to call pharmacy and see if he would okay the script to get filled faster. I told him I knew that they were a lot of people who rang their phone off over every little thing but I told him I've been there near 10 years and this was the 2nd time I had ever called for something.