My wife and I lost our little girl prematurely last July. Our beautiful little Addison Juliet was born and past away on July 28, 2017. My wife’s water broke many weeks too early and unfortunately she wasn’t far enough along that even if she was saved, there would not have been any quality of life. She was our first pregnancy. I remember the night my wife had told me she was pregnant like it was yesterday. I was so excited that I couldn’t contain myself and started telling everyone I could around me. Aside from some brutal morning sickness that my wife had to deal with. The pregnancy was textbook and Addison was developing perfectly in every regard. Unfortunately we found out much too late that my wife has an incompetent cervix which then lead to her water breaking followed by an untimely birth and death of our baby girl. It was no ones fault what happened, though my wife took it very personally and blamed herself for a while. We both had a pretty rough go of it in the following months. I fell into a pretty deep depression and had a very difficult time clawing my way out of that hole. Even with the amazing support of our families and friends, my depression was resilient and would not go away. Finally I was able to come to terms with what had happened. I’m still triggered occasionally with a memory or a certain song but for the most part I’m moving past it, though I will never forget my baby girl. My wife had a surgery this past December called a TAC or a trans-abdominal cerclage which will give us a pretty good shot of making it to term. Plus we just found out that she is pregnant again and we are hoping the TAC keeps the bun in the oven long enough to cook all the way through. I’m not going to lie, I am absolutely terrified and stresssd out and hoping that we don’t have to go through that again. I’m cautiously optimistic about our chances of having a healthy baby this year and have a good feeling about this one but I can’t shake the fear of losing another one.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I will leave you with some lyrics to a silly song I wrote for my baby girl that has become very nostalgic...
Little Addison Juliet, your mom and dad will never forget
We love you very much my dear, you were the best part of our year.
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