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My 9 year old son has mood disorder, ADHD and ODD. There are very few things in this world that he gets attached to. One of those few things was his cat.
A few hours ago, he witnessed her getting hit by a car and watched her die. I cry for his loss, but am at an utter loss as to what to say to him. I've said things like "she is watching over you now", "she went to cat heaven", "remember the good times and not what you saw".
I know this is all too fresh in his memory for him to forget what he saw, and he will likely never forget it. I just don't have the words to express what he should do. I've told him to cry as much as he wants, talk to me whenever he wants, wake me up if he needs me.
That's all I got.
A few hours ago, he witnessed her getting hit by a car and watched her die. I cry for his loss, but am at an utter loss as to what to say to him. I've said things like "she is watching over you now", "she went to cat heaven", "remember the good times and not what you saw".
I know this is all too fresh in his memory for him to forget what he saw, and he will likely never forget it. I just don't have the words to express what he should do. I've told him to cry as much as he wants, talk to me whenever he wants, wake me up if he needs me.
That's all I got.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
you and your son, and the cat are in my prayers and thoughts, letting him know your there is about it ((((BIG HUG))))
I think the only thing you can do is tell him it is ok to be sad and sometimes bad things happen. Maybe make a memorial for the cat so your son has somewhere to remember his cat.
Facilitate his grieving process and not suppress it. Actually seeing his cat get hit and dying in front of him can be scary for a 9y.o.
I think you are doing great with what you have said to him; you are a compassionate mother.
I know the grieving process well (unfortunately), but I was much older than him and didn't know if I was leaving something out that could be a better way to help him.
The pain of watching him in pain is by far the worst pain I've ever experienced.
Maybe this will help?
http://www.pet-loss.net/children.shtml
It is harder to watch pain, then to go through it... my heart goes out to you!
and now is a good time to help him fill in the blanks about life and loss and God and grounding him in that type of structure of faith ...
wait ... thats exactly what you are doing ...
My sister has lost a few pets (old age) and she thinks about the rainbow bridge poem. Here is one link:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
@justletmebe- I found the article very helpful. Thank you.
@Angela- I may read that to my son and maybe it will bring him some peace. Thank you.
You're handling the awful death of your son's cat very appropriately. Share with him the poem about the rainbow bridge and also some sort of memorial preparations.
My kids were so accustomed to the cycle of life (we're on a farm) that it didn't really tear them up too badly. I wonder if that's because there would always be another horse, pig, dog, cat, rabbit, etc. I'm not sure how folks in town view this but we have always adopted another animal fairly quickly after a loss. Is that a possibility to you?
I'm so sorry for this heartbreaker for your family.
You have no idea the connection that was between him and his cat. He would go into panic attack mode if she had a bug bite with blood on it.
He mentioned wanting another cat, immediately followed by "no other cat will be like her" and "I don't want another cat, I just want her back". I told him that we would take time to handle feeling our loss for his cat and revisit the idea around his birthday (December).
I think the cremation idea is a good one since you will be moving and he won't be able to visit the grave. I had my dog cremated when I had to have him put down and I am planning on buying a tree and planting it in the yard and then burying his ashes when I do. Maybe you can do something like that at your new place and that way he would have a place to visit ya know? I know it's awful painful to see your child suffering and my heart goes out to the both of you.....will be sending thoughts of peace you way!!