Well people, here I go again with my self-sabotage or not understanding why I am the way that I am. I argued with my significant other last night because I just get so anxious sometimes that my irrational thoughts take over and I just stop wanting to share what is wrong. I know it frustrates them to no end that I can be open and sharing everything with them about me and then the next second I'm closed off. It's like I'm still afraid of being completely open with them and letting them in due to past experiences or because I still can't completely get it through my head that this person generally wants to be with me and they love me. It's just so frustrating to be me sometimes, and I just don't know what to do. I'm so stressed out because of school and internship and everything that I just can't be myself.
They've said it so many times that "you'll see once you're done with school, we will be back to normal" or "our brightest days are yet to come" and like I just want to get there already. I probably sound irrational or I don't make sense, but guys.. I'm just freaking out still because the one thing that goes through my mind with this wonderful person is "they're gonna get tired of your anxiousness and the way you are sometimes that they're gonna leave"
I also feel the need to mention that my mood changes a lot, which i'm not sure can be part of my anxiety or if that's a whole other situation there..
I don't know guys.. it's hard.