Hi Everyone, I am no stranger to this site. For two months I have grieved my estranged father in (February). His death affected me and unexpectedly — so many decisions about my education and career have changed to better myself. I had to walk away from my clinical assignment and postpone my graduation for 2022. I have five classes to complete. However, I decided to take one year off to focus on me and deal with my grief before moving forward and pursuing my Ph.D. These changes will make me emotionally and mentally stronger for sure, I always said I am strong but my advisor assured me, I am a lot stronger than what I think. Besides the recent death of my father; I had lost 15 people three years before attending Lehigh. I continued my routine with work and academics; however, complicated grief along with new pain (triggered) emotions that I never felt. I had only became acquainted with my estranged father shortly after the New Year, and then he died Superbowl weekend. We shared a special bond for the "Steelers" however our father-daughter acquaintance ended abruptly, and I am trying to make sense of it. Cause of death is (unknown), and that's something I have to deal with after two months. My mother has been incredibly supportive and empathetic throughout the situation; there were some harsh moments too, but she wanted me to get better (ASAP) for religious and cultural reasons. I need this year off to declutter and explore life outside of textbooks and tears.

There has been some progress. There is less crying and isolation and slowly going back to my outgoing self from time to time. My wardrobe is not reflecting a depressive mood of sweatpants, leggings, and ugg boots. I am finding myself laughing and joking more these past two weeks and expressing myself intellectually as I did before. Advisors and coordinators are praising me for the progress with me for dealing with the grief and continuing to progress academically. My research is making progress and presentations are coming together. My cohort is graduating in a few short weeks. At first, I was angry that I would not be joining them but I will be okay because this year off is a "Life Discovery" for me. Therefore, I get to graduate to a new stage in discovering and finding what makes me happy; so when I return next summer, I will shine bright and walk across my stage.