I’ve been on/off the website due to academics, life, moving, grief, and taking a year off from graduate studies the list goes on. And now, I’m back. But out of all the chaos that has disrupted my world, grief crept into morning and tears just fell at 6:45am. I had an interesting conversation with my godmother and mother. You see I lost my estrange father exactly 7 months ago...last February to be exact. Unexpected and to my dismay it was too much to handle that it crippled me in more ways than one. The best way to describe it was that it was unwanted all the way to learning about his death on social media, funeral, meeting his family for the first time, to taking 18 months off from my graduate studies because I’m studying mental health counseling. To now dealing with the human aspects of building relationships and getting back to being me. I have made so much progress and now it creeps back in at random. I guess my mother struck a nerve when she explained it to my godmother clearly. She said it simple...she always wanted the father-daughter relationship and she tried to make amends with him. He never tried with her and he failed. She reached out to him, after the new year. She was content with developing a 3 year relationship with her grandfather but promised to be the bigger person since he never thought to ask for her number. But as father and daughter they had some progress within the 3 weeks that’s all she got in 30 years. That’s it and he’s gone. So imagine 30 years and that other part of you no longer exists and meeting strangers that are not his biological family but adopted family. It’s going to do something you. She also expressed that she could empathize because she too had lost her father in her 30’s and it didn’t have that much aftermath only to become acquainted with her biological side and chooses to be around or not. So I get it. But this is going to take time for her. A lot more than what anyone thinks she may needs. She needs to stay busy, active, and healthy m for her academic career and career goals. She’s 5 classes away from graduating, so close but this was a trauma. She will succeed but it will take time and patience.