Believe it or not, it's ok to feel that way--AS LONG AS you don't act on it. I've often felt that way over the years and I've always made it through to the other side. Have you talked to your doctor/therapist about how you are feeling? This may sound silly, but have you tried channeling how you feel into a journal, it really can help. I don't know if you have friends you trust, but maybe you can call one of them and see if they can stay with you for a day or 2. Having someone with you whether you talk or not can help. I don't know how religious you are, but since you mention God, have you told him how you feel? Sometimes people don't think God will love them anymore if they say what's really in their hearts.
For a time I was really angry at God and people, it felt like no one understood me, that the world would be better off if I had never been alive in the first place. But God was still there, he led the way to a good psych doctor and finally the right meds--it's taken about 25 years for me, so I'm sure there's still hope for you, too.

((((Hugs)))) tc!!! I know the hospital can seem overwhelming but I've had to turn there for help when dark feelings lasted too long. Sending you good thoughts and much strength!!!

Big hug for you sweetie... I know this has been a rough time for you... Please reach out to your doctor or a crisis line TC.... If you need to go to emerg... There is healing to be had for you... Another hug and a blessing...xo

TC this uncomfortable state is something many of us have first hand experience with. As was said earlier it's OK to feel this way as long as you don't act on it.

Suicidal depression and exhaustion are a difficult combination to bear. (((((Hugs)))) to you....

I also agree talking or some how expressing what you are feeling helps many.... Hopefully it helps you. So sorry you are feeling this bad....

I'm sorry TC, I have some idea about how much you have been struggling lately bc of your posts on the boards. Of course you feel defeated and exhausted. I hope you know that we care. Do you need to call your pdoc, or make a trip to the ER? Please be safe. ((hugs))

I care too. I feel so deeply sorry your feeling so depressed and discouraged. How your feeling may be the depression. What eve reason you're feeling so down I'm glad your reaching out. I was there so I can relate. Please reach out for professional support. The members who responded here including me care but we can't give you the medical help you need Big hugs for you.

We need you

Sorry TC40 that you feel so bad. Personally I have been screwed over many of times. I always think that if I help people out, then someting ,someday will come out of it.

Hang in there, eventually somethimg positive will come your way. Life is like driving in the dark... your headlights only can light up things 30 feet in front of you..you never know what good things are just beyond the light..

Hope you feel better.

Hey TC we are here for you. We dont want you to hurt yourself. Please talk to us. Hugs friend.

*bump*
I am still struggling. Talked to my useless doc today. She finally returned my call TWO DAYS later. She said she was unwilling to make any med changes. She told me to take the neurontin three times per day for the anxiety. She said there is nothing that will help with the depression because this is situational. BUT...I did get word just a bit ago. My unemployment is still going to be honored for two months!!!!!!! (My last employer that I worked for for 6 WEEKS!) said I was terminated due to MISCONDUCT and we're trying to block my unemployment even though the claim wasn't against THEM!!!! Anyhow... Plus I am going to get some help from a local agency with a few bills. I have had SOOOOO much stress on me. I still have SOOO far to go to find another job. These past 5 months have eroded my self esteem so badly that I truly can't put it into words. It is so hard. I truly wish I could die. I'm tired of the constant struggle. I'm mentally drained. I am praising God for my unemployment benefits!!!!! Thank you all for helping me by being there for me!!!!!