Thank you Nala. I am working on getting better, but there are just some days I just don't want to face life.

I hope people are aware of this extreme pain you are still in- specifically your psychiatrist :(

i hear you, do.

they DO NOT take people suffering from mental illness' of any type.

they will not take a physically healthy 29 year old under any circumstances.

(yes, i've researched these clinics deeply. at one time it seemed like a good idea to me also)

i am not one iota against suicide, assisted or not, but i am very, very sad for people who go there trembling and terrified. BAD shit happens when we leave in that state.

i couldn't leave peacefully like that, i don't have a judgement, i just don't like it. it's just a sad thing. if i personally left like that i know i would be set back a couple pegs, for sure.

This is something that is very personal. I would not allow my fmaily members to suffer needlessly---that is what morphine is for. But we are all terminal, every day...some of us have horrible medical issues to deal with and we all have the demons in our heads. But do I think that this is what assisted suicide should be for...um no. We can find help, we can work on our lives and try. I see cancer patients daily that would give up everything just to see their grandchildren graduate or babies that should be able to reach their first birthdays. And some people I can help, but others I look and know I am doing nothing more than giveing them pain relief for their remaining days...not years. That is when I feel selfish...like I need to try harder and work to get better. Yes I am going to have crappy days, but I live for the good ones. Sorry for the rant but I lost a favorite patient of mine today and 4 since Friday. It's been a few days since I felt like I was doing any good...but I know I am.

Hi Krystal~~

I'm sorry you feel as though you don't want to live anymore. I'm hoping that feeling changes very soon. Do you have a plan to do something differently soon that might facilitate a change in feeling? Hope so!!

I don't believe I've seriously toyed with the idea of suicide. I believe my life is not my own to take. Besides, my dad killed himself so I was forced to get way closer to the subject than I ever wanted.

For me, it's very cut & dried ..... suicide is not an option. So any energy I might expend on that notion goes to other things I can do. Some days my energy level is so low I couldn't possibly imagine wasting any of it suicide!!

Hope you get to feeling better.

Not everyone is cut out for life.

Some people who are 'only' mentally ill are in terrible pain all the time and totally resistant to every kind of treatment.

If they want to opt out, I think that's up to them.

They know their quality of life. If they have none, why SHOULD they stick around?

I'll go as far as to say that qualifying for assisted suicide should be an extremely rigorous process when it comes to people who are mentally ill.

The same way that (legit) places that perform sex-change operations take as many precautions as they can -- including requiring therapy -- before performing the surgery.

If someone has suffered greatly from mental illness for many years, with all downs and no ups and there's documentation that they've tried every treatment available to ameliorate their condition, without success, then I say let them check out.
Maybe there could be a 2 year waiting period with regular visits in which the person's intent is repeatedly questioned and evaluated.

It's obviously the most important decision that a person can make and there should be some really strong checks and balances in place to prevent assisting a person in committing suicide when there is still hope for a better life.

But I do believe that there are mentally ill people who qualify for it.

i think that makes sense carla, and i completely agree that there are indeed people with mental afflictions who should qualify for assisted suicide.

i was just saying, as it is, they don't.

I agree with you Carla. For some people, it's just too hard to live.

I am someone who respects all life, and this may seem hypocritical but I also agree with Carla and believe this is a quality of life issue.

I have had a couple of friends take their life's, who were completely treatment resistant and though it hurt to lose them as friends, I know it was their only way to find any peace.

R U a financial burden on your family, on your state,on your community?
R U unable to breath on your own, unable to sit up,unable to get up n walk - even w a walker,unable to eat. do u have a feeding tub. r u legs n feet blueish black, unable to speak, do u half to wear depends.can u dress yourself or do u need assistance or have someone to bath n dress u, do you have colist i ma bag &/or cath- er- th- er. can u see, do u have ocd or just ob- sist-ing, do u think that u are of sound mind 24/7...

Sounds like your in dark depression & ob - sis-t-ing.
I have BP & thyroid disorder. thyroid affects our minds. I have BP so I am not in position to make financal contracts nor conduct business etc... 24/7

Occassionally I too go into darker shades of depression. sometimes the darker shade of depression can last more than mo & skip on n off throughout a few mo's.
I love my life. I love life. I love my family & next generation & generations that will follow. I will not be an excuse for someone to attempt to reason in their warp thinking, to end their life. that's effect that we can do to/leave our family with. To me that's warped thinking - not of sound mind & is SOOO beyond selfish/self center at expense of ourself & mostly others.

I'm not the person that I use to be. my life & daily activitys are not as they use to be. Ya I use to have pity partys. I had to creat a whole new life n life style. I even had to obtain new friends to replace the ones that disappeared/drifted away & some that I pushed away.
according to u . u have bf & are able to be in a relationship & maintain a relationship & have daily activitys together & indepentantly. There are 1.000's upon 1.000's who would love to have even 1/2 of what you have & have going on in your life.
I had to create schedule that accomidates the diffrent phases.
I can only assume that u take all that u have & are able to do for granted & that your in darkest of gray - blackness of depression & that your in sence of ocd ing.

I wished that we lived closer together. so that u could at least c that we - BP-ers can have a full life w happy moments & that we can have daily life schedule that accomidates our moods/depression & other phases in our illness.

We the people have the right - to do what ? to pursue happiness. that tells me that all people are not happy all the time,but have right to pursue happiness. to have moments of happiness. that is our consitutional right.

Please do not aid others in their path to hell. business's is just that, business w employees, soly for finacial gain at cost of others.
path's to hell is liken to field of flowers of decite & gate is wide.
the decite become decievers.

To me u appear to be a good & wonderful person, who has alot to live for.

XXX's. here's a few extry hugs to have & keep in your pocket to have when needed & to share. XXXXX's

U know that we love & care about u & need u. yes everyone on DS needs u, your companionship. x's

The problem with our illness is on the outside, all can appear to be normal. But on the inside, there's extreme pain.

You summed that up!

I do feel we should all have the right to die at choice.

However I do not agree with you "having to" live for your family. I have a husband of 11 years (God knows he's a strong man to put up with my issues LOL) I also have 4 beautiful children. My oldest is 9. There have been several, several, several times when it would have been so easy to just sleep wake and kill myself. But I didn't because people needed me, not just my kids but my husband too.

The way I see it is this....have you ever stopped to think that you're not staying a live for them, that maybe they are keeping you alive and if that is a possiblitly in your mind, than you are way more loved than you know.

We all have our down days, weeks, even months. It's finding and grasping for everything we can on the way down that saves us.

Try looking around before you take off overseas.